"What should I do if my son drinks?" - many mothers complain, in front of which a smart adult man turns into an alcoholic. This bad habit comes to one of the family members and affects all household members. No one likes to see a person in the house who is constantly in an inadequate state. This is especially painful for a mother who gave birth and raised her son with the hope of help and care from him, and waited only for grief and disappointment.
To find a way out of this situation, you need to understand the reasons for this behavior and heed the advice of experienced professionals.
When the son turned into an alcoholic
Relatives and acquaintances often hear mother's desperate requests: “My son drinks, what should I do? Help! One can sympathize with her, since the native blood, on whichgreat hopes, deliberately ruining his life and he alth. He ceases to be interested in familiar things, does not go to school or work, does nothing at home. He reacts aggressively to comments and reproaches or simply walks away from the conversation. Since a person needs to constantly consume alcohol, he needs material means. And he finds a way out by taking valuables from home, or sinking into unimaginable debts, which then have to be repaid in the same way.
The height of alcoholism comes when the son drinks and does not work. What to do with this misfortune, not only the mother does not know, but also everyone who lives next to this person. There are no specific prescribed actions that will guide the drinking son. This may depend on his character or circumstances that will affect his future behavior. But there is one factor that unites all people who are addicted to addiction - this is a change in attitude towards alcoholic beverages. In the future, this addiction will turn into a severe addiction or stop at a stage that can be successfully cured.
Source of all problems
To understand what to do if your son drinks, you need to figure out how it all started. Since any holiday is accompanied by the presence of alcoholic beverages, the young man also tries not to stand out. He tries alcohol, but does it with caution, noticing significant changes in his feelings. They are:
- fun;
- lightness;
- sociability (a person quickly finds a common language withsurrounding);
- great mood;
- lack of shyness and shyness;
- exacerbation of feelings and desires.
Under the influence of strong drinks, all problems seem small and insignificant. After exposure to alcohol, a person remains in a comfortable state for himself and wants to repeat it again, since the level of pleasant sensations decreases slightly. So there is a gradual increase in the dose, which subsequently becomes huge.
The concept of withdrawal symptoms
At the stage of getting used to the constant use of alcohol, an abstinence syndrome (withdrawal syndrome) occurs when a person feels bad without alcohol and wants to drink to improve his condition. Sometimes, after excessive drinking, the guy has a desire to get drunk (this is a natural reaction of the body to the action of ethanol), sometimes he refuses to re-take alcohol. But after a while he drinks again in order to return to the state he likes. The mother has a question what to do with a drinking son, if there are no strong binges and excessive intoxication, but there is a constant use of alcohol. The young man is increasingly applied to the bottle with or without it. He can afford to drink after a hard day at work and on weekends. The state of absolute sobriety becomes a rare phenomenon, and constant intoxication is included in the habitual way of life. So a person goes into the stage of alcoholism (this can last for years, but still lead to a sad result).
Reasonsoccurrence of alcoholism
Son drinks - what should a mother do who does not find a place for herself, trying to save her blood from addiction? To do this, you need to understand the causes of bad habits. This is of great importance, since there is a chance to correct the psychological state of a person and return him to a normal life. The main reasons include the following aspects:
- wrong upbringing (excessive severity or excessive guardianship);
- there are drunk people around my son, and he just keeps the company going;
- problems at work or lack thereof;
- unsettled personal life, loneliness;
- family problems;
- lack of goals in life;
- material difficulties;
- problems with relatives;
- housing problems;
- prolonged melancholy or depression;
- the consequences of a stressful situation.
Signs of alcoholism
Sometimes the onset of alcoholism is very difficult to see, especially if the son does not live near his mother. He can allow himself to "relax", being alone or in the company of friends, and relatives will not know how often this happens. A mother should understand what to do with a drinking son if the following signs are present in his behavior:
- reluctance to communicate, the desire to be less visible to the mother;
- increased irritability and emotionality;
- decrease in memory and mental abilities;
- complete and inexplicablelack of logic in his actions;
- late return home or absence at night (in the case of boys);
- frequent sudden fever, nausea, malaise.
Advice from mother psychologists at the initial stage of offspring's alcoholism
It is very important to notice the moment when the son started drinking. What to do in this case, experienced specialists will tell. They believe that at this stage, prevention and rapid response are sure to yield positive results. The main thing is to stop the development of alcoholism. To do this, proceed as follows:
- try to establish a trusting relationship with your son and try to find out the reason that prompted him to take alcohol;
- it is necessary to exclude moralizing, you need to try to talk calmly, by all means make it clear that you can be counted on;
- it is recommended to definitely express your dissatisfaction, but do it loyally and tactfully, without raising your tone;
- if you don’t know what to do if your son drinks, you need to try to offer him an alternative to drinking in the form of new activities or hobbies, to awaken in him the desire for new goals;
- if this is a teenager, control his communication (meet or ask the guy to tell about his friends);
- in a full family, it is recommended to give the main role to the father, who should involve his son in common activities and talk with him more often on male topics;
- mother needs to do everything for her son to try to help her. Moreover, the initiative should come from the guy.
Recommendations from psychologists on how to behave a mother with an alcoholic son
Situations are not uncommon when, for some reason, the initial stage, which could prevent alcoholism, is missed. Everything cleared up when it turned out that the son was drinking. What is a mother to do? The advice of experienced professionals will help you figure out if everything can be fixed on your own. To do this, you need to do the following steps:
- Realize the reality. Mom needs to understand and realize what is really happening. Do not expect that closing your eyes to the situation, you can fix it. Perhaps others have noticed your problem for a long time, and you all pretend that nothing is happening. It is necessary to accept reality and act like an adult who gave life to his child.
- Call the offspring to account. “My son drinks heavily, what should I do?” - Mom utters these words only in her thoughts, but in fact she tries to indirectly support him in this behavior. We are talking about those cases when parents justify the actions of the offspring to others, hide the truth and lie on his behalf. It is necessary to give the son the opportunity to be responsible for his behavior and actions.
- Set boundaries. It is necessary to clearly define your boundaries of behavior and stop supporting the image of your son in front of others. Let him know that you no longer intend to lie and cover up his misbehavior. The guy will definitely oppose this and begin to issue his ultimatums, trying in every possible way to manipulate you. No need to let him do this, but clearly stand on his principles. Otherwise, you will turn into a codependent person, and the two of you will need help already.
- Ask others for help. If this is an incomplete family and the son drinks, what should the mother do? The advice of a psychologist will help to understand this situation. Do not forget that there are many good people around who are ready to help. There is no need to hide the problem, you need to find teachers, mentors, bosses, friends or other people who have authority over the offspring. By turning to them for help and acting together, you can overcome this addiction much faster and easier.
- Be guided by actions. You should not believe the words of an addicted person, since his psyche has already undergone changes. He can convince you that he will do the right thing, and at this time he will believe his promises. But the craving for alcohol becomes irresistible when it comes to drinking or not drinking. Therefore, one should never believe, in fact, a sick person whose consciousness is clouded. You need to be guided solely by his actions.
- Caring for yourself. The son drinks, but what should the mother do? The number one advice from psychologists is to take care of yourself. This has nothing to do with selfishness and egocentrism, excessive pride and indifference to your own child. It is about loving yourself as a person who has the right to be happy. You need to know your worth, not allow yourself to be manipulated, not to allow blackmail in your address. Only a strong person can help another,This is especially true for a mother and her child. Otherwise, two will need this help.
Acts forbidden for a mother
The question of what to do if the son drinks, we have already discussed. Experienced psychologists recommend paying attention to what, on the contrary, is prohibited. This information will be very useful for all parents who care about the he alth of their children and really want to rid them of this bad habit. You need to do the following:
- do not take the problems of a drinking person on yourself, give him the opportunity to be responsible for his actions;
- don't make empty promises, be sure to stick to your word;
- do not show loy alty to alcohol, it must be categorically negative;
- do not indulge in empty conversations with an alcoholic, each conversation should have a logical conclusion;
- do not drink alcohol in the presence of an alcoholic;
- do not hide from the drinker objective information about his illness;
- no need to try to patronize an addicted person, solving all problems for him and destroying the consequences of his inappropriate behavior;
- do not categorically blame your son and voice your claims and reproaches;
- no need to blame yourself, you should direct your efforts to solve the problem;
- don't expect to be able to control the behavior of an alcoholic.
Steps of addiction treatment
An answer to the question: "What to do with a drinking son?" - there will be a call tolongsuffering and painstaking work on the normalization of his condition. There are three stages of treatment, each of which should by no means be ignored. These are the following components:
- Detoxification. This is a medical removal of toxins from the body with the help of injections and droppers. The duration of the procedure is three to five days.
- Rehabilitation. This is the direct treatment of the patient by one of the following methods. Lasts up to three months.
- Post-rehabilitation support. These are visits to special groups and psychological assistance from relatives and close people to help an alcoholic consolidate a positive result of treatment.
Methods of treating alcoholism
If the son drinks every day, what should his relatives do in this case? Experienced specialists offer the following medical and psychotherapeutic procedures:
- Psychotherapeutic procedures. They give a short-term effect (about a year) and consist in laying a negative attitude towards alcohol consumption.
- Hypnosis. As a result of this method, a conditioned reflex is laid on a subconscious level in a person to block cravings for alcoholic beverages.
- Coding. This method is based on instilling in a person an aversion to alcohol and fear of the consequences of violating the prohibition. The coding effect lasts for a maximum of three years.
- Drug treatment. If the son drinks, the advice on what to do will be treatment with medicines. This method is based on blocking a person's craving for alcohol and badhow you feel after taking it.
- Injections. This is a drug treatment in which a certain dose of drugs is administered intravenously or intramuscularly to the patient. Drugs are absolutely harmless to the body until they interact with alcohol. This can result in heart palpitations or even respiratory arrest.
- Implantation. This method involves sewing special capsules under the skin. As a result of interaction with alcohol, drugs cause unpleasant symptoms: choking, nausea, vomiting, hot flashes.
- Combined procedures. The most reliable method that allows you to create a double encoding (for example, hypnosis and drug treatment). The method is very effective, but not ideal, because it also cannot give a lifetime guarantee.
If, having listened to all the recommendations, you could not correct the situation, you cannot do without the qualified help of specialists. Even if the son is against treatment, every effort must be made to place him in a hospital. There are no hopeless situations, and you will definitely succeed.
