Guilt can be equated with an all-consuming pathological human condition, under the influence of which serious moral oppression occurs. Mental anguish, constant thoughts about what has been done, regular torment in search of answers to questions hanging in the air - the catalyst for all this is precisely the constant feeling of guilt in front of everyone. How to get rid of the oppressive feeling? And how to wrest from the subconscious involvement in something irreparable?
The dangerous feeling of guilt
In order to understand how to get rid of guilt, you must first understand for yourself what is the danger of this fraught feeling. It does not always fall on the head for no reason at all. The origins of this issue can be rooted in the distant past, where some misdeeds were committed some time ago, cowardice was shown, some kind ofthen injustice, in view of which the moment of belated repentance in the form of remorse came. A person begins to experience a subconscious transformation, a reassessment of views, a rethinking of what happened.
With increasing force, thoughts in the form of obsessive ideas begin to attack him with the implication of dictating accusatory reproaches and reproaches of conscience to him. Gradually, a person becomes gloomy, thoughtful, often immersed in his thoughts, loses his appetite, spends more time alone, closes himself from society and begins to experience the standard pre-depressive apathy, called a feeling of guilt and shame in front of someone.
How to get rid of guilt and shame? What is the danger of the influence of these factors on the human subconscious?
- Firstly, a person begins to lose vital energy - he is not able to fully work, function, exist in full force.
- Secondly, he loses self-confidence as a personal unit - by daily mental punishment of himself, he experiences the first stages of degradation and drives himself into a dead end.
- Thirdly, he stops communicating with others, ignoring interest in everything that happens - the surrounding sphere of activity completely ceases to interest a person who feels guilty.
- Fourthly, it undergoes a depressive state, which can subsequently lead to a nervous breakdown due to total pessimistic oppression.
Understanding the danger of falling into this kind of stagnant moral andmental numbness, it is imperative to learn how to get rid of guilt. Psychological techniques, developed on the basis of the practical skills of qualified specialists and the experience of previous years, open up the possibility of gradually eliminating a person who blames himself for everything from the subconscious, eradicating guilty feelings in front of different people.
Guilt before mom
One of the strongest destructive feelings is a persistent feeling of guilt towards parents. How to get rid of a debilitating disease? How to stop reproaching yourself for guilt in front of your mother - the best, beloved, dear woman in the whole wide world?
This topic, which is quite complex in nature, requires some explanation. The fact is that the feeling of guilt towards parents is laid down in childhood - this can happen consciously or unconsciously. The mother, who could not get pregnant for a long time, nevertheless achieved conception with great difficulty, carried and gave birth to her long-awaited child, subsequently carefully protects him from external adversity, constantly holding the child tightly under her maternal wing. In principle, she does not even consider the model of behavior of an adult child, when he will have to choose to go on a free voyage, move away from her and start building his personal life and his own family with his children. At this stage, voluntary or involuntary maternal manipulation of the child begins: “you leave me”, “you leave me alone”, “I raised you with such difficulty, and you pay me with such an easyseparation” and similar manipulative steps that plunge an adult child into a state of irresistible guilt before his parent.
How to get rid of guilt before mom?
- Be in constant contact with her, reminding you of yourself daily with your calls and occasional visits with your family and children.
- Help in every possible way, give attention and show participation in solving her problems.
- Let go of childhood and youthful grievances, forget about them forever.
- Help mom and try to direct her thoughts, aspirations and actions in a different direction: give her the opportunity to forget about her departure from her daily everyday life, opening up new opportunities for her in the form of hobbies, hobbies, communication with girlfriends, long-awaited grandchildren, a new life partner.
Guilt before loved ones
What to do if there is a conflict with relatives? How to get rid of feelings of guilt towards loved ones? People often stop communicating with their relatives because of some domestic problems or quarrels that arise mainly on the basis of questions on the division of property and similar unpleasant dilemmas. Another model of discord between relatives is also possible: the older sister feels guilty before the younger one because her parents place more hopes on her, give her more attention and care than the younger one. One way or another, but a small worm is born in a person, which creates remorse of conscience in his mind, develops this feeling to a global scale.
To prevent the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment and shame in front of your family,it is necessary to carry out analytical work on the current situation, to identify specific ways to solve it.
- The first thing that should help in resolving the misunderstanding that has occurred is a constructive conversation. It is necessary to direct the conversation in such a direction that will clearly and clearly explain to the offended side the motives of the act, possible repentance and proposals for restoring warm relations.
- The second thing that a guilty person should understand for himself is that if the opposing side does not make contact because of some whim, envy and hatred, then perhaps you should not bother and reproach yourself remorse about the feelings of a person who does not deserve it.
Guilt before spouse
An even more ornate and complex path in trying to comprehend the truth of how to get rid of guilt is the feeling of shame in front of a beloved husband (beloved wife). The most global and frequently encountered problem in this regard is, of course, discord associated with infidelity. An all-consuming sense of shame, disappointment in oneself, pangs of conscience associated with one's own betrayal and fleeting weakness in the form of betrayal can bring a person to a state of deepest despair and the loss of any hope for forgiveness from a loved one and himself. Often in such situations, the final point in the question is divorce.
How to get rid of guilt that constantly haunts, does not allow to live and exist further? Broken dreams, stolen hopesa broken family - all this provokes desperate steps, and the underlying reason for all this is an immense and soul-rending feeling of guilt. What psychologists recommend:
- first, accept the situation - what happened, happened;
- secondly, let go of your life a person who categorically does not make contact after what happened - his obsession can only aggravate the situation;
- Thirdly, take your time and try to apologize to those who have been hurt - usually time intervals allow you to forget and get used to what happened, and this, in turn, can help you receive a long-awaited forgiveness.
Guilt to those who are no more
How to get rid of guilt before a dead person? Oddly enough, but in life there are moments when someone dies or passes away untimely, suddenly and suddenly, which entails some feelings of guilt of people close or familiar to him. I didn’t have time to see another person who had gone into the world for the last time, I couldn’t make peace and forget old grievances, I couldn’t overcome pride in myself and say “I’m sorry” to him - there can be a huge number of reasons. But this feeling sits quite tightly in the subconscious of the sufferer and slowly but surely brings the person to terrible thoughts. How to get rid of the constant feeling of guilt in this case? Here it is important to clarify one point: the person is gone, it doesn’t really matter to him whether his comrade is tormented by conscientious remorse or not. For your own peace of mind, you can visitthe grave of a friend who left this world, put a candle for him in the church, but in fact there is no way to apologize, and therefore there is no point in blaming yourself.
Guilt before the child
It is not uncommon for parents to make certain mistakes in their child-rearing methods. How to get rid of guilt before a child? Here you can build a model of a constructive conversation with a teenager, necessarily placing emphasis on the fact that he is already quite an adult, a practically formed personality unit. Children love it when parents talk to them on an equal footing, and do not flaunt their seniority and priority importance in the age and status category. Therefore, it is possible to eradicate the feeling of guilt in front of your own child through a simple, thorough conversation, where incorrect parental remarks and unreasonable punishments or statements made earlier towards the child will be distinguished.
Guilt before a friend
Another fairly interesting topic to consider is the question of how to get rid of guilt towards a friend. Of course, it all depends on the specific reason for the resentment of one comrade against another. The psychology of modern friendships says: never share the same tastes for women with a friend, never have financial affairs with him. Money and girls are two almost unforgivable and unforgivable topics in friendship, so everything related to this is hardly subject to discussion or forgiveness. As for other issues, they can always be settled with apologies, a bottle of good cognac, drunk together inas reconciliation and sincere friendly conversation. Then you won't have to kill yourself with guilt for a long time.
Guilt towards colleagues
It's a little harder to build a conciliatory chain with colleagues. Unfortunately, it often happens that people are potential rivals working in the same team. This entails a lot of intrigue and gossip directed against each other. Sometimes it happens that you communicate well with a work colleague, work on an equal footing, and you are nominated for his candidacy or promoted instead of him - and then for some reason you feel some kind of awkwardness in front of this person. In this case, how to get rid of guilt? The psychology of human relations considers this situation from the perspective of a standard picture, when an adequate “overboard” colleague objectively assesses the situation and accepts it as it is, while maintaining good communication with a successful fellow worker. If a person is biased, able to go into conflicts, finding out the reasons for such castling in personnel, therefore, there is no need to feel guilty in front of a colleague who is infantile and envious by nature.
Guilt to yourself
Sometimes disagreements arise even with one's own conscience. How do you deal with the guilt you feel towards yourself? Indeed, often people reproach themselves for the fact that “in that situation it was necessary to act like this”, and “in this case it was necessary to behave differently”. With yourself, perhaps, to agree easier than ever:because all thoughts, all arguments, all sensations sit only in their own subconscious.
General Guilt Relief Guidance
People often feel some kind of awkwardness or discomfort in relationships with each other. How to deal with guilt? The general recommendations of specialists in the field of psychology are mainly aimed at following three generalized key aspects:
- conducting a constructive conversation between the participants in the conflict situation;
- work with your subconscious and objectivity in assessing the circumstances regarding the scale of the problem;
- settlement of the state of affairs from the perspective of self-programming and setting up for a productive outcome, a silent problem hanging in the air.
In itself, the feeling of constant guilt is a negative background for a person's daily life. Only by getting rid of the burdens of their own oppression, people will be able to learn to live and function in the context of those priorities that they strive for, on which all their life hopes and goals are assigned. If you can not get rid of guilt on your own, a psychologist will come to the rescue. Do not refuse such support, because a specialist will really help you understand yourself.
