The death anniversary is a date of mourning, during which relatives and friends gather for a memorial meal. This is an opportunity to remember the good deeds and touching moments of the life of the deceased, share your feelings, express condolences.
The anniversary of death is celebrated in a narrow circle. How to remember who to invite, what menu to make - organizational issues excite the family of the deceased. Deeds of mercy, prayers, a visit to the cemetery should honor the memory of the deceased.
History of memorial days
Wake (or commemoration, remembrance) is a ritual in memory of a deceased person. Usually the funeral is held by relatives, if there are none, close people, friends.
The tradition of commemoration arose in connection with Christian teaching. Each religion has its own rites of remembrance of people. Adapted folk consciousness often combines several beliefs into one ritual.
Christian traditions are fundamental in Russia. Nevertheless, according to Orthodox rules (with funeral commemorations, prayers), only people who have undergone the rite of baptism are commemorated. The exceptions are suicides, unbaptized, non-Orthodox, heretics - the church does not pray for them.
Commemoration dates
In Orthodoxy, a commemoration after death is held 3 times. On the third day after death, on the ninth, fortieth. The essence of the ritual is a memorial meal. Relatives, acquaintances gather at a common table. They remember the deceased, his good deeds, stories from life. Dishes from the memorial table are distributed to friends, acquaintances, colleagues of the deceased, so that they remember him.
On the day of the funeral, everyone who wants to honor the memory of the deceased gathers. The Christian is first taken to the burial rite in the church or chapel of the cemetery. The unbaptized dead, after parting with the house, are immediately taken to the cemetery. The burial takes place according to the traditions of the region in which the person lived. Then everyone returns to the house for the wake.
On the 9th day after death, only close relatives are called to honor the memory of the deceased. The commemoration is reminiscent of a family dinner, with the difference that the photo of the deceased is not far from the refectory table. Next to the picture of the deceased put a glass of water or vodka, a slice of bread. This is a pagan tradition, unacceptable for Christians.
On the 40th day everyone is invited. On this day, those who could not attend the funeral usually come to the wake.
Then comes the death anniversary. How to remember who to invite is decided by the relatives of the deceased. Usually called on the anniversary of the death of the closest friends, relatives.
Christian tradition of commemoration
According to the Christian faithcommemoration on the 3rd day after death is performed in honor of the resurrection of Christ (on the 3rd day after the execution). On the 9th day - in honor of the angelic ranks who ask the Lord to have mercy on the deceased. On the 40th day - in honor of the ascension of the Lord.
Church tradition says that the soul has been wandering since the day of death. Until the 40th day, she is preparing for the decision of God. The first 3 days after death, the soul visits the places of earthly life, close people. Then she flies around the heavenly abodes from the 3rd to the 9th day. Then he sees the torment of sinners in hell from 9 to 40 days.
God's decision occurs on the 40th day. A directive is issued about where the soul will be until the Last Judgment.
The beginning of a new, eternal life is the anniversary of death. How to commemorate the deceased, whom to invite, what to order - these are important organizational issues. It is necessary to prepare for the day of remembrance in advance.
Death anniversary: how to commemorate
On the date of mourning is reported only to those whom the family of the deceased wants to see on the anniversary. These should be the closest and dearest people, friends of the deceased. It is necessary to clarify who will be able to come. Knowing the number of guests will help to correctly compose the menu. In case of an unforeseen arrival of someone from your acquaintances, make portioned dishes 1-2 more.
On the anniversary of death, you should come to the cemetery, visit the grave of the deceased. After that, all relatives and friends are invited to a memorial dinner. It should be noted that the days of commemoration are at the discretion of the family of the deceased. Subsequent discussions by strangers about the correctness of the ritual are inappropriate.
The death anniversary is approaching. How to remember how to set the table? It is important to note that such events are conveniently held in small cafes. This will save the owners from the exhausting preparation of various dishes and the subsequent tidying up in the apartment.
Christians order special memorial services in the church. You should discuss in advance with the priest all the activities that need to be carried out. You can limit yourself to home reading akathists, memorial prayers, invite the priest to the house.
Whom to invite?
In a close family circle, there is a commemoration, the anniversary of death. How to remember who to call is discussed by relatives in advance. It is customary to invite only those whom you want to see for the holidays.
Unwanted visitors may unexpectedly descend on the anniversary of death. The family of the deceased must make a decision - to leave an unwanted guest for a memorial dinner or not to invite to the table at all. The anniversary of death is an event only for the closest people.
Don't have a crowded gathering. A mourning date, the memory of the deceased is not a reason for a noisy party. A modest family dinner, warm memories of the deceased - this is how the anniversary of death passes. How to commemorate - decide the next of kin of the deceased. A leisurely, calm atmosphere, quiet music, photographs of the deceased are a worthy way to honor the memory.
How to dress properly?
Death anniversary clothing is important. If a trip to the cemetery is planned before the memorial dinner, weather conditions should be taken into account. To visit the churchwomen need to prepare a headdress (shawl).
Strictly dressed for all funeral events. Shorts, deep neckline, bows and ruffles will look indecent. Bright, colorful colors are best avoided. Business suits, office suits, closed shoes, strict dresses in muted colors are the appropriate choice for a mourning date.
How to commemorate the anniversary of death? Good memories in a close circle. You can give alms - pies, sweets, things of the deceased.
Visiting a cemetery
You should definitely visit the cemetery for years. If weather conditions do not allow (heavy rain, snowstorm) it can be done on another day. You should arrive at the cemetery in the first half of the day.
The grave of the deceased must be monitored. Timely paint the fence, you can put a small table and bench. Plant flowers, weed out unnecessary weeds that give the grave an untidy look. This is the anniversary of death … How to remember a person? Clean up on his grave, light candles in special cups, lay fresh flowers.
According to Christian traditions, the synod banned wreaths with inscriptions from fake flowers back in the 19th century. Such layings distract from prayers for the soul of the deceased.
You can bring tea, alcohol, pies, sweets with you to the grave. Modestly commemorate the deceased, pour the remnants of alcohol on the grave, pour crumbs - this is a symbol of the presence of the deceased next to the living. Such a pagan tradition at the wakefollowed by many families.
In Christianity, it is forbidden to bring anything to the grave. Only fresh flowers and prayers should be used to commemorate the dead.
How to set the table
Table setting for the commemoration is standard. The only difference is to put an even number of dishes on the table. Forks on mourning dates are usually excluded. Such a moment in time remains at the discretion of the family of the deceased.
Dishes, in addition to the obligatory ones on the funeral table, are prepared in accordance with the preferences of the deceased. You can add mourning ribbons to the interior, light candles.
For the Orthodox - to consecrate kutya in the church. Exclude alcohol, stick to modest and fasting days - start from them when compiling the menu. Pay more attention not to eating, but to prayers for the deceased.
Death Anniversary Menu
As with ordinary commemorations, the anniversary of death is celebrated. How to remember what to cook? Kissel, kutia, pancakes are considered obligatory on the memorial table. The symbol of Christianity is fish dishes - these can be pies, cold appetizers, smoked meats.
From salads you can make vinaigrette, beets with garlic, vegetable caviar. Serve sauerkraut, pickled cucumbers and mushrooms. Sandwiches with sprats, baked cheese. Meat and cheese cuts.
For hot dishes, fried or baked chicken (rabbit, goose, duck, turkey) is suitable. Cutlets or steaks, French meat or chop, stuffed vegetables or lamb stew. For garnish - boiled potatoes, vegetable stew,fried eggplant.
In the form of a dessert - gingerbread, sweet pies, pancakes, cheesecakes, sweets, fruits and apples. Drinks - purchased juices or home-brewed compote, jelly, lemonade.
Exclude sparkling and sweet wines from the menu, as it is not a happy holiday, but the anniversary of death. How to remember? Give preference to strong drinks (vodka, cognac, whiskey), dry red wines. During a table conversation, it is customary to remember the deceased, his good deeds on earth.
Walking in the cafe
To exclude the bulk purchase of products, cooking, table setting and subsequent tidying up, you can order a small room in a cafe. So that the anniversary of death passes in a calm atmosphere. How to remember what to order - the cafe staff will help. Their menu is not much different from homemade.
It is necessary to warn the cafe staff in advance that guests will gather for a wake. The administrator will try to keep too cheerful visitors as far as possible from the relatives of the deceased (if we are talking about the common room).
Usually, it is customary to book a small banquet hall for the holidays. Then festively minded neighbors will not interfere with the quiet mood of the death anniversary.
If you are not attracted by a cafe, but you want a cozy, homely atmosphere, you can order lunch at home. Coordinate the menu in advance, set the time and delivery address.
Death anniversary: how to commemorate in church
According to Christian beliefs, the duty of the living is to pray for the deceased. Then the gravest sins can be forgiven. Church funeral services are called to ask for the forgiveness of sinsdeceased. Not only on the days of commemoration, but also on ordinary days, you can order a memorial service.
During the Divine Liturgy, prayers for the departed are heard. Immediately before the Liturgy (or in advance, in the evening), a note is submitted in which the names of the deceased Christians are inscribed. During the Liturgy, all names are announced.
You can order a magpie about the deceased. This is a commemoration for 40 days before the Liturgy. Sorokoust is also ordered for a longer period - a commemoration for six months or a year.
An ordinary candle for the repose of the soul is also a memory of the deceased. In home prayers, you can commemorate the deceased. There is a special Christian book - a commemoration book, where the names of the deceased should be entered.
When visiting the cemetery, Christians read an akathist, perform litia (it is also performed before a funeral dinner, for which a priest is invited).
Alms distribution
On memorial days, attention should be paid to works of mercy. Funeral dishes can be presented to those in need, acquaintances, colleagues. This is done so that as many people as possible remember the deceased with a kind word.
A good occasion for charity is the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased? You can distribute money, sweets, cookies to the poor at the church and ask them to pray for the deceased, donate money for the construction of the temple. Needy acquaintances are usually given the things of the deceased.
Charity is a good deed towards the poor. Therefore, the familythe deceased does not have to distribute food, money to the poor at the church. You can find people in your environment (pensioners, families with many children) who will need real help. Or take a small offering to a nursing home, boarding school, orphanage.
Death anniversary arrangements
- Notify in advance of the approaching mourning date, invite relatives and friends of the deceased.
- Choose a cafe or organize an event at home.
- Visit the cemetery, the grave of the deceased.
- To honor the memory of the deceased with a memorial dinner.
- Give alms to those in need.
