A person with a difficult character often suffers from those qualities that he developed during his life. He does not understand why people avoid him, and communication does not bring any pleasure or benefit. A complex character is manifested in sarcasm, conflict, envy and other features. However, even such people, having worked hard on themselves, will be able to achieve spiritual harmony.
Interaction of a complex personality with the world
It is not easy to deal with a person who has a difficult character. Such people often offend others, spoil their mood. Often they are avoided, as communication with them rarely brings joy. If you have to deal with such a person, the simplest solution is to communicate with him as little as possible. The main signs of a severe nature, signaling the need to reduce the number of contacts, are:
- Unwillingness to listen to the interlocutor.
- The feeling of being right even when there is no reason for it.
- Aggressiveness, conflict, quarrelsomeness.
- Prone to criticism and nit-picking.
- Depression, tendency to dramatization.
If it seems that there are only such people around, this is a reason to think: perhaps personal problems are not peculiar to them, but to the person himself.
Irritability
Excessive irritability is one of the main signs of a difficult character. One person will calmly behave while in a traffic jam. The other will honk wildly and scold everyone around him - both drivers and pedestrians. If something does not happen according to plan - someone steps on the foot, or the child brings a bad mark from school, this can turn into a real Apocalypse for such a person. Psychologists believe that irritability as an innate character trait is inherent in only 0.1% of the total population. In other cases, this quality is the result of psychological problems acquired during life.
Pickiness
Often people with a difficult character believe that truth is born in a dispute, but it will still not work to live in peace with other people. On the one hand, constructive criticism helps to become better and is beneficial. But such people forget that it is important not only what is said, but also how this information is presented.
By the way, phrases like "He's a complete idiot if he doesn't understand this" or "Her hands don't grow from there" are insults, not criticism. Helpful about itremember people with a difficult character.
The reason for such pickiness is often the peculiarities of upbringing in early childhood. A child who has had to listen to criticism from parents for any act gets used to such behavior. Often, in order to correct this character trait, one cannot do without long-term work with a psychotherapist.
Sarcastic
This trait of a difficult character is aimed at hurting other people, hurting their shortcomings. Moreover, this is always done in the most sophisticated terms and often in front of everyone. From pleasant jokes, the mood can never spoil. As for sarcasm, it causes only negative emotions. This phenomenon is a socially acceptable form of aggression. If a person cannot tell the other everything that he thinks about him, which makes him a target for his sarcastic statements.
Often the reason for sarcasm is the desire to attract the attention of others. Psychologists have found that this trait is characteristic of people who come from large families. It also affects those in whose families parents and other adults were not ashamed to communicate with each other through ridicule.
To overcome the craving for sharp slander, you need to think - why utter hurtful words and what is their ultimate goal? Indeed, in order to attract the attention of society, there are many more positive ways. If the statement of a colleague or relative seems to be sheer stupidity and makes you want to play a cruel joke, it is useful instead to ask the interlocutor a fewclarifying questions. For example: “Why do you think so?”, “Do you think things could be different?”. This will help to prove yourself a delicate and attentive person. This will allow the interlocutor to maintain self-esteem.
Tendency to dramatization of events, anxiety, depression
These qualities of people with a difficult character spoil the life of both themselves and those around them. After all, they also have to constantly listen to complaints and whining about how bad everything is. Neighbors have an expensive car, a friend has a prettier wife, and acquaintances have a child who managed to enter a prestigious university. The quality of life in the country is deteriorating, and wages are not growing; and the weather every day is somehow unimportant. This is approximately how these people think, infecting others with their pessimism.
To get rid of the habit of seeing everything in a dark light, it is useful to work on yourself. You need to develop the habit of seeing things in a more positive light. Also, such a person needs to do everything in his power to make his life pleasant and comfortable, bring joy.
I have a difficult temper: what should I do? General recommendations
Being a difficult person means dooming yourself to conflicts and loneliness. And the first step to overcome these difficulties is to recognize your shortcomings. People with this personality structure often tend to notice only the minuses of the people around them and not pay attention to their own. Even in a situation where others point out that they are wrong, they will continue to believe that it is theirs.misunderstood and want to offend.
Having a difficult character is not easy, because you need to learn to control yourself. In conflict situations, it is useful to muffle your own feelings for a while and take an interest in what others are saying about you now. Do not rush to be rude in response or make excuses: for starters, it is better to listen impartially to criticism of other people. This will allow you to understand what image has developed in their head and how they perceive such behavior. If this image is negative, it should be changed.
Manage emotions
But admitting your shortcomings is only the beginning of the struggle with a difficult character. Often people get stuck halfway through, making up all sorts of excuses for themselves. “It’s impossible to do anything, because I have such a character,” they say. This justification becomes universal for them. They use it in any conflict situation or to justify their own weaknesses.
A bad temper is not really a sentence. It develops throughout a person's life. It depends only on the individual himself where he directs his natural inclinations. For example, everyone knows that people of choleric temperament are often unrestrained and irritable. But even they are quite capable of controlling their own outbursts of aggression.
If anger robs you of the ability to think clearly, you should not seek to express it as soon as possible. On the contrary, you first need to slightly reduce the intensity of emotions. For this, it is useful to use techniquesrelaxation, deep breathing. Exercising and fitness helps to get rid of excess adrenaline. Martial arts are especially effective in this regard.
If the lover is a complex person
The heavy character of a man is a difficult test for every lady. At the beginning of a relationship, usually the shortcomings of the stronger sex do not appear as clearly as after the end of the candy-bouquet period. When the gentleman realizes that the girl no longer needs to be courted in order to win her favor, he gradually begins to show his true face.
In any couple, over time, people begin to learn about each other's shortcomings. But ordinary relationships are characterized by the fact that these shortcomings, with due efforts on the part of a man and a woman, can be overcome and leveled. For example, if a husband constantly scatters his socks, this is not critical for family life. A wife can put the box in another corner of the room and invite her fiancee to play volleyball with socks, trying to throw them right on target.
But if the spouse is stubborn and difficult, constantly provokes conflicts, God forbid raises a hand against his wife - here you should seriously think about the advisability of continuing the relationship and possible risks to he alth and life.
Other cases of heavy people
The same applies to those cases where the male boss has a complex character. After all, constant interaction with suchbeing a man at work is no better than having to put up with your husband's antics at home. Therefore, those who wish to maintain psychological balance are also advised to minimize communication with those people who have a difficult character, in whatever field of activity they have to deal with.
If the difficult person is a relative, here the problem requires more detailed consideration. It may be necessary to undergo joint psychotherapy in order to find common ground, to make communication softer. But one thing must be remembered: if a person himself does not want to take into account the interests of loved ones, then it is unlikely that he can be influenced by persuasion.
If the soul refuses to accept this person with his terrifying flaws, this is a signal that it is time to change your environment. Unfortunately, such people often have to be deleted from life, since they themselves rarely change.
