People very often suffer from the fact that they misunderstand their interlocutor. Having misinterpreted the words of a person, it is easy to take offense at him. Conflict-free communication lies in the fact that the opponents listen to each other and do not allow situations when their dialogue goes beyond the control of the mind and is transferred to the control of the senses. How to learn to avoid conflict?
Watch the words
People should be accountable for what they say. Conflict-free communication is based on well-chosen words. A person can be offended not only by the thoughts expressed by the opponent, but also by the way they are formulated. Before speaking, try to give the floor to the interlocutor. Listen to the person speak. Pay attention to slang and style of speech. Make an adjustment and talk to the person in their language. No need to be smart and ask. Someone may think that all people should be treated with emphatic politeness. Some people may perceive this style of communication as arrogance.
To achieve conflict-free communication of preschool children, it is necessary to explain to each child that words are a powerful weapon. And the weapon once again should not be taken out. Encourage your child to be friendly with everyone they know. Explain that offensive words should never be used.
Watch the gestures
Conflict-free communication involves both verbal and non-verbal communication. The person must be able to control their gestures. During a conversation, do not try to close yourself from the interlocutor. Do not cross your arms or cross your legs. Try to relax and take the most natural posture. Don't know where to put your hands while talking? Let them gesticulate. Gesticulation helps a person feel more relaxed and confident. But don't swing your arms too much. Your sweeping gestures won't be appreciated if you repeatedly touch your interlocutor's hands.
You need to follow not only the body, but also the face. Try to relax your muscles and smile during the conversation. Learn to smile even at people you don't like. It's easy to be rude to a skeptical person, but it's much harder to offend a friendly person.
Think what you're talking about
A person should always be aware of his thoughts, which he puts into words. Sometimes people get so caught up in a conversation that they forget who they are talking to. Your friend can forgiveoffensive remarks to you, but an unfamiliar person may be offended. Conflict-free communication involves total control over the conversation. Delve into every word of the interlocutor and choose your own words with special care. Do not be afraid that short pauses will hang from time to time. But the conversation will be exclusively friendly.
Never deliberately try to offend someone. Today it is fashionable to speak caustically and caustically. But before you utter an offensive phrase, think about whether it would be nice for you to hear it addressed to you. Not? Then don't say hurtful words.
Treat everyone the same
Never judge people prejudiced. All people are good. This thought should come to you every time you meet a person. Some may argue with this statement. Yes, there are individuals who do not behave very politely. You should understand that the more unhappy a person is, the worse he behaves. A person who is doing well in life will not insult and humiliate you. But a person who is deeply unhappy will constantly run into conflict. What are the ways of conflict-free communication? One of them is to treat all people equally. Do not divide people into good and bad. Talk to everyone in a friendly and open manner. Don't be afraid to smile and joke. Humor helps to defuse even the most tense atmosphere. If you communicate with an unpleasant person in a detached or unfriendly way, the person will switch to the same style of conversation with you. And then there will be no conflictavoid.
Don't put yourself above others
The first rule of conflict-free communication is not to ask. A person must understand his place in this world and have an adequate assessment of his own abilities. But this does not mean that you need to be biased to communicate with people who are lower on the social ladder. Try not to question. No one likes people who constantly show their success and try to demonstrate their achievements at any good opportunity. This greatly irritates people who have not been able to achieve much in life. Do not try to humiliate such persons. Not everyone is lucky in life. All people have their own circumstances. If you want to learn how to win over any interlocutors, then try to talk to people in their language.
Don't get annoyed
One of the rules for organizing conflict-free communication is control over your emotions. A person who is on edge will never be able to control his thoughts and words. In order not to eliminate the consequences of rash decisions later, do not let passions run high. Be cool. It is not always possible to be detached from a topic that is very exciting. In this case, practice the third-person dialogue method. Imagine that you are only watching the dialogue, and its topic does not concern you. When a person is removed from direct participation, it becomes morally easier for him to take control of his feelings.
You can also practice the waydefusing the atmosphere with additional questions. Often a person does not understand his interlocutor and is angry not at him, but at the fact that he did not fully understand what exactly the opponent meant. By asking additional questions, you will definitely be sure that you will understand your interlocutor correctly.
Let the man have his say
People who often clash with their acquaintances cannot accept one simple rule: everyone has the right to their own opinion. And in some cases, people's opinions will differ. This is fine. Do not judge a person for the fact that his set of values does not match yours. All people were brought up in different conditions and social strata. Each person has different values and priorities in life. It is not surprising that opinions on many issues, especially philosophical ones, will not coincide. Conflict-free communication skills need to be laid in childhood. Parents should instill in the child that each person must independently choose his own destiny. Every individual has the right to do as he pleases. And if the desires of a person in no way harm others, then he is free to do whatever he wants. This thought allows people to communicate better. You may not accept the person's point of view, but you need to learn to understand it.
Know how to admit your mistakes
Organizing conflict-free communication of children is a complex process. Parents should teach their child to admit mistakes. People cannot live in the world and not make mistakes. It's on mistakes manknows what to do and what not to do. Learning from the mistakes of others is good, but few people know how to do it. Your mistakes are remembered for a long time. But for some reason, in our society there is an opinion that it is a shame to make mistakes. This idea is planted in the minds of parents. It is not surprising that children will try to hide the result of their erroneous actions. And they refuse to acknowledge their wrongdoings. We need to teach children that admitting their mistakes are not ashamed. After all, any unsuccessful action is a lesson, having learned which you can move on with a confident step. But not only children do not know how to admit their failures. Adults also suffer from this "disease". People try to hide the result of their erroneous actions even when they are openly told that they were wrong. You need to learn to admit your guilt, draw conclusions from it and not be mistaken again. By admitting your mistakes, a person will be less likely to conflict with others.
Listen to the man
Conflict-free communication and self-regulation are possible only when you listen to your interlocutor. Everyone can listen to the words of an opponent, but hearing them is an amazing ability. People rarely attach importance to the thoughts that their interlocutor expresses. Why? A person, when not expressing his opinion, begins to form a thought, which he will say when the opponent finishes ranting. This policy is very inefficient. The person does not listen to his interlocutor, and, as a result, does not understand his thoughts. In order not to conflict with people, you need to learn to listen to them. Try to disengage from your thoughts andFocus on what the other person is saying to you. The thoughts of the opponent will reach you, and you will be able to better build a dialogue and understand the person.
Know how to compromise
Everyone must learn to yield. It is impossible to defend your point of view all the time. In order to exist normally in society, sometimes you have to make compromises. Learn to give up your own opinion, and then you can achieve great success. Do not try to embrace the immensity. Imposing your opinion on everyone around you will not work. Therefore, learn to find a middle ground so that it partially satisfies your desires and partially, the desires of your opponent.
