Parting is painful at any age, and breaking up an established, strong marital relationship is doubly painful. How can a woman survive a divorce? How to forget your ex husband? The advice of psychologists, recommendations for restoring one's own strength after the loss of a relationship are given below.
Can a divorce be avoided?
There are many reasons for divorce. This may be incompatibility of characters, betrayal of the spouse (wife), alcoholism and drug addiction, gambling. It is impossible to avoid a divorce for these reasons, and if the marriage still continues, then the relationship will already be far from normal. Therefore, before going to the registry office, you should get to know your partner better.
Avoiding a break in relations is possible only with the mutual desire of the partners to save the family. If independent work on oneself does not help the spouses to come to an understanding, then consultation of a family psychologist will help them here.
What to do when the reason is another woman
“I can’t forget my ex-husband, what should I do?”, -this question is asked by women who are faced with the betrayal of their beloved spouse and his departure for his mistress. Why can't they let the husband go? It's not just about the joint children and the feelings of the ex-wife. When a man trades the family hearth for a relationship with another woman, his former lover is jealous. And not so much jealousy in its usual manifestation, but jealousy from the fact that it can no longer “possess” a person who has already become a loved one.
Women with a heightened sense of ownership are harder to divorce. For a certain period of time, the pain of parting subsides, but after the mention of her ex-husband or meeting him, the woman again experiences a painful prick of jealousy.
How to forget your ex-husband? The advice of the mother and close friends is practically powerless here. A woman after leaving her beloved husband for another needs work on herself, awareness and elimination of her shortcomings. However, at the same time, she should not think that in some way she is worse than that other woman. She needs to understand that she is not better than her, she is just different. With a different character, appearance and lifestyle.
How to forget your ex-husband: advice from a psychologist
Psychology helps to overcome the thorny path from divorce to new relationships and normal life. Closed representatives of the weaker sex, as well as overly emotional, need to talk with a psychologist. Counseling will help you get rid of negative emotions and gain self-confidence.
It is not necessary to use the services of a professional, it is enoughhave a conversation with a loved one. Self-diagnosis using the tips below will also help you recover faster after parting with your lover.
How to forget your ex-husband if you have a child
When marriages fail, children suffer the most. They do not understand what is happening with their parents, while they feel their pain and worries. A woman in this situation should remain calm and minimize talking about divorce with a child, since any negative impacts negatively on his development.
After a divorce, keep in touch with your ex, even if it makes it harder to forget your husband. There is a child - let your spouse communicate with the baby, do not interfere with their friendship. Forget about your own feelings and the desire to hurt the offender more painfully. Try to establish friendly relations with your ex-lover yourself. Explain to him that you don’t owe each other anything, but both of you should give your daughter (son) a normal childhood and growing up, despite the disagreements.
Regardless of the gender of the child, he will always need a father. Of course, if the reason for the divorce was drunkenness or drug addiction of the spouse, then his communication with the baby should be minimized. At least until my father is completely cured of his addiction.
If a man refuses to raise a child after a divorce and completely disappears from your life, then look for him and force him to communicate with his son ordaughter is not worth it. This will take you a lot of time and nerves, and can also harm the psyche of the baby.
How to forget about feelings for an ex-husband: a few simple steps
Divorce never goes unnoticed. Women perceive the loss of stable, time-tested relationships more acutely. Especially in situations where they are left alone with their own pain. If there is no support from relatives and close friends, then you need to provide psychological help to yourself.
Step by step, you will feel more confident, and attachment to your ex-spouse will gradually come to naught. But do not expect that everything will happen quickly. It will take time to “get” the still loved one out of your thoughts, as well as open up to new relationships.
Step one: out of sight, out of mind
How to forget your ex-husband? Get rid of things and objects that remind you of him. Start with shared photos, his gifts, letters, and poems written for you. Review them, reread them, and now remember what he did to you. Direct a storm of negative emotions to the destruction of everything that once united you. Erase digital photos and videos from the computer, remove its image from the desktop.
Tear paper photographs and throw them in the garbage chute, burn letters. Looking at the fire, imagine how your feelings “burn out” along with the burning paper. If you want, cry out loud, beat the dishes. Butremember that you need to do this in the absence of children. Don't want to be alone? Get someone close to you to help.
Step two: change home decor
How to quickly forget your ex-husband? Make repairs in an apartment or house. Furniture, curtains, wallpaper - all this must be changed. Rip off the wall covering, cut the curtains and the old tulle. Give the bed on which you spent so many nights together with your ex-husband to those in need. Do not leave anything that can remind you of him. Distribute common dishes, break his favorite cup (plate).
Step three: change of image
How to forget your beloved ex-husband? Change appearance. Changes in appearance will help transform internally and facilitate the process of weaning from past relationships. Change your hair, throw away or give away old items from your own wardrobe. Have you ever worn high heels? Buy them and put on a beautiful dress. Remember, divorce for you is not hopelessness and eternal loneliness. This is a holiday, the beginning of a new and interesting life.
Step Four: Rest
How to forget your ex-husband? Relax your mind and body. Visit the spa, do yoga. If you have children, go to the entertainment center with them, go to nature. Relax where you always want to be.
Take a vacation from work and try to sleep as much as possible. Sleep is the best medicine not only during illness, but also after a breakup.
Step Five: Reduce Worrying Time
Stormyactivity drowns out the pain of parting and does not allow you to be distracted by thoughts about your spouse. How to forget your ex husband? Organize your day in such a way that there is no room left for thoughts about your beloved. Spend more time with your children, friends and family.
Step six: "my body is my temple"
Go in for sports. Training will not only distract you from mental pain, but also help you become more confident, more attractive. For a splash of negative emotions, you can attend hand-to-hand combat classes.
Climb the mountain, jump with a parachute, get an adrenaline rush and positive emotions. This will help you recover and take your mind off your problems.
Step Seven: New Life
Celebrate the positive moments of being free from your husband. Now you do not need to report to your spouse for being late at work and ask for time off for gatherings with friends in a cafe. From now on, you are a free woman.
Even if you have children in common with your ex-husband, this does not mean that you should lock yourself in your maternal responsibilities. No need to try to replace the child's father. And remember that the baby should see you happy and cheerful.
New relationship after divorce
Forever forgetting your ex-husband is not possible for everyone. Only a new relationship can replace the feelings that a woman had for her ex-spouse. However, you should not rush to make acquaintances with men immediately after a painful divorce, since it is during this period that a woman is most vulnerable. The usual compliment and supportcan be regarded as a manifestation of sympathy, and the lady completely succumbs to the "charm" of the new partner. When the veil falls from her eyes, she can be very disappointed with those around her.
A common mistake some divorced women make is that instead of taking a break from previous relationships, they seek to drown out the pain and longing with the arms of new gentlemen. Ladies waste themselves on casual relationships, and then feel devastated and alone. Take your time, exactly the man who will make your heart beat faster will appear in your life. Soon, but not now.
Flirt with men, communicate with them, but not on equal terms. You will feel that the opposite sex likes you, and this is another small step towards a normal life after a divorce. A light office romance without intimacy and obligations will help you become more confident in yourself.
Divorced mothers need to be extremely careful when it comes to new relationships. They should choose not so much a sexual partner as a friend and ally. A man must accept someone else's child as his own and raise him without stopping his communication with his own father (if he himself shows a desire to communicate).
There is one main rule for mothers - never bring a man you do not know into your house and do not force a child to accept him. Here everything should happen gradually. Get to know your potential partner better and only then introduce him to the baby. The child should be comfortable with him. Never betown interests above the interests of the son or daughter. Children understand people better than adults. Therefore, listen to the opinion of the child.
Do not look for the same traits in the character of other men as in the character of the ex-husband. New relationships are given to forget the past and live in the present.
