People are extremely mysterious creatures. They are similar in many ways, but at the same time, each has its own unique character, qualities and outlook on life. There are positive personalities who are happy with every flying snowflake, there are negative ones who always cry and yearn. But there is also such a type as an eternally dissatisfied person. It's just some kind of bunch of criticism and pessimism, and it's good if it's an outsider. But what if he is very close to you?
Small introduction
People spend their entire adult lives in search of happiness. This is nothing else than the basis of the existence of man as a species, in the spiritual, of course, sense. Someone earns millions for this, believing that the yachts and other luxury items bought on them will become a source of eternal joy, others are fanatically looking for their soul mate, thinking that only in marriage can one become happy. In general, everyone does what they think is necessary to feel completely satisfied with life, but in most cases, no one getsdesired. Why? Yes, because a person is so arranged - he is always dissatisfied with what he has. Last year I dreamed of a car - I bought it in this one. Now she seems old and bad to him, he criticizes her, dreams of a better one. No one guesses that it is enough just for a second to stop and praise yourself, be happy for yourself, because this will become the very cherished moment of happiness. Because of such a race, an eternally dissatisfied person does not even notice how his dreams come true, which, as he previously believed, should have become the source of his happiness.
Building a definition
Even in official psychology, no one calls an eternally dissatisfied person with one word. Just a term that would characterize this phenomenon has not yet been invented, despite its ubiquity. But among the people there is a very clear and justified “nickname” for such people, which, although it sounds fun and funny, has a very serious context. So, how to call a person who is always dissatisfied with himself, others, life and everything in the world in general? Grumpy. Just like in the fairy tale about Dunno, they call such personalities. They do not just mumble something under their breath, condemning this existence (although this is also the norm for them). Such people can openly criticize anyone and anything, they cannot be liked, cannot be pleased. The weather is always bad, even if the sun is shining, it is too bright. Food is always unders alted or overs alted, etc. And it turns out that the name of an eternally dissatisfied person is how he himself andleads - grouchy, quarrelsome, repulsive.
Leave, pass by
For some individuals, especially those who are followers, and not leaders by nature, being "captured" by an eternally dissatisfied person is a common thing. It doesn't have to be a relative or family member - it could be a co-worker, a neighbor, or some other relative stranger. Like hypnosis, such malleable personalities succumb to the eternal critical stories of grumblers, their constant curses and discussions. They do not want and they are not interested, but they listen to what they say, and gradually turn into the same. The only advice that can be given in such a situation is to get over yourself and pass by. It is better to choose for yourself a friend who is more positive and cheerful than a grumbler who will certainly not feed you with a charge of vivacity and creativity.
Close grumblers
Alas, almost every family or in the circle of close people has its own grumbler. It is already more difficult to turn away from him, because this is the person who is dear to you, and you don’t want to lose touch with her at all. But sometimes there is no strength or desire to endure attacks and eternal bouts of negativity, so you have to avoid unnecessary meetings in every possible way, translate topics, pretend that you don’t hear. The most dangerous thing is that some grumblers can be announcers, especially if they are parents. In such cases, the situation is heating up to the limit, you need to take certain measures. So before we figure out how to deal with perpetually dissatisfied people, let's look inside the problem and tryroot it out.
Tell me about your fears
Fear is the most powerful destructive force that feeds on the energy and common sense of all people. To overcome your nightmares means to free yourself from the shackles, to become a more peaceful and free person. But the task is extremely difficult, so most people live in constant anxiety. It is this state that turns a full-fledged and cheerful person into an eternally dissatisfied person who both grumbles under his breath and openly criticizes. What fears drive us and turn us into grumblers?
- Fear of being rejected by society. That is, the opinion of others is important for a person, if they do not respect him, this is a reason to hate everything around.
- Fear of being unloved. Why live if no one will appreciate and love you just for what you are?
- Anxiety that something bad might happen and ruin everything.
One of these three fears can lead in any form, or maybe they all feed each other in tandem, thus destroying the personality.
Forms of Manifestation
Well, now let's see exactly how these fears look and what qualities they develop in the affected person:
- Vulnerability. All words, even compliments, are perceived with a minus sign. She is told that she looks good today, and she asks: "Did you mean I looked bad yesterday?".
- Categorical. Even the most innocent actions of people are considered as universal evil. guest who is notpraised the hostess's cake - an uncouth brute!
- Ultimate self-doubt. A person simply cannot move along the path of life, as he is afraid to take a step to move closer to his dream, he blames himself for inaction. Vicious circle breeds eternal discontent.
- Demanding. This feature is most inherent in parents who did not take place in life. They make children "superpersonalities" so that they can be proud of them, demanding the impossible.
- Pessimism. There are no comments here. Even before the most successful and attractive event, pessimists will tell you how and why it will go wrong.
- Emotional retreat. It borders on self-doubt, but manifests itself in a slightly different way. Such people always keep back that “information was not used against them”, they are superficial in both work and relationships. When things don't work out for them, they grumble.
Remember and analyze
In one of the above forms, perhaps you recognized someone from your relatives or acquaintances. But do not rush to label them and call them grumpy pessimists, grumpy tyrants, etc. To begin with, carefully re-read the description of each form again and remember what became for a person a "starting point" for such behavior. Perhaps the vulnerable girl had been greatly offended earlier, telling her that she was good for nothing, ugly, no one was friends with her, and even her parents did not have special hopes. And the pessimists - they couldpreviously repeatedly "run into" trouble, and their current behavior is a shield against yet another unjustified expectations. Therefore, if you care about a perpetually dissatisfied person, try to delve into his past and find the root of the problem.
Let's talk heart to heart
Of course, you can't fix a grumbler personally, even if it's your mother or brother. Remember that a person can only help himself, no "therapy" and other techniques will be effective until he understands the essence of the problem and does not burn with the desire to solve it. All you can do is push him to this denouement. With a family member who has similar negative qualities, try to have a heart-to-heart talk. What worries him so much and why he speaks so negatively about you, negatively perceives all the words, sees everything in black. By remembering everything and sharing it with you, firstly, the grumbler will get rid of emotional baggage, secondly, he will begin to rethink the situation, and thirdly, he will understand what kind of fear drives him. Often people of the old school are dependent on someone else's opinion, even if it is the opinion of a stranger from the elevator. Therefore, they grumble at their children, scolding for mischievous behavior, apologizing out of the blue for a smile, for a question, etc. If you stop thinking about what others will say even for a second, life will become easier.
Eradicating fears
This is already a task that only the owner of his own fear can cope with. From outside himonly an experienced psychologist can help, who will direct you in the right direction and show the absurdity of a particular fear. But the key point remains "the desire of the patient to be treated." When a person begins to realize that fear simply devours him and takes away his strength, he will weaken his influence. When he realizes that because of this anxiety he cannot achieve what he wants, become better, happier, more successful, the fear will be completely dispelled.
What not to do
In all cases, without exception, people who are eternally dissatisfied with life are drowning people who scream and beg you for help. With all this, they can be especially aggressive, and when you start to "rescue" them, they will do their best to repel you and your proposals. In such situations (if a person is dear to you), in no case stop fighting for him. Living with clenched teeth and enduring his eternal negative attacks is a destructive policy both for him and for you. Remember that psychologists know about eternally dissatisfied people, they know how to help them and guide them in the right direction. But first of all, you must, on the rights of your near and dear, persuade the grumbler to solve his main problem.
Conclusion
So we figured out why people are always dissatisfied with themselves, their loved ones, life and everything around them. Fear is the main parasite of the human soul. He not only feeds on her energy, but is also an obstacle on the creative, professional and love path. Find the causes of grouchiness, find out what fear they are caused by, and "shoot" right atgoal. Remember that you need to constantly work on yourself and on your loved ones, otherwise our inner demons will completely eat us up.
