"Envy is a bad feeling," we often joke and are unaware of how destructive it can be. However, modern science and technology are developing by leaps and bounds. And their main motor is competition - the sister of envy. Why is she taking over us? How to get rid of it? Why are we jealous? Where and when is this feeling born? We will discuss this and more below.
Definition
Envy is a feeling of inadequacy to the object of envy in general or in certain aspects. The desire to get what you don’t have, but your neighbor has, pushes people to a variety of actions and causes emotions and is physically felt as a burning sensation in the chest and in the frontal part of the head. This vice gives rise to strong emotions and, not knowing how to direct them in the right direction, you can lead your life to collapse. But by taking control of them, you can carve and reshape yourself to a state that surpasses the object of envy. This is a positive quality of thislack.
The Seven Deadly Sins
As you may have guessed, the feeling of envy is one of the top 7 deadly sins. Like the other six, it creates a dark atmosphere in the soul and makes it impossible to enjoy what is happening, enjoy life, think soberly, pulls other vices.
Envy is an evil that provokes a state of despondency and despair. But it is also a mortal sin. There is a good phrase that vividly characterizes the whole essence of envious people: "A person does not need much to be happy, the main thing is that others have less."
There is a parable about a selfish and envious man, its essence is as follows: one of the Greek kings was interested to know which of these people is worse. He said that they could ask for anything, but the second would get twice as much as the first asked. There was no answer. Then the king turned to the envious one, and he asked … to gouge out one of his eyes, so that the selfish one would be left without both.
Everything comes from childhood
So where could such a truly terrible vice come from? Children, who were given their more successful peers as an example, limited their opportunities in every possible way, humiliated them, did not give them the opportunity to throw out their positive and negative emotions, did not organize their personal space or categorically invaded it, talked about life as a terrible test without truth and justice, taught to poverty, condemned we alth, did not allow sharing their happiness with the world in order to avoid envy, even if they gave a lot of material goods, but no personal rights to them(here's an expensive doll for you, but don't take it into the yard, don't show it to your girlfriends, don't spoil it, don't get it dirty; it turns out that this doll is what it is, what it isn't). Such individuals are the fastest to fall into envious despondency.
If a child does not have a sense of his own usefulness, need, envy grows in him in most cases. Why is it so important to make it clear to the child that he is worth something, that his opinion is listened to? In order for him to grow up as a full-fledged member of society. Full-fledged people are happy, and happiness is not the absence of all problems, but the ability to quickly solve them at a high level. Happy people cannot be envious. A priori, they cannot, because they live in a different, more correct reality.
If a child knows from childhood that he is not worthy of all other people, he involuntarily begins to envy everyone, because he does not have what the rest have: the necessary knowledge, beautiful clothes, expensive accessories, villas, gadgets and etc. Even having reached a certain level, he will not become happy, as there will be someone better, more successful or more beautiful. And so the feeling of envy develops into a lifestyle and pulls other vices with it. Everything is interconnected.
White and black envy
There is such a thing as "white envy". In Islam and some Christian theologians, it is interpreted as permissible. Although we have already said that envy, anger is bad.
When you envy in a black way, you involuntarily wish something bad for a person. And white envy is when "a toad strangles", but there is no negative message.
Someone interprets it as joy for the neighbor, as sharing his joy. The world, apparently, has deteriorated so much that it is not possible to believe in the sincere joy of your neighbor for your successes.
No, definitely such people still exist, but why does the bad word "envy" appear here?
Let's say your dream is to visit Miami. You strive for it in every possible way, save money, select outfits, and you probably know that sooner or later you will go there, as everything goes to this. Suddenly find out that your friend and girlfriend are already there and posting photos on Instagram? At this moment, if you are not a completely lost individual, envy in a white way.
If you do nothing to achieve your dream, sit back and complain about life, then such a situation can give rise to black envy in you.
You need to be able to switch. After all, switching the "lever" from white to black envy depends on ourselves, on the efforts, beliefs and unspoken laws that we follow.
Rejoice for you, but envy in your soul
This is a very common phenomenon among well-mannered people. The feeling of wanting to kill for such a brazen success is hidden behind a forced smile that is very easy to recognize.
When a person rejoices from the heart, the whole face smiles: the mouth, the eyes, and the cheeks. If only the mouth expands, and the eyes and cheeks are motionless, this can be called an insincere grimace, and if only the eyes remain unchanged, then the person is trying to overcome negative sensations, but they take over and absorb him.
Further development of events depends only on education and work on oneself. However, even carefully getting rid of the feeling of envy manually, although it is the best outcome, still takes a lot of vitality. But there is a way out. It is better to rid yourself of envy once and for all. This will help you find peace of mind and happiness.
Envy and jealousy
Jealousy can be called a synonym for envy, since both are generated by pride. But they have a fundamental difference: after all, you envy what you do not have or cannot have, but you are jealous of what belongs to you.
If during the preparation for the competition you were sure that the first place belongs to you, but suddenly someone else won, at that moment you will feel the emotion of jealousy. If this feeling does not fade away soon, it may develop into a stationary feeling of envy.
The nature of envy
To a greater or lesser extent, everyone is subject to this shortcoming, which is why so little is said about envy. And the one who most often pronounces this word even in the phrase "I am not an envious person", "I do not envy anyone" or "I have nothing to envy", is most susceptible to this vice. This is because other mechanisms and ways to hide this flaw are powerless.
Envy can manifest itself as a momentary emotion and fade away - this is normal, because we are all living people. I saw a new beautiful dress at a friend’s, shuddered, got upset, and then I came to my senses and continue to be friends without hatred for her and not wanting anythingbad is the norm. Even if this feeling was not at all white, but positive human qualities immediately suppressed it. Religion would not justify this, but for modern society it is quite acceptable.
If a spark of envy, a negative emotion develops into a long-term feeling that wears you from the inside, it is much more difficult to overcome, it is this that incinerates a person from the inside.
Gender envy
In this case, it would be appropriate to draw a gender line, since male envy and female envy are somewhat different. Girls are more jealous of external beauty and success among men, and a strong half of humanity - career achievements or skills.
If we talk about who is more prone to this vice, men or women, then the answer will be unequivocal - women. Why?
Because the life position of girls is passive, and the guys are active. Even if a lady begins to act actively, this is going beyond the rules, even if this is considered the norm in the modern world. That is, women act as an object that is evaluated, it is difficult for them to actively influence the situation.
Men are judged by their ability to conquer, by their perseverance. They have the right to actively influence the situation and are even obliged to do so.
However, inter-gender envy also exists when a girl and a guy start fighting on the same battlefield. This can be observed among people in creative professions, as art sometimes blurs gender boundaries.
To make everyone jealous
We have already decided that envy is badfeeling. But there are people who enjoy being envied and even upset when their deliberate efforts to provoke this negative emotion don't work.
That's not all, sometimes people envy others because they are envied. It turns out that if you cause a feeling of envy - you are a full-fledged person, and if not, then you are worth nothing? "Disorder" - many people think, and do things that do not bring them any happiness. And nothing but a feeling of envy from the side.
Spending your life so that you are not judged, but rather envied, breaks the moral boundaries of the generation of mankind, which is measured in billions of people.
What could be worse than living an unhappy life to spite others? The envy of a girlfriend or boyfriend can once and for all break relationships and break destinies, is it worth it?
Social networks are envy provocateurs
"Social networks are designed to connect with friends and family," you say. Yes, this is partly true, they may have been invented for this good purpose, but the human essence reshaped them to support their ego.
After all, the content that the user posts on his page is regulated by him. And no one wants to show their worst side, their weaknesses, paint their failures (not counting the total grumblers who revel in this). On the pages we see only the best, refined, retouched, selected and exaggerated.
Other users who do not haveopportunities to observe this person every day, we are sure that his life consists of holidays alone. In contrast, bright flashes of the biography of others darken their own existence even more. The feeling of inferiority intensifies, the person is depressed.
Those who have tasted the remote manipulation of people get excited and post more and more envious photos and do not notice that their life revolves only around the pictures, and the mood depends on their quality and the number of likes. Thus they become hostages of envy.
Etymology of the word "envy"
Let's understand its meaning. It is believed that the word envy nevertheless came from seeing. Allegedly, to see beyond the limits of what is permitted, more than it should be. Perhaps the word comes from the "evil eye" that sees.
How to get rid of?
Envy is inherent in everyone, but in some it manifests itself as an emotion, a flash, while in others it sharpens every day for years and eats up mental and physical he alth.
Both cannot be justified, but let it flare up and go out rather than rule a person all his life. This deficiency is best and most effectively de alt with at a very early stage.
- You need to appreciate yourself for who you are, do not give in to the efforts of others to lower your self-esteem or express yourself at your expense.
- It's good to listen to the advice of elders, but you can't stupidly follow them. If you do not want to enter the Faculty of Law or feel that you will not become a highly qualified specialist in this field, then there is no point in breakinglife.
- You need to set goals of various sizes and achieve them.
- Be happy.
- Become a master at something.
- Don't compare yourself to others.
- Do not justify yourself and do not reproach for trifles.
- Learn to replace envy with admiration.
Admiration instead of envy
As one step from hatred to love, and from envy to admiration. It is best if such a mechanism is brought up from childhood, then the child grows up as a full-fledged member of society, knows his own worth, does not give offense, and, most importantly, this poisonous feeling does not eat him up from the inside.
Does Masha have a new doll? Be happy for her, because it would be nice for you if your girlfriend is happy for you in this case. Imagine that Masha is you. If she's happy, then you should be happy too. Are you girlfriends?
Petya got 5 in math, but you didn't? It's just that he knows mathematics well, and you compose poetry perfectly. Everyone has their own talent, and you are gifted no less than Petya. Get together for the weekend and trade your skills.
Everyone has their own talent
This phrase saves many from blind envy. Indeed, if fish evaluated themselves on the scale of a cat, then their envy would have no end: they can’t climb trees, they have scales instead of wool, they can’t meow and they always want to get to the water as soon as possible.
You need to understand who you are, fully accept it. If you play the violin perfectly, but live in the yard, where everyone plays football masterfully, which you categorically do not like and do not know how to do,you may never know that you are a future great musician.
Don't feed your envy
When this feeling boils in us, we consciously or not begin to feed him: "So what if he is rich, but I'm smarter." Such a trick can only be used in relation to a completely desperate teenager, this phrase only "strokes the head" of an adult.
As a result, we not only do not get rid of this vice, but also feed it. For a while, this shortcoming will not make itself felt, and then it will flare up with even greater force. Learn to accept the facts: yes, she is prettier, and that's okay.
Learn to love people
You need to learn to see only the good in people, but also resignedly accept the bad. Give yourself more, help, show altruism. Giving compliments, saying nice words, supporting - it helps a lot.
You are not the center of the universe
Precisely because we perceive the world around from the position of our "I", we involuntarily feel ourselves in the center and the most important individual. This applies even to those individuals whose rating is very low.
Thinking that you are the navel of the earth, and you are not treated properly, life is unfair, because you deserve more, you can go crazy with envy of everything that surrounds you.
Walk into your fear
A person whose hands are tied in a psychological sense is more likely than others to succumb to this vice, because they want to do it, but cannot. And the main reason, oddly enough, is not a lack of talent orabilities, but fear.
A person who is afraid lives in a cage, he is not free. There is no freedom - there is no happiness, and unhappy people are the most vulnerable to sins.
Don't be afraid of relapse
If with great effort you got rid of the feeling of envy and it seems that it is forever, do not flatter yourself. The situation can provoke, the main thing is to dim the light before it flares up.
Don't be afraid if your flaw comes back to you, because you know how to deal with it. Most importantly, don't give up.
The social benefits of envy
It's a paradox, but many deadly sins are the engines of progress. Thanks to laziness, we know what a car is, a food processor, a telephone, an elevator, a robot vacuum cleaner, the Internet, after all. Gluttony supports and develops the food business, and envy generally holds everything in its hands.
Where would Apple be today if not for human envy and greed? Would we know Coca-Cola if not for gluttony? And the pizza delivery service should generally idolize laziness.
