In ancient Greek mythology, there is a small myth about the narcissistic son of the river God Narcissus, who tried his best to reject such a wonderful feeling as love. The goddess of love found out about this and decided to punish him. One day, Narcissus saw his reflection in the river and truly fell in love, because of this, he could not leave his own reflection for a second, after which he died a terrible death from hunger.
Of course, this story is just a myth, but, unfortunately, in the modern world there are more and more such people who are not ready to perceive others as they are. For them, there is only their own solid "I", which no one has yet been able to break down just like that. A similar problem for a modern person is a generally accepted norm, while in psychiatry, doctors boldly attribute the diagnosis of “narcissistic inclinations” to a patient with such a temperament. Let's talk about what are the reasonsnarcissism, as well as answering some of the most important questions regarding this deviation.
- Is narcissism really a disease?
- Is a person a narcissist because of their upbringing?
- What treatment do qualified psychiatrists recommend for patients diagnosed with narcissism?
A person with narcissistic tendencies
To begin with, we suggest that you decide on the very concept of "narcissism". Narcissistic people, as a rule, are incorrigible egoists, narcissists and obsessed only with themselves and their problems. Most often they underestimate those around them and demand from them constant admiration for their life manifestations. The commanding tone and head held high for them are the main calling card, although most often in fact they are truly unhappy. Self-confidence is just a hypertrophied self-esteem. After all, in fact, each of us has a daffodil, only someone can skillfully turn it on and off, and someone to this day equates himself with God. In addition, narcissistic people do not stand up to criticism, while they themselves are ready to express their dissatisfaction for hours.
Narcissism as a disease
People with narcissistic tendencies are actually carriers of a psychological illness that alters their personality traits. Such individuals constantly strive for the ideal, correcting the errors of their body using various methods. Therefore, as a result, they can become "owners" of anorexia, depression, and evenaddiction. Narcissistic people have one unique feature - their anterior cerebral gyrus is too active, so they cannot look at their behavior from the outside and objectively evaluate others. Such people are not able to soberly assess their behavior, and therefore they believe that they behave within the limits of the norm.
Symptoms of Narcissism
In order to help a person with psychological disorders, it is first necessary to consider the signs of narcissism. We will talk about them further.
A person feels empty and useless
Many narcissistic people describe this state as a big black hole inside them that constantly needs to be filled. Because of this, there is a possibility that sooner or later they may turn to alcohol and drugs. The only thing that can truly help is the feeling of real victory. In order to feel the taste of victory, a person with disabilities is ready for anything, even the most disgusting deeds.
Assessing others and comparing them to yourself
A narcissist (by nature) is used to evaluating other people and without fail comparing them with himself, it doesn’t matter if this assessment concerns appearance or character. If a person with disabilities does not feel recognition and love from those around him, he begins to fall into a depressive state, which can lead to addiction to drugs and alcohol.
Two sides of the coin
To the personwho has a narcissistic character, it is common to be in several states at the same time. On the one hand, he is insanely handsome, beautiful and unique, and on the other hand, he is clumsy and very unhappy. As a rule, the first state prevails during the time of general admiration and manifestation of immense love, and the second - during the time of non-recognition and contempt. In fact, each of us can remember having such moods, but there is a big difference between a narcissist and an ordinary person. First of all, this lies in the fact that the first does not have a simple distinction between “good” and “bad”, everything is either “terrible” or “great to the point of losing consciousness.”
After reviewing the symptoms, we can conclude that narcissism is a disease that can really threaten the further development of a person, while making it impossible to live peacefully and feel like a real person.
Narcissism and upbringing
We all know that a child's personality is shaped by the upbringing of the parents. Highly qualified psychologists from the first time can determine by an adult how he was brought up and how much attention was paid to him in childhood. Narcissism and parental love are directly related.
Firstly, the attitude of the father and mother towards the baby can become a driving factor that provoked the onset of the disease, and secondly, sometimes due to one incorrectly stated phrase, the child begins to see and perceive the world differently. A narcissist tends to evaluate and compare himself with the people around him,And this is directly related to parenting. After all, once it was they who tried to remind the kid that classmates at school read him better, and the guys from the gym run faster. Of course, they wanted the best, they thought that thanks to the statements their child would become more self-sufficient and successful, but they achieved the opposite result. You will ask why?" The answer is simple. After all, this problem lies in the fact that the father and mother did not give their son or daughter a chance to accept themselves as they are, they did not give them the opportunity to study their characteristics and skills. Now a child who has been deprived of his personal "I" will look at other people all his life and compare his successes with the successes of the majority, and since his parents always reminded him that there are better people in the world, the advantage will clearly not be in his favor.
Feelings most commonly experienced by a narcissist
There are several types of feelings that a narcissist tends to experience on an almost daily basis:
- Feeling of shame. This category of people very often experiences shame, which skillfully hides within themselves. Due to the terrible feeling of emptiness, uselessness, unappreciatedness, narcissists can not only become depressed, but also feel ashamed because of themselves, so for many of them going to a psychotherapist is almost unrealistic, because in the office the narcissist will have to face his own problems. shame.
- Guilt. Whether a woman, a narcissist man - they feel guilty before their parents all their lives, because they could not justify themhopes, in addition, if the achieved goal is not appreciated by others, the guilt captures the narcissist completely. Very rarely, only when such a person really gets tired of self-blame, his claims switch from a personal reflection in the mirror to others.
- Feeling anxious. Such feelings accompany a narcissist almost constantly, this is directly related to the fact that he expects a failure or a situation that will be insoluble for him. The fear of tripping on the path of life on the next bandwagon forces the narcissist to be in a state of perpetual anxiety.
Helping someone with narcissism
If you find signs of narcissism in your loved one, you definitely need to help him. The task of such assistance is to push a person to find their own individual "I", while going through anxiety, shame and constant guilt. All psychotherapists believe that only a long-term relationship with a loved one will help in such cases. It is believed that this mission is practically impossible, because with the help of support you can get a person out of depression and alcoholism, you can deprive him of feelings of shame, anxiety and guilt, but making him fall in love is an unrealistic task. Therefore, the recovery and liberation of a person from the pangs of narcissism depends only on him. The main thing is to remember that a narcissist must go through all stages of therapy without fail: from “terrible” to “beautiful”.
Be always he althy andcareful when raising your children!
