If you approach the mirror and look closely at the reflection, the question “who am I?” arises, then it's time to figure it out. This will help you improve or even change your life, become happier and take a different look at the world around you. How to accept yourself, understand and love? Psychologists have a lot of advice and recommendations in this regard. Consider a few basic steps towards yourself.
Important basics
First of all, you need to figure out what it means to "accept yourself." This does not mean a throw from one extreme to another: from a bunch of complexes and insecurity to narcissism and ascension to the ranks of saints. To accept yourself and your life is, first of all, to realize the whole value and uniqueness of the body and soul, every moment and place, person and object, and also to understand your significance in this cycle of the universe. Sounds complicated and incomprehensible? In fact, everything is simple if you break it down into points.
1. Unique personality
How to accept yourself if there is no conformity to generally accepted norms? The thing is that the world is changeable and you should not change yourself by blindly followingtrends and fashion trends. Today, athletic and he althy are in trend, tomorrow plump and lazy will smile from the covers of magazines, and the day after tomorrow some others.
If you don't live your life and do only what everyone else does, you can easily lose yourself. It is very important to remember that each person is unique. You should not put an end to yourself, just from the fact that in appearance, behavior or character there are not those qualities that should be. And they should be, in general, only because someone said so. When looking in the mirror, it is worth remembering that a person in the reflection is unique, inimitable, and this, at least, is interesting.
2. Beauty is different
Having de alt with the uniqueness, you can move on to the next item - appearance. Are these unique body, face, arms and legs beautiful? Of course yes! And nothing else! The color of the eyes, if you look closely, is so deep and bewitching. Hair frames the face so beautifully and emphasizes femininity. The body, although not perfect, looks pretty good too.
Accept yourself as anyone and do not forget that beauty can be very different. Think of some African tribes where women knock out their teeth or scar their bodies to look beautiful. To a European this seems strange and ugly, but on the black continent this is the height of perfection. So what looks disgusting to one person will look perfect to another. Beauty is not an absolute concept, many-sided and many-sided.
Well, if these beliefs do not work, then go ahead for beauty! Gym,beauty salon, clothing store - anything! The main thing is not to lose yourself in the pursuit of beauty, and when doing a newfangled hairstyle or trying on a trendy dress, do not forget about inner feelings. What happens if you take off this outfit and wash off the paint? Under the bright and beautiful wrapping, the same beauty remains as without it.
3. Advantages and disadvantages
Having de alt with the appearance, you can move on to the beauty of the inner. How to accept yourself when there are only flaws?
Firstly, people without merit simply do not exist. Everyone has something to show off and work on.
Second, is there really so much bad and so little good? You need to take a piece of paper, draw it into two halves and divide all your qualities into positive and not so good. This should be done in a calm and quiet environment, so that no one interferes, and nothing distracts. Then, for each merit, you can praise yourself or even reward yourself. For example, indulge in a cake or fragrant tea.
Now, on to the list of disadvantages. It is necessary to include objective criticism at full power and analyze each item. Is this really a flaw, or does it just seem that way. For example, the directness and simplicity of a person in different life situations can be both a good and useful quality, and completely inappropriate. This ambiguous character trait cannot without a doubt be classified as a shortcoming. And so on in the same vein. Having worked through the entire list in this way, you can make sure that everything is not so bad, and that there is no huge “blacklist . And if some shortcomings still oppress and haunt, then you need to highlight them and work on their elimination.
4. No comparisons
How to accept yourself as imperfect when everyone around you is so good, beautiful and smart? Very simple! You need to stop comparing yourself to others. You need to learn to erase from your mind the thoughts that someone has longer legs, thicker hair, a slimmer waist, and so on. Here we recall the first and third points. Each person is unique and inimitable, but not perfect. Comparisons don't make any sense. They only develop insecurity, envy and other feelings and thoughts that do not benefit anyone at all.
5. Cross out the excess
Very often a person does not accept himself just because his environment does not allow it. Don't sacrifice your inner sense of comfort and confidence for someone else. On the contrary, it is worth conducting an audit in your relations with others. All who do not accept and do not respect as a person must be immediately struck out of life. The “kind” advice of a best friend about appearance and love, if analyzed, may not be so sincere and good. And the statement about the "soul mate" turns out to be just an attempt to keep or subdue.
People must accept two truths:
- There are no halves, quarters and so on. Each person is whole and self-sufficient.
- Each person is unique and inimitable, interesting and beautiful, and there is no need to change it. If ainteresting, communicate, and if not, leave.
Besides, there are amazing people who cry all the time, whine and literally "pull" life energy from everyone else. Such friends and girlfriends with prolonged communication can simply plunge into depression, from which it is very difficult to get out later.
And another category of "unfavorable communication" is those who assert themselves at the expense of others. If a girlfriend gives advice on how to make eyelashes as long as hers, or how to become as fashionable as she is, then most likely this is not a sincere desire to help at all, but an attempt to emphasize one's own peculiarity by belittling the merits of others. Such people are also not suitable for long and close communication, otherwise you can earn a lot of complexes and insecurity.
6. To love and be loved
How to love yourself? The advice of psychologists in this paragraph is the same as in all the previous ones - to make sure of your uniqueness, uniqueness, inner and outer beauty, and exclude everyone who does not agree with this from the social circle.
There is only one important nuance. Love, as you know, is not subject to reason. It is impossible to sincerely and truly love someone by force, even yourself. But there is good news - love for one's own family is inherent in nature. It is already there, just under the influence of some circumstances or people, this important feeling is hidden somewhere deep inside and it needs to be extracted, revived and filled with strength.
You don't need to try to love yourself, but you just need to excite those feelings that already exist. And here they come tohelp the tips outlined in this article. Having appreciated all the advantages, being convinced of his beauty and uniqueness, and having cleansed his life of unnecessary people, a person will resurrect the lost feeling of love for his own family.
7. Different emotions
Another very important rule: you can and should understand yourself, accept and love in any emotional state. Absolutely everyone is sad or sad, anyone can get angry or just “be out of sorts.”
Negative emotions are also part of the inner world. If you want to cry, then this is what the soul and body need now, and there is no need to be afraid of it, to be shy, etc. Of course, there are situations in life when it is necessary to restrain emotions, but after that, you can hug your favorite pillow and shout whatever you think to it, or cry enough.
All feelings are natural and should not be suppressed. If there are too many of them, then this separate question can be worked out, but at the same time, without forgetting the first point - each person is unique, and an emotional portrait is an important component of this uniqueness.
Little helpers
Help, accept, understand and love yourself can be simple things that are available to everyone today:
- Camera. Take more pictures. Don't like the result? Then show the photos to a large number of people (for example, you can post them on a social network). The second point will immediately work: what seems ugly to one, for another it will look simpleabsolutely. And if there are strong doubts about photogenicity, then make a portfolio with a good photographer. A professional will be able to emphasize all the best and dispel doubts.
- Mirror. You can and should look at your reflection often and, of course, with love. After all, only in the mirror you can see the most precious, close and dear person - yourself!
- Diary. By writing down all your victories and defeats, successes and doubts, thoughts and experiences in an ordinary notebook, you can analyze and think about them, see them in a completely different light. Re-reading individual fragments after a while will help you get answers to various questions, including understanding yourself, your behavior and emotions in a particular situation.
Summing up
If after reading the article and following all the recommendations, the question “who am I?” still remains, then here is the answer: smart, beautiful, wonderful person and interesting person!
Only this way and nothing else! This is what the world's leading psychologists say, and experts of this level simply cannot be wrong.
