Probably, it's not a secret for anyone that the majority of the entire population of the planet Earth live with low self-esteem. For some, this manifests itself more clearly, for others less … There is even a third type of people who know about their weaknesses, about their problem, but have learned how to disguise themselves well as self-confident people. What is the cause of low self-esteem? What are the signs of low self-esteem in women and men? And what if you are one of those people? If you really want to know the answers to the questions asked, then continue reading this article.
Rooted in childhood… Parents may unknowingly lower a child’s self-esteem
Like most of our other psychological ailments, this unpleasant problem is also rooted in childhood. Most often, the cause of this condition in a person is the influence of parenting on him. In the case when a child is not given enough love and attention, his self-esteem automatically decreases by several levels. The reason for this is the usualhabit. A person is simply not used to the fact that he can be given as much attention as everyone else. He thinks he doesn't even deserve to be treated like this. He is also accustomed to constant criticism from others and perceives it as always justified, even if in fact it is not. Based on such beliefs, stored in the deepest depths of the human subconscious, a person considers it normal that he is either not paid attention at all as a person, or he is used to being treated with disrespect. From here arise such problems as domestic violence, resignation to the fact that a person can easily be used and there will be nothing for anyone, and all that. Conclusion? Love your children and pay enough attention to them and their achievements, even if they are, at first glance, insignificant for the "adult" world.
Parental "shackles" of childhood
Most children are brought up with the principle "you must do this, you must not do this, and then you will achieve something high, good, better." The kid remembers all such "rules" and after a while integrates the formula of the "correct" life, living according to which, he will become a worthy person and achieve a lot. Just these rules can be called "shackles". Over time, it happens that the growing baby is faced with the opposite effect. That is, following the instructions of his parents, he does not reach the heights promised to him by them. Discrepancy between the plan"ideal plot" and the harsh reality of life gives rise to low self-esteem in a person.
The appearance of the child. Defects that generate complexes and low self-esteem
If a child in childhood (perhaps due to some illness) had any visible defects, or simply his appearance did not match the appearance of other children, this can also cause complexes and low self-esteem. Complexes are provided to a person if his peers often paid attention to any deviations of the child and constantly reminded him of this, ridiculing him. This can not only hurt the child, but also make him feel ashamed of himself. In the case when parents themselves often focus on the defects of their baby, constantly reminding him of this or speaking of it as something negative, abnormal, the child begins to understand that something is wrong with him, and begins to develop complexes.
Signs of low self-esteem
Now we will look at a few of these signs. They can be easily identified in the surrounding people, but as for oneself … Not everyone can soberly assess the situation regarding their own shortcomings. So, perfectionism is often the cause and symptom of low self-esteem in women and men.
Follow the speech of your interlocutor. First of all, what he says. A sign of low self-esteem is the frequent use of negative phrases (I'm not sure, this is impossible, yes, but …). BUTalso phrases in which a person tries to transfer all the merit in a case to another person (for example, "I just helped").
The sign of a man with low self-esteem is frequent self-humiliation, criticism of his woman, possessiveness and excessive pessimism. If your man has one of these signs, run away from him as soon as possible.
Signs of low self-esteem in adolescents are anxiety and fear of wide social contacts. To this are added egocentrism and frequent depression.
Do you have low self-esteem?
A sign of low self-esteem is the habit of comparing yourself to others. You must remember if you do this, and if so, how often. How other people treat you will also help determine your self-esteem. A person who respects himself will never allow someone to treat him disrespectfully. You have low self-esteem if you value the opinions of others more than your own.
How to get rid of low self-esteem?
If you find any of these signs in yourself, you should learn to love and appreciate yourself. Both for all its positive aspects, and for disadvantages. Take a contrast shower and start some kind of workout that will temper your spirit. Control yourself. And, first of all, pay attention to your gait. Are you slouching and looking down at your feet? Immediately straighten your back, look forward and smile a little. So you will look many times better. To get rid of thislack and believe in yourself, you should try to look like a confident person!
