Formation of friendships is an important stage in the development of a person as a person. Without communication and close comrades, people begin to feel oppressed and useless. A friend is a support, a personal psychologist and a reliable partner. However, it can be very difficult to maintain friendship, because, like any other relationship, it requires participation. Selfishness, commercialism and composure will be fatal to her. To build friendships and maintain them throughout life, it is recommended to follow the advice of psychologists.
Accept friends for who they are
Everyone knows they have certain faults, but they can't do anything about it. Even if a person himself is not able to correct some nuances in himself, then demanding from him a complete change in his habits or a change of views is at least cruel and selfish.
To build full-fledged friendships, it is important to accept a friend with all his minuses or just stay with him in friendlyrelations.
Choose your equal friends
This recommendation sounds pretty harsh, but it's true. The fact is that people who differ in intelligence, temperament and level of development will not be able to be friends for a long time. Usually such relationships remain at one point and rarely develop beyond rare meetings and short vacations together.
The fact is that a strong person will sooner or later realize that he literally "pulls" his friend on himself. At first, this will not result in serious conflicts, but after a few years, this situation will begin to annoy both. The same applies to intellectual abilities. A smart person will not be able to maintain friendly relations for a long time with someone who is significantly inferior to him in development. Such relationships are doomed to fail.
Be able to listen
To build a long-term relationship, you need to learn to talk not only about yourself, but also be interested in what is happening in the life of a friend. Nobody likes people who constantly complain about their lives and constantly wait for support without giving anything in return.
You need to understand that some people keep their experiences inside - it's easier for them to survive adversity. Other people need to speak up because that's the only way they can feel relieved.
Don't be friends with the three of us
In friendship, as in love, the third is superfluous. No matter how strong the affection of three friends is, the bond between two of them will always be stronger. In addition, psychologists have long proven that good friendships can only existbetween two people.
If a person is lucky, and he has 2 best friends at once, then you should communicate with them separately so as not to make the third party jealous.
In large companies, the phrase “We are like one family” is often heard, but this is far from being the case. In such "communes" friendship lasts exactly until the moment when people are united by something in common. For example, everyone does not have children, spouses, etc. As soon as one person in the company has a change in life, most likely all his comrades will turn away from him.
Avoid psychological addiction
It is very important to understand that in the process of developing friendships, each of the partners will change their marital status, status, place of residence and much more. Girls and young people very often complain about their comrades, saying that they have moved away from them after marriage or the birth of a child.
Don't confuse "friendship" and "love". A friend does not have to devote all his time and attention to a friend, he can and should have a personal life.
According to statistics, men are more prone to psychological dependence on friends, because of this they often have disagreements in the family. Putting friendship first is a big mistake, as companionship should bring positive energy, and not be a burden for life.
Don't prolong conflicts
Friendship is a very delicate union that can easily be destroyed with just a few thoughtless words thrown in the heat of resentment. Howeveryou need to understand that any conflict is more difficult to resolve if it is too long. You should try to address problems as soon as they arise. If the quarrel was very serious, then you should cool down a little and talk with a friend the next day.
According to psychologists, it is best to resolve conflict situations no earlier than 24 hours, but no later than 48 hours. If you wait too long, one of the comrades will start to think that for the other friend their relationship is not so important.
Don't be jealous
Only a true friend will sincerely rejoice in the success of his comrade. If envy crept into the relationship, then it will destroy everything. Friendly relations are based not only on mutual assistance, but also on the ability to be happy for your neighbor.
If a person experiences envy, then on a subconscious level he will wish evil to his friend. Sooner or later, this will lead to the end of the friendship.
Is it possible to forgive the betrayal of a friend
Betrayal is the most relevant and difficult topic in both love and friendship. In this matter, everything depends on the “gravity of the crime.”
If a friend met with another friend and did not tell you about it, then this should not be treated as treason. Accordingly, there is nothing to be offended either.
To consider it a betrayal that a friend has a family, and now he is with her most of the time, is also very stupid and selfish.
If the comrade startedspread false rumors or set him up at work in front of his superiors, then this does not characterize him from the best side. Of course, you can not end the relationship right away, but at least you need to talk with the traitor and find out why he behaved this way.
Another important nuance - you can not look for excuses for betrayal. It is necessary to clearly understand that the one who betrayed once will betray again. In this situation, there are only two options left: forgive a friend and accept him with all his vices, or end the relationship.
Is there friendship between a man and a woman
On this issue, psychologists are unanimous: in such friendships, one person always experiences warmer feelings. This is because at a certain point a man or woman will begin to see a sex object in his friend.
Even if friendly relations between representatives of different sexes originated in early childhood, this does not mean that these people will experience exclusively platonic feelings for each other all their lives.
In addition, it is worth considering the fact that men and women understand the meaning of friendship differently. If a representative of the stronger sex sees a girlfriend in a girl, then he will boldly tell her about his romantic adventures, will not open the door to her or pay for dinner.
A woman subconsciously perceives her male friend as a potential young man. Therefore, she will be offended by such behavior. To try to build real inter-gender friendships, you will have toput in a lot of effort.
First, you need to immediately agree that as soon as one of the comrades begins to experience warmer and more tender feelings, he must honestly admit this. Secondly, you should not talk too openly about your love affairs, this topic is best left for comrades of the same sex.
Building true friendships is a long process that requires a lot of effort on both sides. The main thing is to always remain sincere with a friend, not to envy him or be jealous - then the friendship will last for many years.
