Domestic quarrels, perhaps, have not bypassed any marriage. Temporary grinding in a relationship is considered normal and does not require the intervention of a specialist. But what if the husband constantly infuriates? How to calm down and minimize possible conflict? How to behave when a spouse just looks annoying and causes negative emotions? The information in the article will help answer the questions.
Why does the husband infuriate: the main reasons
There are a lot of factors that influence a woman's mood. In addition to the physiological characteristics that make the emotional background unstable (menopause, postmenstrual syndrome, pregnancy and the postpartum period), there are other reasons that provoke the development of negativity towards a partner. For example:
- Long-standing grievances.
- Lack of attention from her husband.
- Sexual dissatisfaction.
- Self-doubt.
- Household turmoil(busy household chores, lack of funds, debts, etc.).
- The inability of the partner to listen to the opinion and desires of the spouse.
This is just a small list of what makes a woman irritable. An elementary mess caused by a spouse can provoke hostility from his beloved. Many ladies report that their husband pisses them off the first time they encounter such a problem.
Why does the beloved cause irritability
We are all individual, everyone was brought up differently, which means that they look at this world differently. Due to the dissimilarity of life views and values, a woman may have hostility towards her husband. What to do if the husband infuriates and irritates? Try to understand him. For example, in his family it was not customary to show excessive sensitivity, and from childhood he accepted such behavior as the norm. Now, having become a husband, he behaves in the same way as his father, counting on the fact that you grew up in the same conditions as he did. But for you, the lack of physical contact causes misunderstanding, and you begin to get annoyed instead of talking to him. Hug your partner, tell him how much you love him. Do this as often as possible and he will get used to it. Remember: by changing yourself, you are changing the way your husband treats you.
Who is to blame?
It is absolutely not necessary that the culprit of the negativity should be a man. Women themselves often cannot decide what they want from their other half, due towhich gets irritated and cannot find a compromise.
Psychologists agree that if the husband began to enrage, then first of all you need to understand yourself. You should sort out each of the claims and understand whether everything is so bad in the relationship at the moment. Do you want to stop being annoyed with or without? Talk to your inner self, and then invite your other half to dialogue.
Expert Tips
What to do if your husband pisses you off? Do a little training. However, provided that such situations occur rarely enough, you can get by with a simple conversation with your spouse.
For an exercise that helps to improve relations with your lover, you need to take a sheet of paper and divide it in half with a line. On one side, all the negative character traits of the husband and his actions are written out, and on the other - your reaction about this. You need to answer sincerely, listening to your heart. One act - one very bright and strong emotion.
At the end of the exercise, analyze your own answers. This will help you figure out if your husband is constantly pissing you off or is it just a response to small, unworthy everyday situations.
When the analysis is complete, tear the sheet along the line. Now its halves represent your contribution to the relationship and what the other half brings to them. Take a closer look at your reaction to the actions of a loved one: maybe it's time for you to change something in yourself and replace constant resentment (scandals, disputes) with warmth and care?
When to clapdoor?
Breaking up can be painful for both partners. But do not make hasty conclusions and leave, surrendering to a momentary impulse. Even if the husband infuriates and irritates you very much, and you just can’t cope with the negativity, there will always be another way out of the situation. Try to talk with a loved one, ask for advice from the older generation - mothers, grandmothers, sisters. Their experience can help prevent divorce.
However, when your irritability is justified by serious shortcomings in your spouse, such as alcoholism, cruelty, commercialism and selfishness, the only right way out is to disperse. According to statistics, families in which a man is a sadist or an alcoholic are doomed to divorce. Do not try to glue the broken and endlessly admonish your husband, this will not help. You will only lose time and your own nerves.
Why does my husband piss me off during pregnancy?
Expecting a baby is far from the most wonderful period in a woman's life. Contrary to the claims of glossy magazines and women's online communities, pregnancy is not something magical and insanely beautiful. Of course, the very realization that a child will soon be born, a part of you and your beloved, inspires and elevates to heaven. But throughout all 9 months, a woman is waiting for difficult tests: a change in hormonal levels, gaining excess weight, getting used to the fact that she is now a future mother. All this seriously affects the physical and mental state.
During this period, the attention of a beloved man is especially important for a woman: he must be there, no matter what. The spouse must understand that due to global changes, his beloved may become overly sentimental, whiny and irritable. Therefore, he must respond gently to any whim, agreeing with it or moving away from the conflict.
What causes a woman's irritability during pregnancy?
Some ladies begin to dislike their husband because, on a subconscious level, they blame him for the negative changes that the conception of a child entailed. They become aggressive, do not allow a man to approach them, and in every possible way try to avoid intimacy (both physical and spiritual). Also, this phenomenon is considered a kind of protection for an unborn baby. A pregnant woman feels an invisible danger in everything and thus tries to protect her child from her.
Does your husband piss you off during pregnancy and you don't know how to deal with it? Try to relax in his presence, remind yourself that he is the father of the unborn child and will not hurt you or the baby for anything in the world. Do not forbid your loved one to touch you, watch your belly grow. Spend more time together, walk, relax in the fresh air, this will benefit the relationship. However, if hostility becomes unbearable, then try to imagine life without a husband. Mentally simulate how a baby is born, but without a father, how you return to an empty apartment where no one is waiting for you. How did you feel?Feelings caused by these thoughts will help you avoid conflict with your partner.
Postpartum depression
The negative state that almost every third new mother is in is called postpartum depression. Constant fatigue, household chores that have fallen on a woman in the form of washing, cleaning and cooking make her annoyed for any reason.
Ladies who say that their husband pisses them off after giving birth often have not yet fully recovered after the birth of a baby, because the process of giving birth to a child is considered a stressful situation. In the first months of a child's life, they need even more support and understanding from their spouse. If a woman is not given this, but, on the contrary, more and more sophisticated demands are made on her, then this is fraught with scandals and misunderstandings in the family. The husband should know that his beloved is now at risk: any incorrectly spoken word, criticism of her is stored in memory for a long time, and then can result in a conflict.
How to help yourself get rid of hostility towards your husband after childbirth?
Intimacy in many young mothers is a persistent disgust. They push their spouses away, avoiding spending time together. But do not think that this will always be the case. Approximately 2-3 months after giving birth, everything will return to normal, and the desire to be close to your beloved will again seize your heart.
Negativity experienced towards a partner will pass if you stop mentally blaming him for your excessivecompleteness and the fact that you do not have time for anything. Be softer, let the new father spend time with the child, ask him for help, share your problems with your husband and do not withdraw into yourself. Only in this way will you be able to overcome the crisis in the relationship associated with the appearance of a child.
How to stop getting irritated?
What if the husband and any of his actions infuriates? Learn to relax. You don’t need to drink a mountain of antidepressants and sedatives, it’s enough to mentally go to a place where you feel good and calm. Replace negativity with positive emotions, react unexpectedly to your spouse’s misconduct: hug him, kiss him and praise him. This will make him change for the better.
Know that the problem lies not so much in your partner as in you, because it was you who chose him as a life partner.
