People always ask themselves the question of what is falling in love and whether it can be distinguished from true love even at the stage of occurrence. This issue is especially relevant due to the high percentage of divorces among couples who have entered into marriages both for the first time and for the second time. What causes frequent divorces and does this mean that our parents loved each other more? Let's figure it out in this publication.
The phenomenon of falling in love
Psychologists have been studying the comparison of human feelings for many years, invariably coming to the conclusion that the state of being in love gives a person an impulse to procreate. In scientific terms, the feeling that came as if by magic is a genetically predetermined instinctive component of mating. Why is this happening? The answer is simple. A person is inherently self-centered, and being in love temporarily clouds the mind, allowing you to see only good qualities in your soul mate. People, experiencing euphoria, convince themselves that it will always be like this, theirThe examples of other married couples who divorce after 2 years of marriage do not teach anything.
Why do couples break up?
But, unfortunately, the boat called "marital happiness" quickly breaks down on everyday life and the first difficulties. The first love often leads to early marriages due to the high percentage of unplanned pregnancies. So the notorious phenomenon that replaces concepts does its "dirty" work. If a couple, not seeing a further continuation of the relationship, decides to leave, the “heavy artillery” in the face of parents and public opinion comes into play, trying to reason with people who were once in love with each other and convince them to continue living together for the sake of the child.
Fiction with a time frame
Having studied the relationships of married couples, experts tracked the time frame in which love exists and develops in its peak state. 2 years - this is how long the euphoria from feeling in married couples lasts. Moreover, if a man's falling in love completely fits into the indicated time frame, then the ladies are able to experience this euphoria a little longer.
After this time, couples begin constant quarrels, misunderstandings appear, people sink to mutual insults and accusations. It is at this point that people realize that the feeling they had mistaken for love has passed. In fact, falling in love has its own deadlines, and love cannot pass.
Several scenarios
Studying the question of what is falling in love, wefound out that the instinct of procreation prevails over most of the population. Love can be searched forever, but never found. But the state of falling in love, which can replace values in the mind of a person, is an excellent reason to start a family.
For couples that were able to save their families, in a greater percentage of cases, relations between themselves are supported by outside influence. In other words, men and women find new objects of desire and secretly cheat on their soul mate on the side. Paradoxically, it is precisely this circumstance that keeps families afloat. Also, many couples (as in many cases with our parents) exist with each other solely for the sake of children. Well, in the most common variant of today, families, having conceived a child, simply break up.
What is falling in love: how to recognize a fiction?
Let's sort everything out. Know that the state of being in love will never become a stimulus for the development of a person, his personal growth and self-improvement. This feeling takes possession of an object that one likes as the end result. Everything, the person has achieved what he wanted, he has nothing more to strive for. Psychologists have also identified 3 basic principles by which love can be distinguished from being in love:
- Feeling arises at a subconscious level, spontaneously. Sometimes there is a feeling that we fall in love with absolutely the wrong people that suit us, “at the wrong time and in the wrong place.” This state cannot be caused artificially, it suddenly comes and can disappear like a soap bubble.
- The psychology of being in love is passive. As we said earlier, this feeling does not awaken the best qualities in a person and does not make you want to change yourself for the better, and even more so it does not discipline. All the things that are happening at this moment are quite strange and not peculiar to us.
- In this state, people in couples are not at all interested in the personal growth of their soul mate, they just want to end their loneliness.
Men also seek feelings
So, we found out what love is. Another interesting reasoning is how female and male love differs, and is it true that men are only interested in sexual relations in the object of desire. In fact, men are just as sensitive to feelings, just as vulnerable and waiting for affection. The difference is expressed only in the manifestation of their attitude.
How do men fall in love? This condition makes the gentleman often write, call his lady, make appointments, make expensive purchases for her, take care and patronize. A man in love does not give up his intentions after being denied intimacy, he tries to please his passion as much as possible, to spend time simply holding hands. But, as we found out, all this can collapse after some time after the goal is achieved.
Conclusion
No wonder people say that love is work. It turns out that the sages of the people are right, and in order to preserve the feeling that has arisen, you must really want to become better, casting aside your own ego. However, ifthe second half does not desire the same, all efforts will be in vain.
