The topic of relationships between generations is very broad. But there are the most common causes of conflict points, which should be paid special attention. No matter how attentive and understanding the parents are, and no matter how hard the children try, conflicts, alas, cannot be avoided. This is a kind of stage of adaptation of all family members. So, why do conflicts arise between parents and a child.
Reasons
The reasons can be both general and specific, related to the psychology of relationships between loved ones. So why do conflicts arise between parents and children? Much here depends on the type of interaction adopted within the family.
There is a type of relationship that is harmonious, as well as the opposite. In the first case, the concept of mutual assistance is formed in the family, everyone knows their role, and all the relatives together are on the same side of the fence. The disharmonious type is characterized by a negative model of relations between spouses. Communication takes place withattacks, recriminations and covert or overt disrespect. Children in such a family initially grow up with a sense of persistent anxiety.
Conflicts on the background of parenting methods: overprotection and prohibitions
Conflicts between parents and a child often arise against the backdrop of parenting methods that have destructive power. The characteristic features of this are, above all, disagreements between father and mother on key issues. For example, one parent has just forbidden a child to eat a candy, at the same time the second one persistently offers it. Such inconsistency leads not only to ignorance of the order by children, but also to the emergence of conflicts between adults. Destructive methods also include prohibitions and overprotection, excessive demands on children's achievements, as well as frequent comparison with others. It is recommended that success standards be set within the family, as well as ways to encourage. Then the children will form the correct idea of real life values and priorities.
Crisis of age
Crisis of a certain age are an additional reason why conflicts arise between parents and children. The statistics of occurrence of such situations exceeds 80%. During the transitional period, the child tries to revise the system of values that has already developed in the past age period. Crises occur in the first, third, sixth year of life, during puberty, conditionally up to 14 years, and in adolescence - up to 18.
In each of themthere are peculiarities of perception of the external world and interpretation of different situations. The child begins to rebel in cases that previously did not even raise questions.
Personal factors and types of relationships
Conflicts between parents and a child often arise due to personal factors. The most common is the conservatism of the older generation. Not so much the fact as its manifestations. These include the unwillingness to comprehend new things, to listen to the personal opinion of children, as a result - disrespect for their point of view. Although, in response, parents demand unquestioning obedience and reverence for their many years of experience. This is very similar to dictation, which is an unequivocal mistake of adults. Sooner or later, this will lead to a corresponding response. That is why there are conflicts between parents and children.
How representatives of different generations communicate is clearly seen in the types of relationships between older and younger, which are divided into:
• Optimal, when everyone is as happy as the situation allows.
• Necessary, in which parents are interested in the affairs of children, and they, in turn, are happy to share their thoughts.
• One-sided or intrusive. At the same time, adults most often initiate conversations about the affairs of the younger generation. Feedback is made out of a sense of favor.
• Ignoring. When children are happy to share their interests, but in return they receive only parental indifference. Often soundsthe phrase “yes, what can you show new” and stuff like that.
• When the way of life of the younger ones causes conflicts. At the same time, the elders turn out to be right.
• When the choice of the younger generation provokes conflict situations with parents, the children turn out to be right.• Mutual ignoring when no one shows interest in the affairs of the other. Children and parents are often forced to live in the same territory, while being, in fact, strangers.
Why conflict?
Why do conflicts arise between parents and children? Because of teenagers and their behavior. Here, in fact, not everything is so simple. Teenagers and parents conflict according to the following types:
• Seniors constantly raise the bar of success for the child, eventually he gets tired of fighting for the championship.
• Supercare, manifested in excessive care and intervention of parents in all areas of the child's life.
• Total control, diktat, non-acceptance by parents of the slightest hint of the independence of the child.• Authority, when everyone tries to prove their case, no matter what it takes.
Children react most often with the following behaviors: confrontation, disobedience, and isolation.
Experience counts
We figured out why there are conflicts between parents and children. How can such situations be avoided? Perhaps no qualified psychologist can give such recommendations. The point is that situations like thisthe emergence of a certain experience, which is very important for the formation of a full-fledged personality. Preventing useful lessons is not worth it, and it will not work, even with a great desire.
Equal Dialogue
To make it easier to experience natural moments, you should consider the main reasons why conflicts arise between parents and children. How they can be resolved is a question of interest to many. You can benefit yourself and the family as a whole if you perceive the emerging contradictions as the norm for the he althy development of relationships. No need to argue, it is better to listen to the child's point of view and explain your own. It will be a dialogue, not a debate. If the children are still young enough, you should reconsider your system of prohibitions.
We need to replace "can't" with "let's try another way". Children should be forbidden something only in case of danger or impossibility of what is happening. All other situations can be resolved peacefully. With this approach, you can always find the answer to the question of why conflicts arise between parents and children. How to solve them, the experience of the past years should tell.
Listen to your child
If in childhood the current parents were not allowed to have an opinion, then for your child this situation should be changed radically. You need to listen to your own child. Then you don't have to worry about his unmet needs, because moms and dads will know what is really needed.
Conclusion
Before you ask anyone why there are conflicts between parents and a child, you should ask yourself this question. You need to put yourself in the place of the younger generation, open your mind to something new. Diktat should be replaced by the possibility of choice given to children. It is important to be consistent with your child, that is, keep promises.
