Want to boost your emotional intelligence? You can not build relationships with loved ones, colleagues or neighbors on the landing? Yes, then you really need to work on yourself. But even sociable individuals would do well to learn how to increase their emotional intelligence. This knowledge is not given to people in school, and therefore many of the citizens of our country can fall into various kinds of depression due to poor control of their emotions.
Learn to observe your feelings
Do you know anything about emotional intelligence? Hardly. Do you know why? No, not because there was no such subject at school, but because few people try to understand themselves. For some reason, it seems stupid for people to take the time to become aware of their emotions. And this is what everyone needs to do. How can you build relationships with others if a person really does not know himself? How about getting to know yourself? Start tracking your feelings and emotions. You don't need to control them. At the first stage, you should be able to recognize the moment when emotions swept over you. Remember such moments and the event that led you to a violent reaction. You should also be aware of how often your mood changes, and what causes it. Through these observations, you can get to know yourself and move on to the next step in increasing your emotional intelligence.
Learn to control your feelings
You need to understand that any development and improvement of skills requires daily practice. Emotional intelligence is no exception. To improve it, you need to work on yourself every day. How? There are special techniques that increase emotional intelligence. What are they? Let's take them one by one.
First of all, you need to learn to control your own emotions. Yes, they appear on an unconscious level, but a person can tame his anger or reduce a quarrel to a joke. Adequate behavior speaks of high emotional intelligence. Mindfulness can work wonders. But it must be practiced regularly. You can start by controlling your emotions not for the whole day, but for just one hour in the morning. Then increase the time to two hours, then to three, and so on.
At this time, you need to behave within the bounds of decency, but also do not be a robot. You must not only record the very fact of the appearance of any feelings, but also control emotions. For example, you had a fight with a colleague. Don't raise your voice. Even if your friend starts yelling, react calmly to it. Learn not to lose your temper at the slightest provocation.
Keep a diary
What does emotional intelligence mean? It is the ability to understand emotions, both one's own and others. And in order to do this better, psychologists advise you to start keeping a diary. It needs to be filled in the morning. And it seems like, why not in the evening? The fact is that in the morning the human consciousness only wakes up, so if you try hard, you can talk with the subconscious.
Every morning you should pick up a pen and write. Give yourself some volume, for example 2-3 pages. And every day, write down what you felt yesterday and why something hurt or made you happy. Remember: emotions are not born by themselves. Everything in our life has a reason. So if you feel bad, good or sad, you must be aware of why this happened. But if you can’t analyze right away, just write down current events. What did you like about the day and why. What did not like - and also be sure to indicate the reason. The diary is a wonderful thing. This handwritten book will help you take yourself to the next level of emotional development.
Learn to analyze
Emotional intelligence develops when you don't just write down a situation, but try to make sense of it. For example, thanks to the diary, you noticed that you quarrel with your mother too often. And it is for this reason that your mood deteriorates every evening. Now try to solve the problem. You should understand one thought - not a single normal, he althy physically and psychologically person will wish harm to another individual. So if you founda person who deliberately spoils your mood, try to understand what his problem is. After all, only deeply unhappy people find pleasure in spoiling the lives of others. Knowing this, try to eliminate not the consequence, but the cause of emotional instability. And most importantly, do not confuse the sequence of transformation. First you should change yourself, and only then climb with advice to others.
Develop empathy
To better understand others, they need to learn to sincerely sympathize. Many people know how to be happy for loved ones. But rarely anyone can let someone else's grief close to their hearts. And such insincerity is striking. The development of emotional intelligence is primarily associated with an increase in the level of one's emotional awareness. The next time someone complains about life to you, do not close, but sympathize. And you should also think about whether you can help the person with something. And if so, please help.
Do you not quite understand how morality, helping one's neighbor and emotions are connected? The fact is that when we help someone, our mood improves. But here we are talking only about sincere help, when a person does not expect anything in return for his work. Social and emotional intelligence in our country leaves much to be desired. Children are taught good manners, but the younger generation does not see an example in adults. And this fact is depressing.
Teaching Art
There are many ways to develop emotional intelligence. One of them is to introduce people to art. Today, few people are sincerely interested in beauty. It is fashionable to go to art museums, so there are a lot of people there. But in local history museums there is no hype, since no one promoted these places.
You need to sincerely love art and be able to enjoy it. And for this, a sense of beauty should be instilled in all segments of the population. What for? Thanks to good pictures, historical lectures and seminars on architecture, the human brain will become more flexible. The level of emotional intelligence will increase, as a person will not become isolated in the area in which he specializes.
When you think about it, how often do auto mechanics go to art galleries? Once in never. And why? They just don't care about art. That is why, if you look at certain segments of the population, you can see not only intellectual, but also emotional degradation. Art teaches to live, love and appreciate every moment. Go to the theatre, attend seminars and visit museums more often. This is what will help to harmonize the emotional failures of the soul.
Reading
In order to improve the emotional intelligence of the child, you need to turn to books. Children need to instill a love of reading, not only because it will be useful in life, but also because it is interesting. Thanks to a good book, you can travel without leaving your home. A person can learn about people of a different nationality, visit overseas and even go down to the seabed. Thanks to books, you can get to know others better, understand their thoughts, feelings and desires.
EmotionalHuman intelligence is formed throughout life, but the foundation should begin in childhood. If parents do not teach a child to read, he will not only lose to his peers in intellectual development. The child will be arrogant and indomitable. Learning from cartoons avoiding books will not work. Modern cartoons are too emotional and colorful. Children can only take away from such programs that frequent mood swings and aggression are part of life.
Learn to listen
Did you learn to talk as a child and limit yourself to that? How else do you need to learn how to communicate? The emotional intelligence of a child depends on upbringing. Many parents do not allow their children to express their opinion, and then they want the child to be able to communicate normally with peers. And some parents, on the contrary, communicate with the child for days on end, and then, when they want to sit in silence, they cannot understand why the child cannot leave them alone.
But the biggest problem of our country is that people are taught to talk, but not taught to listen. What for? After all, no one teaches a person to look, he should be able to do it by default. But listening and hearing are two different things. The emotional intelligence of a preschooler is formed when parents make him do everything consciously. If a person makes an effort to delve into the topic, and not hover in the clouds, many conflicts simply will not arise. But unfortunately, no one teaches this.
Remember, better late than never. You still have a chance to catch up and re-educate the child. Learn it not onlythink and speak, but also listen. Start by asking the last dialogue again. First, its general meaning should be conveyed, and then completely repeated in the reverse order. This is a good exercise not only for children, but also for adults. It helps to review the dialogue in your memory, and if necessary, to revise your opinion on the subject of the conversation. You can rewind as a dialogue 10 minutes ago, and the one that took place last week or even last month.
Take life easy
People are used to cheating themselves. They are taught this from childhood by their parents. Mom yells at the slowly dressing child that he will be late. And this is repeated day after day. Therefore, the child understands that being late is normal. And how else should the baby think, if the mother always runs headlong with him. Growing up, a person takes root in the idea that it is normal to rush. Now a grown man runs to meetings, cursing traffic jams and a slow elevator.
But in fact, problems could be easily avoided if a person just got up half an hour early. But if it is no longer possible to change events in the moment, you can stop winding yourself up. Because unnecessary experiences negatively affect the emotional intelligence of a person. The person becomes nervous and irritable. A person cannot concentrate and because of this spoils his relationship with everyone who falls under the hot hand.
How to learn to let go of problems? Learn to abstract. The moment everything comes outunder control, think about whether you can change something now? And if you can, then act. But if you can’t do anything, relax. Today's problems will be trifles tomorrow, but it can be very difficult to grasp this thought at times.
Sign language
The answer to the question of how to develop emotional intelligence is very simple. Develop observation. She hasn't been too much for anyone yet. A person who has perfectly learned to control his emotions can easily notice the slightest changes in the mood of the interlocutor. This can be done on a subconscious level, but a person rarely trusts his intuition. Therefore, in order to better understand others, you should observe them. Especially for those people you see every day.
By studying the behavior of the spouse and his habits, the wife will be able to predict the development of the situation. And what will it give? It will help maintain a strong and happy marriage. If people understand each other better, there will be no point in hiding sincere feelings. So pay attention to learning body language.
Many people will be surprised, but a person can control his emotions only by changing his posture. For example, when a person crosses his arms over his chest, it means that she is scared. But as soon as a person unhooks his hands and puts them on his belt, he feels much more confident and even a little more aggressive. Such psychological techniques will help increase emotional intelligence and become more insightful.
Travel
Don't know the recipe for developing emotional intelligence?Travel. This activity helps with all problems. On trips, you will get new impressions, make interesting acquaintances, and be sure to increase your emotional intelligence. How? When we meet new people, we get to know ourselves better. A person sees other laws, other orders and a different lifestyle. Each country has different values and a different idea of beauty. Thanks to travel, you can become kinder, tolerant and calm. New impressions also help to reconsider their views on the world. After all, a person who has never traveled outside his city cannot have a broad outlook. Yes, he may have a lot of knowledge thanks to books, but it's one thing to read about a place, and quite another to admire it live.
Be observant
How often do you monitor your activities? Do you put the sausage in the bread box and the bread in the refrigerator? If yes, then your powers of observation need to be adjusted. How to fix it? Small exercises should be done daily. For example, when you come to work, note to yourself or in a notebook which of your colleagues is in what mood. If you turn it into a game, it will be even more interesting. Just give yourself an account. First in emotions, then you can start to notice what and how the person says. Very often the gestures and words of the speaker differ. At this moment, an observant viewer can say with full confidence that your interlocutor is disingenuous. Further more. Try to determine the mood of people by emotions. Such experiments can be carried out while you are walking to the subway,or while you are bored in a traffic jam. The more often you train your powers of observation, the faster the skill of noticing small things will become second nature to you.
