How to stop comparing yourself to other people: effective ways and recommendations from professionals

2024 Author: Miguel Ramacey | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 06:11

We are used to comparing ourselves with others since childhood. Perhaps everyone remembers how his parents repeatedly tried to prick him with success or some outstanding qualities of his peers, emphasizing that he was far from them? Growing up, we ourselves, out of habit, continue to compare ourselves with other people. And it is not always in our favor.

And if in childhood we were simply offended by elders and internally resisted such a comparison, then as adults we suffer from our own habit of measuring our merits by the success of others, involuntarily lowering our self-esteem.

When such comparisons increasingly interfere with enjoying life, you need to start fighting it. How to stop comparing yourself to others? There are different ways.

Is it worth fighting the habit of comparing at all

How to stop comparing yourself to others and start living fully? And is it even possible, because everyone has such a habit? Fullygetting rid of it, perhaps, will not work, but trying to make sure that it does not poison our lives is simply necessary. But how?

To begin with, you just need to consciously decide to refuse comparisons. No one but the person himself can do it for him. Only by overcoming the habit of comparing yourself with more successful and fortunate people can a person truly experience happiness and freedom. And it's worth it to learn how to stop comparing yourself to others and get rid of this habit forever.

Wrong comparison?

How to stop comparing yourself to others? The reasons for this habit lie not only in education. Artificial stereotypes of a beautiful life are constantly being imposed on us through advertising on television and on the Internet. And we often find ourselves unprepared to resist this, forgetting that advertising is intended to sell, not to show real life from the screens.

Feeling inferior often comes from comparing yourself to more successful or more beautiful real people. For example, when viewing photos of your friends and acquaintances in social networks. Seemingly successful people like to post selfies taken on foreign trips, in rich homes, prestigious restaurants.

And it's such a shame to realize that your life is not so bright at all… Compared to all this splendor, your own happy moments seem to fade.

Didn't you come tohead to the idea that people posting these photos on the Internet simply create the illusion of well-being? And it’s not a fact that the “successful” and “brilliant” would not envy your cozy and simple happiness…

Only by learning to appreciate what he has and be grateful to fate for it, a person can truly feel the taste of life!

Beating yourself up is stupid

If in childhood we “measure” with our peers the correct, from the point of view of adults, behavior or good grades, prestigious toys, then at an older age we already begin to compare cars, outfits, figures, career growth, vacation spots, luck and success…

When such a comparison is increasingly in favor of others, a person is gnawed by disappointment, he begins to doubt himself and feel flawed. Uncertainty in one's own abilities does not at all stimulate one to achieve more, but on the contrary, it contributes to the fact that one gives up…

Psychologists say that such self-flagellation is pointless and even stupid. After all, the universe has created each person unique. Each of us is unique. Someone is given a talent in one area, someone in another; some received from God an extraordinary external beauty, while others were given a beautiful soul; others seem to have neither beauty nor special abilities, but in life they are so lucky that many envy them …

That's why you don't need to compare yourself with other people - the same unique creatures. It is logical to compare only … with oneself, but with others, in other circumstances or inanother time.

How to compare yourself… to yourself

Why measure merit and success with outstanding athletes or artists? It is much more useful to compare yourself with yourself, but some time ago. For example, to remember that until recently it was inaccessible, but today it has already become a reality. Such a comparison motivates self-improvement, becoming better.

So if the question of how to stop comparing yourself to others is relevant for you, it is useful to learn how to make such a comparison with yourself yesterday in order to give a real assessment of your movement forward and start being proud of today's success. How?

Don't forget your own virtues

Usually, we compare ourselves to others on some specific measure. But after all, some virtues were given to someone from birth, and others - others … Everyone has both strengths and weaknesses.

But here's the paradox: we ex alt other people's successes to the skies, they seem to us delightful and unique. But for some reason, we quickly forget about our own achievements. They warm the soul only at the beginning, and after a while, feelings of pride and joy are replaced by a gray streak of despondency.

Psychologists advise people with low self-esteem to write down all achievements, even the smallest ones. To do this, it is recommended to keep a special diary. And as soon as there is a feeling that once again, after comparing yourself with others, self-esteem again falls catastrophically, you just need to re-read your entries in the achievement diary. It is very important not to forget the list of your successes constantly.replenish!

But don't be vain either

The other side of the coin is comparing yourself to those who are not up to your bar in some way. This, too, will not lead to anything good. Only at first glance it may seem that by comparing oneself with those who are less successful in some area, a person raises his self-esteem. In fact, it leads to vanity. And most importantly, it hinders their own self-development, does not allow an arrogant personality to grow. After all, why become better if you are already superior to someone else?

In any case, comparing yourself to others is harmful. After all, such a comparison makes a person either unhappy or conceited. Both one and the other does not carry anything positive in itself.

Control yourself

Control the moments when you start comparing yourself with others: as soon as the thought of your own superiority or inferiority comes to mind, immediately drive it out of there! Getting rid of vanity or bitter envy is easier in their very bud.

And in parallel, it doesn't hurt to work out your complexes. Maybe you should not envy others, but try to pull up the area of \u200b\u200blife in which you are a little behind?

For example, are you far from the ideal figure of a friend or a movie actress? Do not rush to get upset about this - better go to a fitness club! And if you feel that your success at work is significantly inferior to the achievements of your colleagues, you should do self-development or enroll in retraining courses.

Ifyou, on the contrary, feel your superiority over others in some way - help them to catch up to your level. Your self-esteem will only increase from this.

How to stop comparing yourself to other women

Most often suffer from comparing themselves with others of the fairer sex. Starting with external data and ending with success in personal life and career. Solving the question of how to stop comparing yourself to other girls often becomes one of the important conditions for them to feel happy.

Psychologists say they compare themselves to more beautiful or successful people who are deprived of love in life. Real, disinterested, which is not for something, but "just like that." Such an inferiority complex is involuntarily brought up in girls by their parents in childhood, when they praise, kiss or allow something pleasant for good grades, help around the house, etc.

And if this completely wrong idea of love is firmly entrenched in the mind, it must be eradicated. To begin with, every girl must learn to love herself the way God created her. Everyone has their own shortcomings, but there are also advantages behind which minor imperfections are simply not visible! It is important to remember that only by loving herself and accepting her imperfection can a woman find harmony.

How to stop comparing yourself to other people. Conclusion

We all compare ourselves with others from childhood, but fromthis bad habit needs to get rid of.

Consciously watch and stop every desire to compare.

While admiring the virtues of others, remember your own strengths.

Love yourself just the way you are. Accept your imperfection. Remember that perfect people don't exist.

In doing so, you will not notice that you are no longer faced with the task of how to stop comparing yourself to others.