How to get rid of envy of people: advice from psychologists and effective techniques

2024 Author: Miguel Ramacey | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 06:11

A person needs society, and as a result, when communicating with other people, he compares himself with them. Often the result of this is envy. We know from childhood that this is a bad feeling. But why is this so? What is the evil of this emotion and how to get rid of the feeling of envy? Psychologists and religious leaders give advice.

Basic concepts

It is generally accepted that envy is a manifestation of anger and annoying feelings towards other people who own something that the object experiencing this emotion does not have. In most cases, people affect the material aspect, but there are also those who are unpleasant for other people's talents, appearance, personal life, and even habits, if they are at least somehow better. But in fact, it doesn’t really matter what exactly became the subject of this destructive emotion, the main thing is that it does not bring happiness, satisfaction, or any other benefit.

Many don't even payattention, how they succumb to this stream of negativity. And he, in turn, slowly takes away their strength, inspiration, and even has a bad effect on their he alth. If you do not look for ways to get rid of envy and anger, then over time it will turn into a snowball, spoiling our relations with the team, making us insincere, unable to express warmth and positive, taking away the opportunity to enjoy life. According to psychologists, it is not enough to try to eradicate this emotion, first of all, you need to find the cause of its appearance and start eradicating it.

Self-dissatisfaction

Any person, at least at the subconscious level, is aware of what shortcomings he has and what mistakes he makes. But if it has come to the point that he ignores them, does nothing, and the success of others provokes an increase in these negative emotions in him, then it's time to sound the alarm and look for how to get rid of envy of people.

Because the person experiencing this destructive emotion is lazy and always looking for easy ways, he chooses to be annoyed and try to belittle the one who serves as a background for him to reflect his inaction and failure. This is how envy is born, from the desire to justify one's inaction.

There are those who speak their negativity out loud and those who do it silently. The latter do not show a violent reaction only because they have already realized that this is not approved by society, but have not yet found the strength to change something in themselves.

Constantly comparing yourself to others

The same psychological defense provokes constant comparisonyourself with someone. As long as a person sees people like him in his environment, he has nothing to worry about, everything is fine, he is no worse than others, and you can continue to live on the thumb. But if suddenly someone corresponding in age and we alth with great privileges in life appears in the environment, the envious person immediately begins to look for how to belittle this person.

Instead of understanding how to get rid of envy of people, he spreads gossip and weaves intrigues so as not to feel flawed against his background. In addition, as long as there are no such threats on the horizon, you can safely lead a lazy and unhurried lifestyle, do not change anything, do not strive for anything, because everything is already there, no worse than others. Meanwhile, laziness, inner passivity and negativity eat a person from the inside.

Ignorance of your desires

From childhood, parents, school and society instill in us a generally accepted framework of what is good and what is bad, what is success and what is failure. And those who give in under pressure and accept the patterns as truth are unhappy and have nothing left to do but envy. After all, one's own strengths and creativity are not enough to find new ways and solutions, and going with the flow, one cannot achieve great heights.

How to get rid of envy of people when it seems that a vacation abroad is good, and a trip to the country to dig a garden is a life failure? What to do if you once wanted to write books, but your parents convinced that nothing would come of it, and only a “real” job could make you happy and successful, and as a result, a crazy race for generally acceptedgood things with minimal resources and no inspiration leads to nothing?

Sincere desires are strangled in childhood, and it is not known what can bring joy to life now. Therefore, a person follows the path of least resistance, that is, he takes as a measure of happiness what others have, but he does not have. And it doesn't matter what it is - an apartment with a car or a successful creative career. The main thing is that he did not dare to walk the path in order to get what he wanted, and now, not knowing the complexity of the path, he is simply furious that someone has it. Moreover, he does not care at all about the nuances, for example, that a famous actor had to not talk to angry parents for years, or that a brand new car will have to pay interest on a loan for another ten years. The main difference is that they found the courage to go their own way, but he did not, but to recognize and see a reminder of this is completely unbearable for him. And the only way here, how to get rid of the feeling of envy, is to gain courage and go your own way, taking risks, protesting, achieving your own. Inaction will not lead to success, and other people's achievements will only corrode more and more from the inside.

Inability to appreciate one's own

Many do not live in the moment at all, perceiving envy as an incentive, something good. It seems to them that this emotion helps them achieve more in life, and they absolutely do not think about the question of how to get rid of envy of people, psychological methods seem to them meaningless and irrational. But in reality, everything is completely different. The person is inin a state of constant tension, having received something, he seeks out the achievements of others in order to continue his path of achievements and acquisitions. But once he gets something, he forgets about it.

For example, thoughtless shopping for fashion clothes: a friend has new boots and I need them, and it doesn’t matter that this is already the tenth pair, and it will be in the closet, it’s not even scary that the size is wrong, the main thing is to get this thing. But in fact, its usefulness ends as soon as a person receives satisfaction from the achievement. Do you want to know how to get rid of the feeling of envy in this case? Learn to appreciate what you have, to enjoy life here and now. You can’t earn all the money, you can’t buy all the things, and what’s the use of them if they are needed only for the sake of a second of joy, and it takes a lifetime to get them?

Public exposure

We all have our environment, and it imposes on us certain limits, responsibilities, so that we comply with them. For example, a girl lives a full life for herself, enjoys it, but has not yet found her life partner. And everyone around is constantly wondering when she will get married, sympathize with her, empathize. And over time, it begins to seem to her that she really needs it, and the more they say, the stronger the desire arises. She becomes unhappy, but she has neither the strength nor the inspiration to solve the problem. After all, this is not her true desire, but only a need imposed by society.

And withover time, she begins to envy her married friends, not even realizing that the main reason for irritation is not the absence of a companion, but the opportunity not to hear an obsessive question that is already tired and infuriating. How to get rid of envy of people in this case? You need to understand yourself and learn to distinguish the social framework from the true desires and needs. And do not pay attention to the advice and sympathy of others, because if you are happy and without something that others have, then there is no point in becoming unhappy because of constant reminders of this.

Vanity

There is a type of envious people who, by virtue of self-love, the one and only, perceive other people's successes as injustice. In their opinion, any good that did not fall on them went to another person by pure chance, there was an incorrect distribution, but in fact it was they who deserved to have something. Moreover, they are sincerely convinced that they suffer and work much more than others, even if they actually do nothing.

Method of disposal

The very first advice from a psychologist on how to get rid of envy is to start searching for your true desires, which will make you happy, not society. What will bring you joy, not recognition of your greatness. If you understand what you really want and try to achieve it, then you simply won’t have time and energy for envy. But be prepared for the fact that things and benefits that previously caused you this destructive feeling may lose their significance and become completely uninteresting for you. The most important thing is to developthe courage to go your own way, even if it does not meet the generally accepted standards of happiness and success in your environment.

You need to stop communicating with people whose lifestyle is directly in contact with envy. After all, they are not interested in how to get rid of envy, the psychology of such people will begin to differ from yours, and believe me, they will do everything so that you leave the idea of changing, because now it is you who will become the object of envy. Let there be those in your environment who can sincerely support you without feeling vulnerable because of your victories. If everything is done correctly, then envious people will leave you, it will become unbearable for them to be around, and interesting and successful people will understand that you have changed and will become interested in your company.

Are you wondering how to get rid of envy of people? Stop following other people's successes and realize that you have a lot of things too. You need to learn to appreciate yours, because you yourself chose it and brought it into your life. Think: what if tomorrow it goes somewhere, disappears, what then? And if you really see your own, do not ignore it, then it will not go anywhere from you.

The energy you spend on envy is colossal, and if you translate it into something useful, it will significantly improve the quality of your life. After all, if you look closely, then this emotion is a force, however, destroying, both the object of negative emotions and yourself. You need to recognize that you are a strong and purposeful person, so you should not look at others. This is one of the secrets of how to get rid of female envy. Spend your energy on yourself, and not on irritation from the success of others, because while you are worried, you only aggravate your situation, not improve it.

You need to take a closer look at what you envy. Look at the situation with a sober mind, without negativity. Is everything really as wonderful as it looks at first glance? And how exactly did the person get this benefit? Perhaps he made some sacrifices for him, and you are not ready to pay such a price for such an unimportant object. For example, one friend earns herself and does not depend on anyone, and the second is provided by her husband. Moreover, the second does practically nothing, but receives dozens of times more cash. But if you look closely, the first one can stop talking to any man who insults her, and the second one is forced to endure unprecedented humiliations so as not to lose her "purse". And if the first one notices this, then she will never agree to get into such a situation due to her character. Most likely, she even had many opportunities to live like this, but she stopped any attempts to humiliate herself.

Orthodoxy: how to get rid of envy of people

In everyday life, people divide envy into white and black, but the Bible is very firm on this issue. She classifies this emotion as one of the deadly sins. This is recorded in the Old Testament, the letter of the Apostle Paul and in the Ten Commandments of Moses. The Church considers envy to be the desire of a person to possess what does not belong to him. And it does not matter what it is about, about material values or spiritual qualities.

How to get rid of envy? Need to understand thatGod has given everyone exactly as much as they need, and no more. And the desire to take possession of other people's goods is not a good feeling. After all, it is completely contrary to God's plan. Only by following his will can we gain the necessary experience and become worthy. The clergy insist on the idea that each of us has enough strength, resources and material goods to live this life in accordance with God's plans.

How to get rid of the evil eye and envy yourself

This emotion corrodes not only the person who experiences it, but also the object of his irritation. After all, in a fit of feelings, in addition to negative perception, a person can move on to action. Psychologists in this case advise not to tell envious people about your successes, and if you have already done this, then also tell about the difficulties and failures in your life. You can puzzle an envious person by asking him for advice or help.

If you are faced with outright manifestations of envy, in no case be fooled by a provocation, the more negativity and aggression you show, the more you will ignite the conflict and aggravate the situation. Especially if your opponent is an energy vampire, he will only enjoy your anger, perhaps this was his main goal - to erase the happiness on your face and unbalance you. And to save yourself from the evil eye, pin a pin on your clothes, only so that it is not visible to others. This is an old method that has never let anyone down.