If a child has received the care and love he needs from his mother, he will then be able to feel protected when he finds himself in an unfamiliar social environment.
A child's attachment to his mother affects personality development and the ability to form personal relationships in adulthood.
Attachment Theory
American psychologist John Bowlby developed the attachment theory. According to this theory, a child will be able to build normal trusting relationships only if, under the age of 3 years, he has formed a he althy attachment to his mother or a guardian who replaces her.
D. Bowlby defined attachment as a stable psychological bond that is formed as a result of close interaction. This warm interaction gives the baby a sense of security from the unpredictable outside world and a feeling of confidence.
How can an adult understand that his child's attachment has already been formed? First, the child smiles when the guardian enters the room. Secondly, when he is afraid or anxious, he seeks protection from the very adult with whom this warm relationship has developed.
Developing Attachment
So how does attachment develop? Types of attachment are formed for life, or not? The mental community of the child and mother is not based only on biological factors. The mother is obliged to make every effort, respond at the first call and never react negatively to infant cries.
According to Bowlby's own theory, attachment develops in three stages.
- Stage from 0 to 3 months. Undifferentiated perception of care. Children react equally to everyone who talks to them, takes care of them.
- 3 to 6 months. Focusing on familiar faces. Babble and smile are only shown to the guardian.
- The third stage is the period when the baby is actively exploring the world, but still needs support and support. From 6 months to 2 years - recognition and getting used to the characteristics of the mother.
After 3 years, he has a certain idea of the reliability and responsiveness of the mother or guardian. If an adult can be trusted, the field of research increases, the child behaves more boldly. If an adult is not responsive, does not support in undertakings, then the child is more anxious.
Also, attachment depends on the well-being of the baby. A sick child will be more capricious,because it needs more attention.
Types of child attachment
Psychologist, follower of D. Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth once conducted an experiment in which young children were left for a while with a stranger, completely alone in an unfamiliar room. Then, at the end of the trial period, the mother returned to the room. All this time, the child's reactions were observed by experts.
- Type A - avoidant. Those children who were observed during the experiment avoidant type of attachment, chose restrained behavior when the parent left them to play with a stranger for a while. Upon their return, they reacted little to a person close to them. These children instinctively protect themselves from negative emotions, as they are afraid that a new attempt at rapprochement will again lead to a feeling of rejection.
- Type B. This is the only safe type of relationship between a child and a mother. Children worry during the absence of a parent, show less curiosity. And upon the return of a loved one, they show great joy. Such attachment is called secure.
- Attachment type C. Anxious-resisting, or ambivalent. The child cries when the mother leaves, when she returns to the nursery, he oscillates between aggression towards her and excessive joy. This type of attachment is formed in conditions of existence that are very unsuitable for the child. Parents sometimes behave aggressively with the child, and then pamper and lisp.
After research by other psychologists (M. Maine and Solomon Asch), anotherone is a disorganized type of attachment. This type will be in that child whose parent was emotionally unavailable, did not know how to soothe, and sometimes was even aggressive towards the baby. This group of psychologists also investigated the influence of attachment type on the formation of a child's personality.
Avoidant attachment. Consequences
Those children who are not supported and given no signs of attention grow up with an avoidant type of attachment. Such babies ask little from their parents; do not require to be picked up. They learn to be independent, because they believe that they are left to themselves and there is no one to ask for protection or help. They do not like to communicate with relatives. In social life they behave aloof. Very withdrawn and vulnerable.
Anxiety-resistant type
Anxious-ambivalent attachment is not so common, only somewhere in 7-15% of children. These kids are constantly afraid, because it is impossible to predict the behavior of a parent: will he be around the next moment or will he need to leave home somewhere and leave him alone?
Parenting is inconsistent, and the child does not know how to behave with him next time, and is not able to develop normal partnerships with parents. Children either try to attract attention with inappropriate behavior, or they are even afraid to move away from their mother.
Attachment and trust
Without normal trusting relationships with parents, the baby will have difficulty communicating with other children. Relationships in adolescence and adulthood are builton a special basic trust in people and in the whole world. Children with attachment disorders either avoid close relationships all their lives, or still start a family, but are very unhappy in family life.
In adult close relationships, people with an anxious attachment type constantly worry about how important they are. Any refusal hurts them greatly, and in order not to hear it, they sometimes behave in a meticulously courteous manner.
Socially the most dangerous disorganized type. Mentally unbalanced adults grow up from such children, who are unable to control their pain, aggression towards others.
Maternal deprivation. Species
Psychological deprivation of a child is the inability of the mother to meet his basic emotional needs for acceptance, support and love. A child under three years of age is emotionally absolutely dependent on the guardian. If you do not teach him to love himself, he will not be able to do this in the future.
Deprivation can be complete or partial. Complete - this is the absolute deprivation of the child of even a physical connection with the mother. This is getting into orphanages or hospitals for a long time.
Partial, or masked, deprivation suggests the mother's emotional coldness. In this case, sensory stimulation is preserved, but emotionally warm communication is sorely lacking for the child. All this is reflected in its further development.
The problem of personality formation of a child with disordersaffection
Departure from the mother at a very early age threatens the child with the destruction of not only the basic trust in the world, but also mental problems. The sooner the child is weaned or lacks emotional warmth, the greater will be the pathological consequences.
The child may begin to show aggression, may become autistic, that is, closed in his own fenced off world. The baby loses interest in exploring the space around, intellectual development suffers.
It is believed that after five months of separation from the mother at the age of 2 years, changes in the psyche remain for life. So strong is the intrapsychic trauma for the child. Children who are from birth in orphanages begin to pronounce their first words late, learn poorly, their movements are monotonous and fine motor skills are completely undeveloped.
Maternal affection
For the first six months of life, mother and child are mentally inseparable. The mother is so connected with the feelings and needs of the baby that she loses her "I", her emotions and needs for a while. This symbiotic relationship is vital to the growth and development of the newborn.
However, not all mothers can provide this support for their child. Those women who did not receive due attention in their early childhood do not know how to accept the feelings of a child, since their own experiences are closed from the outside world and deeply suppressed.
Research by M. Maine and her colleagues showed the relationship of the heat that can givemother, based on her personal childhood experience. They interviewed adults with families about their personal childhood experiences with their parents.
Following this study, three types of maternal attachment were identified:
- A confident person who is able to speak openly about their childhood experiences. The children of such mothers are also open, self-confident and sociable.
- The second type of mother's attachment is denial. Subjects deny the importance of attachment between people during the survey. Their young children were already showing signs of avoidant attachment.
- The type of parent concerned about the opinions of others. At the time of the survey, such women do not have autonomy and are still trying to win the love and support of their own parents.
Other surveys were conducted in the 80s by psychologists S. Hazan and F. Shaver to determine how much the internal model of attachment affects the construction of relationships in marriage.
Adult attachment. Diagnosis
So, relationship problems between partners in marriage are also determined by the attachment style formed in early childhood. A test is conducted to determine which of the four types (reliable - unreliable, or rejecting - fearful) an adult in close relationships will gravitate to.
Diagnosis of the type of attachment in adults was first carried out thanks to the test: "Relationship Questionnaire", created by the same research psychologists S. Hazan and F. Shaver.
But in 1998 a new test was developed based on the ideology of K. Bartholomew and L. Horowitz. Now a questionnaire is used, similar to the one that was relevant in 1998. It consists of two scales showing the level of anxiety and the desire to avoid in a relationship. The test consists of 38 questions.
Conclusion
The article explored the concept of attachment, development of attachment, types of attachment. Now it is clear how important the mother's influence is for the child in the first years of life. A secure type of attachment is the only he althy type of relationship between mother and child. And in the future, only such children will be able to create a strong family based on trust and respect. It is most difficult for people with an avoidant type to start a family.
