Once upon a time, lovers were called people who felt tenderness or passion for each other. Often these people did not even enter into a sexual relationship, they had enough warmth and tenderness that they gave to each other. Probably, this was the reason for the appearance of surprisingly touching poems and poems, songs and novels … But somehow, quite imperceptibly, the status of such a person moved from sublime and beautiful to more mundane and even forbidden. Instead of a spiritual bond, today only physical attraction remains between partners. But why do women have lovers? Out of boredom, out of curiosity, or out of a desire to fill your life with thrills and drama? There is no single answer to this question. But we will try to figure out what exactly pushes the representatives of the weaker sex to take such a risky step.
Statistics
Experts say: almost 60% of girls who had a connection outside their family experienced real feelings for their lovers, up tolove! But men who have connections on the side usually do not feel feelings for their mistresses. In addition, ladies who spend the whole day in the office are more likely to have an affair on the side, while women who work from home experience this desire much less often. By the way, 57% of working ladies met their lover for the first time at work.
Change in the understanding of women and men
Psychologists say: the average age of young ladies who initiate relationships on the side is usually about 30 years or more. Why do women have lovers? From the point of view of male and female psychology, this has completely different meanings - the appearance of someone on the side. For example, for men, going to the left is just a search for something new and unknown, an attempt to diversify their lives. In turn, women decide on adultery in the event that they lack something from the second half. These may be financial, emotional or other needs. And the main reason, according to psychologists, is despair! Just imagine, the husband may not even understand what is happening, because the woman who is cheating on him behaves impeccably. This is a wonderful hostess who takes care of herself, looks breathtakingly, her self-esteem rises, she is always in a good mood, and she practically does not saw her husband. Only now this is happening not because she has overcome some internal barriers in relations with her husband, but because she simply rejoices in an extramarital affair, from which she receives everything that is lacking in marriage with a partner.
Now let's look at the main reasons that can answer the question of why women have lovers.
Boredom
If a man does not devote time to his partner at all, is too passionate about his business, hobbies, communicating with friends or a car, his companion is unlikely to sit still. By the way, often romances on the side are started by married women who do not work, spend almost all their time at home or with friends. The more a man is immersed in his own life, the more likely it is that his wife at the same time, behind his back, cuckolds him. And every day the partners will be more and more moving away from each other. Lost intimacy will be extremely difficult to restore.
Sexual dissatisfaction
Speaking about why women get lovers, psychologists say: the monotony of sexual life almost always interferes with a happy marriage. Of course, passion subsides over time. Especially when people know each other well, are able to understand each other without words, the effect of novelty may disappear in their relationship. All movements are brought to automatism, while losing emotions. Of course, irritation accumulates between partners, the search for satisfaction begins, often on the side. In this case, the situation can be saved: for this, you need to arrange romantic dates for your half more often, try to diversify your sex life, take a fresh look at your other half. If a man is able to deliver to his wifepleasure, she is unlikely to think about cheating.
The desire to win
You may be surprised, but among the fairer sex there are many hunters who are interested in winning a new victim no less than men. Some ladies, say family relationship experts, need to check from time to time how their feminine charms work, to assert themselves in the role of a goddess who is able to throw crowds of men to her feet with just a glance. And most often they are not as interested in the result as they are in the process of hunting.
Curiosity
Why do married women have lovers? One more reason for this is banal curiosity. Do not forget that the forbidden fruit is always sweet, it makes relationships with another man several times more interesting, even if in fact the woman does not need to cheat on her lawful half.
Resolving financial issues
Perhaps this does not sound very nice, but the new gentleman is able to provide his beloved with material resources and expensive gifts, and the legal spouse does not always have such an opportunity. In addition, many husbands believe that a wife is their property, which is not worth spending money on. But a new lover will strive to keep a woman close to him, sometimes with the help of too generous gifts.
Domestic problems
Speaking about why married women have lovers, this aspect cannot be mentioned either. Quite often legal husbands consider theirhousehold burden is truly unbearable. Of course, taking out the trash can and washing the dishes after you are energy-intensive. In addition, the daily monotony of performing the same actions can tire even the strongest in spirit. However, women are sometimes also a burden to do household chores. But an affair on the side is far from all the trouble: it is exclusively romance and acuity. Such a love boat will not have to crash into everyday life.
Lack of support from spouse
Quite often, a lady decides on adultery when she realizes that her husband does not pay due attention to her and does not support her, increasingly ignores and takes all the actions of the second half for granted. This cannot be said about a man on the side: for him, a woman is always beautiful, the most intelligent, interesting, bright and unusual.
Thrill
Quite often, experts in the field of family relations say, spouses get mutual pleasure from love affairs on the side. Yes, yes, they share their feelings and new experiences with each other. Yes, some may find it completely unacceptable to have a new experience in bed on the side, and then bring it into marriage. But for some, this behavior is normal. There is a somewhat simplified version: the wife just wants to arouse jealousy in her husband, and for this she has to openly flirt with men - right in front of her legal spouse.
Revenge
Another reason why a woman takes a loverlies in the fact that her husband is also a walker. The person sincerely wants to let him know what it's like to not trust your partner, feel humiliated, constantly worry that someone might be better and more attractive.
Prestige
This item helps answer questions about why women have young lovers. Like men, in their environment, in order to be no worse than the rest, it is simply necessary to have an attractive young man nearby. This is a kind of indicator of the demand and attractiveness of the fairer sex. A young and handsome lover for a married woman who plays the difficult role of a socialite is needed at least to give her a special charm and charm.
Attraction or even sincere feelings
It also happens that a married lady decides to cheat because she actually feels sympathy or even love for another man. Perhaps his courtship makes her feel like a queen, the one, loved and unique.
Of course, there are many more reasons why a married woman has a lover, they are all completely diverse: emotional and sexual, social and everyday … Of course, a logical question arises: if a person is looking for something that is missing in the family, on the side, did she do everything in order to get what was missing within her own family? Has she ever talked to her husband about her needs and desires? Maybe he's just not able to satisfy her.requests? Or maybe the needs of a woman are too high? There are a lot of questions, almost all of them are rhetorical. At the same time, it should be understood that the choice of such persons often falls on unfree men. Why do women have married lovers? This helps to protect yourself from completely unnecessary showdowns and promises, claims from the man, because he himself is not free, he cannot demand anything from her. This allows the woman to feel as safe as possible. A married lover is unlikely to demand termination of relations with her husband, he will not begin to blackmail a woman. After all, he also has a "stigma in the cannon."
Should a woman take a lover?
Of course, this always comes with risks to the marriage. It takes a lot of effort to hide your new friend from family and friends. It is important to take into account that you will have to constantly monitor yourself and your appearance and behavior, portray passion when it subsides in marriage with your lawful husband, control the daily schedule so that meetings with your lover go unnoticed by the household. In addition, there is always a chance of catching, for example, a sexually transmitted disease, or getting pregnant from a new partner. Moreover, intimacy may not be as good as previously expected, and over time it will completely turn into the same routine that a married woman already has at home - in bed with her husband. Of course, the biggest risk is the possibility of destroying your own marriage. And often it is completely irreversible. Husbands are extremely rarely able to forgive an unfaithful spouse and accept her back after she secretlydated another man. In addition, if the husband forgives adultery, you should not forget that it is not so easy to wash this shameful stain from your reputation. The question of why a woman takes a lover will torment her husband for a long time.
Summing up
To change or not to change? Each woman must make her own choice. Of course, before that, it is important to understand the reason that pushes her to adultery. Perhaps family relationships can be improved simply by talking with your spouse about grievances and expectations. And sometimes the best way out is divorce. After it, with a clear conscience, you can start a relationship with anyone - without damage to your reputation.
