Every year, humanity complains more and more that it lacks communication. People have come up with many ways to deal with loneliness. But the problem still remains acute. The saddest thing about this story is that a person feels lonely surrounded by a huge number of people. Unfortunately, the situation is not changing for the better. Why is this happening, experienced experts offer to figure it out.
Loneliness among people
It is very strange to hear, but most of all there is a lack of communication for those who live in a huge metropolis. It has been noticed that residents of small villages do not have such problems, since they have known each other since childhood and, in fact, live as one big family. When, after graduation, a guy or a girl decides to enter a university in a big city, they very quickly find friends and like-minded people.
First of all, this happens because the same visitors live in the hostel, just like themselves. And only after graduation can these people truly understand that they lack communication (in case they fail to acquire a family or real friends during this time).
The situation is radically different with the residents of a big city. They live in their own apartments and have little contact with each other (some don't even know their neighbors). When the period of graduation and growing up comes, a lack of communication manifests itself. Everyone is running about their business, solving private problems and not paying attention to anyone. So it turns out that a person remains lonely even when he has many acquaintances.
Types of communication deficits
American psychotherapist Eric Berne in the middle of the last century called the lack of communication hunger. And it is fraught. According to his theory, a person who lacks communication can become ill with severe forms of mental disorder. Modern scientists agreed with Berne, who identified the main types of communicative hunger. Let's take a closer look.
Types of lack of communication:
- Hunger for stimulation. This is the absence of verbal communication, when a person is forced to be alone for some time. Eric Burn has proven that even a few days of complete isolation can lead to negative changes. And the more time a person spends alone, the more terrible the manifestation of change will be. This problem is especially relevant for parents who do not pay dueattention to their children or simply leave them in the maternity hospital. Most often, in adulthood, such a person will not be able to fully adapt to society.
- Hunger for recognition. This feeling a person experiences when he finds himself in a strange place. He is surrounded by many people, but he does not see familiar faces, so he cannot contact them. This is especially felt when moving to another country, where the lack of communication is exacerbated by the lack of knowledge of the language. A hunger for recognition can lead to deep depression.
- Hunger for quality communication needs. We are talking about formal relationships at work or in any official field of activity. The question arises why there is not enough communication if you can contact colleagues. The answer is obvious: a person has no friends or like-minded people, and formal dialogues and cold phrases do not allow you to fully enjoy simple living relationships.
- Hunger for events. This type is characterized by a situation where people work in the same team and gradually begin to get bored from monotony and lack of diversity. They come up with imaginary incredible events, weave intrigues, spread gossip. This situation is not exemplary, but it is necessary for men and women (equally) for psychological relaxation.
- Hunger for recognition. This situation is familiar to almost all people, since everyone strives to get their part of a worthy assessment. Only for each individual, the dimensions and criteria for this recognition differ significantly. An example would bea famous artist who was popular in his younger years, but later became forgotten by everyone. Sometimes people with such ambitions lose their he alth or become victims of harmful addictions.
Thirst for change
There is a situation when a person outwardly looks successful, because he has many acquaintances, a normal job, smooth relationships with loved ones. Where does the annoying thought come from in this case: “There is not enough communication, what should I do?” Very often, the reason for this state lies on the surface: a person is overcome by elementary boredom. Monotonous life, constantly flickering faces, monotonous work lead to the thought of a lack of communication. Everything is so boring that I don't even want to talk to anyone.
In this case, it is recommended to change the situation. Maybe you should find another place to live, new friends, come up with a new hobby. Any changes will be beneficial, as fresh information will appear, and the old problem will disappear forever.
Attention Deficit
Some individuals do not have enough communication with people due to a lack of elementary attention. One person is satisfied with communication with a narrow circle of close people, another lacks round-the-clock contact with a large audience. He constantly craves new acquaintances and dreams of compliments, applause and admiration in his address. This is an absolutely normal situation, since all people differ in temperament. Those who lack recognition must change their lives so as to be incenter of attention. A smart decision would be to enroll in a theater studio, take personal lessons, excel in your hobby, attend parties more often or host them at home.
Lack of happiness in personal life
It is because of problems in the family that people most often feel lonely. There are so many people around, a lot of good friends, colleagues, relatives, and a loved one is missing. In this situation, there is only one way out: to look for your soul mate. As soon as she appears, the feeling of loneliness will disappear without a trace.
Bad habits
Usually there is not enough live communication for those who have addictions. This problem is especially relevant for people who depend on the computer. Constant pastime at the monitor tears away from reality. A person lives the life of his characters, communicates virtually with others, stops voicing his thoughts, conveying them using letters and numbers. This isolation leads to a lack of communication. An adult becomes like a child who lives in a world of illusions. This situation leads to severe mental disorders, since the human body needs live contacts and emotions. Experts recommend not to abuse the latest technology, and use gadgets in a dosed manner.
Heavy character
People with this problem also lack communication. If a person is too closed, has a pessimistic attitude, does not trust anyone and deliberately does not make contact, sooner or later a lack of communication will arise in his life. People are afraiddeal with incomprehensible, secretive personalities. It is enough to behave incorrectly several times and you will get the impression of an unbearable character. Introverts and phlegmatic people should try to communicate more with people, over time they will learn to do it right.
Advice for new moms
“There is not enough communication on maternity leave, what should I do?” - this question worries almost all young mothers. Women face this problem immediately after childbirth or after some time. You should not dramatize the situation, because parental leave allows you to put the baby on his feet and return to his previous physical form. In order not to be bored, you need to take the advice of experts:
- Don't try to be perfect. If the status has changed, this does not mean that duties and excessive demands have increased. No need to try to do everything, you need to give yourself time to recuperate after giving birth.
- Don't focus solely on the baby. If the mother devotes her time only to the baby, she will have problems in her personal and social life. And the kid will grow up spoiled, which will adversely affect his future fate.
- Make time for yourself. If a mother takes care of herself, her husband, child, and everyone around will like it.
- Communicate more. You should not sit within four walls, you need to go outside and contact people. So you can get a lot of positive emotions and make new friends.
- Go out into the world without a child. It will be great if young parents do notforget about spending time together. It is also good for a new mother to occasionally visit a friend or go shopping.
- Involve husband and relatives in childcare. If the decree lacks communication, you need to allow yourself to relax or do what you love. After all, not only mom is obliged to take care of the baby, dad and other relatives will do it with pleasure.
- To increase the intellectual and spiritual level. This is the most important thing that can be advised, since the future fate of the family will depend on personal growth. If mom keeps up with the times, it will raise her self-esteem, which will positively affect her psychological state.
- Learn to dream. Having given birth to a child, a woman has already fulfilled the main goal of her life. But this is only the beginning, because from this period all the most interesting begins. The fair sex needs to indulge in dreams in order to make long-term plans for the future.
Recommendations for the elderly
Older people often complain about the lack of communication. They strive to contact and are ready to do it around the clock, but relatives perceive this as an obsession. Experts give important advice that will help solve all problems. You just need to create a circle of like-minded people. This will happen as soon as a person finds a job to his liking. It is necessary to join a community of interest, attend social events, come up with interesting joint activities with neighbors.
The opinion thatman is lonely, more than mistaken. If there is such a feeling, it means that he simply does not want to communicate with others. It is necessary to understand yourself, understand the reasons for your longing and actively engage in battle with a pessimistic attitude. One has only to look around and immediately respond to a huge number of people who want to be there.
