Many girls wonder what to do if the husband is jealous. It seems that everything in life is good, the children are growing, the family is prosperous, the beloved gives flowers, and he has no bad habits, but the man does not let go for a walk with his friends. Why? The causes of jealousy and how to deal with it, read below.
Definition
What is jealousy? This is the feeling that a person has when he sees that someone else likes his things or loved ones. Jealousy gives rise to fear that a stranger is able to take away what he does not want to give at all. I must say that the instinct of the owner is more developed in men. That is why the expression jealous husband can be heard more often than the phrase jealous wife. Women tend to be jealous, they want to have what they don't have. Men are mostly realists. Therefore, the envy of their heart rarely worries, but the fear that they may lose the most dear and beloved often gnaws at many representatives of the stronger sex.
Can jealousy be useful?
Everything is useful in small doses. Therefore, even a jealous husband pleases his wife if he skillfully doses his shortcoming. After all, any woman is pleased when she is taken care of, talked to and escorted to work or a store. For some men, jealousy does not cross borders. They just gently control their wife. By restricting a person's freedom in one area of life, he needs to compensate for it in another area. Therefore, many men prefer to put a woman on a pedestal, and she does not give reasons for jealousy for this.
But this is, of course, the ideal option. In most cases, the husband is jealous for no reason. And it doesn't do it softly. A man can yell at a woman, beat her so that she confesses to atrocities that she did not commit. Such tyrants should not be tolerated. After all, this is a neglected form of jealousy and it needs to be treated in a psychiatric hospital.
Self-doubt
A jealous husband is not always a problem for a woman. You need to be able to distinguish between the reasons that a man is guided by, committing this or that act. If you understand the logic of his actions, then it will not be so difficult to help him. One of the most common causes of jealousy is self-doubt.
How is it that a person loses faith in himself? Men work hard, and they are used to seeing the result of their work. But it happens that things are better with friends and acquaintances. They can afford a luxury car, branded clothes and the most beautiful girls. And what remains for men with average incomes? All the things that didn't suit the rich. This is how uncertainty is born.own strength. A man seems to put in a lot of effort, but they all turn out to be useless, because friends who work the same amount have more results. A woman who connected her life with such a man should remind him that happiness is not in money and not in status. After all, perhaps rich friends don't have families and are forced to fill the void with trappings of luxury that don't bring pleasure at all.
Uncertainty in the chosen one
Family problems begin where jealousy is born. A man can demand an explanation from a woman where she disappeared last night. Moreover, in response to a completely honest answer that she was with a friend, the husband can simply “boil”. He does not trust his wife and can often even test her. For example, to spy on a woman when she returns from work or when she went to her mother. The psychology of a man's jealousy lies in his own insecurity. After all, the husband understands that his wife is a beautiful and smart woman, and therefore, can meet a more prosperous and attractive man. These thoughts can even become an obsession. Moreover, some men go crazy, they come up with an illusion for themselves, and for them it becomes a reality.
How can a man be helped in this situation? It is worth raising his self-esteem. It will be enough to convince your chosen one every day that he is the best thing that happened in your life. From time to time, you can give him gifts and arrange romantic dinners. The main task is to convince a man that he is loved and desired.
Mistakes in the past
Family problems can arise through no fault of the spouses. It may seem strange, but some people know how to be jealous of an ex. Moreover, this manifests itself even when, for example, the wife's ex-husband lives in another city or, in general, has died. The man thinks that the previous companion of his chosen one was better than him. In this case, you need to convince your husband that this is not so. You can raise your self-esteem with honest stories, about the mistakes of the former and about how good you are in the present.
Sometimes family life gets in the way of a husband's past. For example, he is too accustomed to his ex-girlfriend and treats his wife like his previous chosen one. He may even be jealous of her for reasons in which she is by no means to blame. This mental disorder is associated with loss aversion. The man chose his wife not because he loves her, but because he wanted to close the spiritual emptiness. What can be done in such a situation? Or leave a man or try to reason with him, explaining the difference between his former passion and his own person
Low self-esteem
"I'm jealous of you" is what the wife of a man who cannot take a sober look at the situation hears. After all, it is low self-esteem that instills self-doubt in a man. Everything can start with the fact that a person before the age of 20 has not mastered a single skill to perfection. In the future, he has nothing to support or console himself with. He has to admit that time is running out and he hasn't achieved anything yet.
Against this background, a young man develops depression, and as a result,it often affects not only him, but also those close to him. Wives are the most affected. They are terribly jealous. This is especially true for those ladies who, by popular definition, are smart and beautiful. Looking at his wife, a husband can understand his insignificance. After all, a woman manages to raise a child and go to work, and take care of herself. Naturally, a man is afraid of losing her. In order to calm her faithful woman, she must tell him that anything can happen in life. Now he has a black stripe. But still, you should not withdraw into yourself, and dump the burden of your problems on loved ones. You need to pull yourself together and continue to improve yourself. And it's also nice to give a man compliments, they flatter the representatives of the stronger sex with low self-esteem.
Childhood overprotection
The phrase "I'm jealous of you" can often be heard from a man who is in a close relationship with his mother. He used to be the center of the universe for women. This is especially pronounced if the man did not have a father. Mom idolized her son, gave him all her love and tenderness. And, naturally, growing up, a man believes that every woman will treat him this way. And when he realizes that this is not so, jealousy begins. In fact, such a man is a big child. He wants the universe to revolve around him. A woman has two choices: either she destroys her husband's world and tells him to learn to live on his own, or try to live in the illusory world of the beloved man. It is impossible to say which option is better. It is worth choosing the oneyou'll love it.
What threatens male jealousy to a woman
It should be understood that excessive custody from a loved one is not always a disease. Feeling jealous is a normal expression of love. After all, it is precisely such a prick in the heart that can show a man that a woman is not indifferent to him. If jealousy is not groundless and manifests itself from time to time in the company of friends, this is quite normal. Many women even deliberately provoke men to jealousy, arguing that this is a way to refresh feelings.
But sometimes men go overboard. In the most extreme case, some even commit murder out of jealousy. Of course, this should not be allowed. After all, when a person becomes inadequate, he can do anything. There are cases when a man killed not only the object of his love, but also children and himself. Therefore, in the case when fits of jealousy end in beatings, and not just strong abuse, you need to contact a specialist.
How to deal with jealousy
What to do if the husband cannot control himself. After each visit to a friend or due to a slight delay at work, a scandal follows. And it's all about jealousy. The advice of a psychologist in this case is the same. In no case should you give a man a reason to raise a scandal. Do not tease or mock him, trying to refresh his feelings. If a woman feels better, then she can consider jealousy as a cold. After all, you will not open the window for a sick person so that he is ventilated. So here tooit is better to answer all questions without concealment. Even if they are too thorough. But it can be practiced for a day or two. If such inquiries become an evening ritual, then they must be stopped. Why? Yes, because a person becomes obsessed. In this case, you need to contact a family psychologist.
For prevention, if you know that a man is prone to jealousy, tell him affectionate words and compliments. Do not forget to confess your love and make all kinds of signs of attention. This will lead to the fact that the man is confident in your feelings and his worries will disappear.
Is it worth it to endure jealousy
Many girls sincerely believe that they can change their chosen ones. Is it really? No. A person changes only if he wants to change himself. Imposing someone else's way of thinking on him is simply impossible. Therefore, you should not marry a man if his jealousy annoys you. It won't get better with age. Bad habits only get worse with age. But jealousy is not a habit. This feeling and many tend to think that it is involuntary. After all, there is a saying "jealous - it means he loves." And it is true, but only in the case when this feeling of a person rarely visits.
