How to forget a loved one forever? After all, parting is perhaps one of the most difficult trials in everyone's life. The stress that a person experiences at this difficult moment can not only absorb him completely, making it impossible to live on and move forward. Such a life situation can provoke a powerful nervous breakdown and, as a result, lead to a long and complex depressive stagnation.
In the current situation, it is important to realize in time the scale of the possible consequences of the problem and understand for yourself how to painlessly forget a loved one and learn to exist without him. The acceptance of the very fact of the termination of a relationship is different for everyone, since everything is very individual. But the essence of the problem remains the same - it is a rather complex and ornate psychological process, which is sometimes very difficult and can even have a tragic outcome.
Warning Signals: Signs of Depression
In order to understand how to forget a loved one after parting and cope with your own emotional imbalance, you first need to overcome the state of shock. You need to give yourself some time to recover. But it is important not to drag out this moment, which usually becomes a period of immersion in negative thoughts and blaming everyone and yourself for what happened. This, in fact, is what scares the process of realizing and accepting the fact of separation: thoughts of how to forget a loved one do not even come to mind - everything goes in cycles in misunderstanding, the impossibility of accepting the fact that yesterday there is no longer a strong love union today.
This kind of denial and opposition to reality usually leads to further depression. Its first signs signal the disturbing symptoms of the sufferer's behavior model, close to a dangerous mental disorder.
- There is a methodical closure in oneself - a complete lack of desire to communicate with anyone at all.
- There is an appetite disorder - the desire to eat delicious food disappears along with the desire to communicate with the outside world.
- in terms of exacerbation of sensitivity and susceptibility. Just a fallen oil can bring to hystericsdown sandwich.
- There is an intensified process of self-criticism, blaming oneself and others for what happened - a sad feeling of one's inferiority, uselessness and low self-esteem drives one into an apathetic state, which is prolonged by further depressive.
You need to understand that this kind of signs of falling into prostration should succumb to maximum resistance and prevent its aggravation. Indeed, such a brain attack and internal struggle with oneself can be replaced by the threat of a nervous breakdown.
What to do when on the brink of a breakdown
A nervous breakdown is even more dangerous than a gradual depression, because mood swings, outbursts of rage and irritation, and affective actions out of control can lead to unforeseen consequences, including attacks on others or yourself. Suicidal statistics are disappointing in their performance, since a fairly large number of people in the world have tried to commit suicide due to the inability to overcome themselves and answer their own question about how to forget a loved one after parting.
In anticipation of mental sabotage and a premonition of an imminent nervous breakdown, when this treacherous “on the edge” self-awareness comes, it is necessary to gather all your courage into a fist and counteract a dangerous psychological disorder:
- to give vent to emotions - to cry, swear, scream and howl into the pillow: this will allow negative mental suffering to break out and intoto some extent alleviate the general morale;
- stop the flow of thoughts about your guilt or the guilt of the other half, thereby unloading your mind from thoughts that the guilty person should suffer and be punished for their deeds in the form of physical violence;
- to allow people in the person of relatives and friends to be near at a time when it is especially difficult to control oneself, and try not to isolate oneself from people who want to lend their help in moral support;
- at the moment of a fit of aggression, try to switch your attention to something else: just quickly turn on the TV and start to delve into what a news journalist is talking about or a chef is talking about in his cooking show; it is important to stop the moment of peak rage and let the feelings cool down.
Forbidden actions and actions during separation
What else can not be done during a breakup, in addition to the already agreed avoidance of yourself to a state of emotional breakdown? In order to understand yourself and understand how easier it is to forget a loved one, you need, accordingly, to make it easier for yourself by banning certain wrong actions in the post-breakup period.
So, what should not be done and is strictly prohibited due to the already weakened state of mind:
- look for opportunities to resume communication with the initiator of the break - no calls, no SMS, and, moreover, guards at the entrance of the offender in the person of a recently loved one should not be;
- study social networks in search of a newinformation - there is no need to arrange an Internet attack to update the page of the second half in your personal profile every second, this will only aggravate the situation and lead to additional paranoia;
- Turning on "Detective Colombo" and investigating a new passion of a loved one is a rather dangerous undertaking, since contemplation of his happy photos and posts about a new hobby can, just the same, provoke an attack of uncontrollable aggression and despair;
- spying - waiting at home or at work instead of understanding yourself and understanding how to forget your loved one, if you work together, is at least very stupid.
You need to take a sober look at things and clearly grasp the fact that if such drastic measures as parting were taken, then there is no point in trying to return everything back by constantly imposing yourself and your love. Not only do these kinds of actions humiliate and embarrass both sides, they further stir up upset feelings and lead to more frustration and suffering. Here it would be most logical to seek help from a specialist.
Recommendations from psychologists
Visiting a psychologist is not at all shameful. The qualified help of a person who knows and understands such issues will never be superfluous, on the contrary, it will contribute to the quick exit of the depressant from his state of deep despondency. And, most importantly, a psychologist will help you understand yourself and understand how to quickly forget a loved one.without moral self-flagellation and torture of one's own soul.
Recommendations of psychologists are based on an analysis of the current state of affairs, taking into account the peculiarities of the patient's consciousness and vision of the situation. This is not only a powerful support for a person with an objective opinion and his own vision of the problem, it is also a real opportunity to get out of apathetic prostration and get a precious answer to the main question of how to forget a loved one. The advice of a psychologist will step by step justify the need to abstract from the created unpleasant moment in the life of his ward, will allow you to return to normal life in a fairly short time. Usually this kind of problem is solved by a three-step technique for stabilizing the patient's emotional state.
How to forget a loved one: three easy steps
There is no point in denying the fact that if you have already had to turn to a professional for help, it means that an independent way out of a deplorable mood is almost impossible. Based on the opinion of a specialist, following his recommendations, listening to his well-founded explanatory speeches and receiving constructive answers to his questions, the sufferer who asked for help gradually comes to the answer to the question of how to forget a loved one. The advice of a psychologist often demonstrates to the ward a model of behavior for a phased way out of the current situation through the passage of three main steps to the pinnacle of self-control and the return of emotional peace to himself. Three key points in the course of such treatment ultimately lead tostabilization of internal discipline and planned correction of the patient.
So, a comprehensive model of knowing the answers to all questions is to go through three simple steps. How to forget a loved one?
Step one: accepting the breakup. What happened, happened. It is necessary to come to the realization that all attempts to correct or improve the situation will be in vain, since they are not needed by the object initiating the break in the pair. Stopping all attempts to return to the past and resume communication should be at the top of the list of tasks to be completed. Not to see, not to hear, not to follow and not be imposed - this is the basis for a successful coming to the realization of what happened and humble humility with it.
Step two: reorientation of thoughts in the right direction. Instead of daily suffering, thoughts about how to forget a loved one forever, as well as despondency about what happened, you need to move forward and focus on success in another matter. For example, go headlong into work. Although many believe that this is not an option, in combination with the implementation of certain recommendations of the observing specialist, this really works. Immersion in matters that require active brain activity and focus on the object of labor quite easily displaces, albeit for a while, oppressive thoughts. An even better option would be to devote yourself not to work, but to a hobby you like: drawing, knitting, modeling technical structures, active participation in sports training - all this helps to forget about the problem and eventually forces it out of life, like something that does notof special significance.
Step Three: Search for fresh sensations and a new object of attention. As they say, you need to be able to turn the page and start from scratch. Throwing garbage out of your head and things that remind you of the past from the nightstand is a great psychological trick against constantly reminding yourself of the past. You need to tune in to what is ahead - a whole sea of pleasant events, vivid impressions, joyful emotions. Finding a new object of attention is the most ideal answer to the question of how to forget a loved one after a breakup forever. Therefore, you need to close the doors to the past and open yourself to new feelings and new love.
Introspection and debriefing
In the process of going through the three-step methodology of a psychology course on how to forget a loved one, you involuntarily learn to analyze what happened no longer from the side of the victim, but from the side of objectivity. A sound assessment of the situation, which comes only with time, helps to take stock, weigh all the pros and cons, identify the pros and cons of past relationships and smoothly move on to gradually ousting them from your life.
Abstraction from the problem
Self-programming focused on a positive result is very helpful in finding answers to the question of how to quickly forget a loved one. By abstracting from one's suffering and from the mean act of a soul mate, one can achieve tremendous success in eliminating obsessive thoughts and feelings of loss mixed with overwhelming despair. It's like in Allen Carr's book about the easy way to quit.smoking: you just need to understand for yourself that all problems lurk in the head, and not in physical attraction or moral dependence.
Search for new sensations
Another powerful impetus to self-healing and getting rid of thoughts about how to forget a loved one after a scandalous separation is a closer acquaintance with such a concept as adrenaline. Nothing can be more emotional than a visit to the park with extreme swings or adult rides with free fall jumps and the like. A surge of adrenaline helps to fill the tearing wound with an exciting and uplifting mass of positive impressions received after such an unusual pastime.
Motivation
Returning gradually to life, you need to have strong motivation and an incentive to move forward. Acquiring a pet in the face of a dog or cat will help get rid of despondency in moments of loneliness: evening walks in the park with a dog will not only be necessary for the animal, but also useful for its owner, because fresh air has not harmed anyone yet. So there will be a daily motivation to “get out of your shell”, go out and open up to the world, and not dwell on yourself at home, lying under the covers and drooling. Setting yourself the task of how to forget and let go of a loved one and successfully overcome it will help motivate yourself with your own attitudes. For example, set a goal not to think about the past today and reward yourself for this with a delicious cake at the end of the day. A trifle, funny, but it works.
Major life changes
And, finally, the most important thing - you need to learn to strive for the best, improve yourself, do useful things and make your own history. How to forgive and forget a loved one who hurt? It is easy and simple to replace an old pair of shoes with a new one, change a boring hairstyle for a stylish fashionable hairstyle, quit your previous job and find a job you like, change an old passion for a new one - find a worthy replacement for your offended loved one.
Forgetting a loved one, as well as coping with your emotions, is sometimes very difficult. But the theory, proven over the years that nothing is impossible, does not deceive this time either. In order to cope with your fears, depression and despair, you just need to make some efforts, and also, if necessary, resort to the help of people who will help overcome the intensity of passions and cope with your self-control.
