Efficiency of a person lies in his ability to concentrate on the final task and go towards it, overcoming all the difficulties that arise on the way. However, most of the obstacles that prevent reaching the intended heights are prepared not by the external conditions of the world, but by the human consciousness, which limits the possibilities of personal potential with many far-fetched fears. To overcome oneself, to make character flaws work for the good of the cause - this is what it means to move forward.
Know the enemy by sight
Laziness, apathy, self-doubt, fear of change or communication - all these are components of that part of a person's personality that is responsible for the comfortable state of the individual, dictates his immersion in the sphere of pleasure. Being excessive, so much so that it becomes already a kind of obstacle to leading a full life, the value hidden in the comfort zone, as it were, serves as an indicator of what a person considers himself most in need of: sleep, food, peace.
How to overcome yourself? By itself, the "enemy" part of the personality does not have a specific image untiluntil the constant indulgence of its requirements does not form a problem that already significantly spoils the life of a person as a whole. It can be obesity, dismissal of work due to incompetence, loneliness, early aging. Realizing the problem as his specific enemy, against which it seems possible to fight, a person begins to build self-infringement algorithms, which is obviously doomed to failure, because the infringed part of the personality will resist with all the resources it has.
Not a single bad habit "surrenders without a fight", but to change your attitude towards an action that gives you maximum pleasure to a polar one, this is already akin to declaring war on yourself. Inefficient and fraught with disruption. So how can you overcome your unwillingness to change and is there any point in this struggle?
Is a fight possible?
Having come to the conclusion that such and such or another trait of his own personality, despite his stable position in the comfort zone, began to noticeably interfere with the dynamics of his growth and development, the individual, on a conscious level, decides to get rid of it. But he loses sight of the fact that he will have to fight at the wrong level of a visible and well-controlled process that participated in the formation of the goal and constitutes a sequence of actions.
When, after making a conscious decision, the mechanics of the performing process are turned on, a deep mental functionality comes into play, which can be described as protective. And it is impossible for this functional to prove the rationality of the new solution, it is impossible to argue in its favor,because it has its own arguments, which have the goal of resisting the deformation of the base it has at all costs. This is the unconscious structure of the human psyche, its " alter ego" and the real, hidden truth.
If we compare the magnitude of all conscious processes in a person's head with the unconscious ones, it is better to imagine a huge wheat field spread out as far as the eye can see. When one person decides to embrace with his hands a sheaf of wheat growing somewhere in the middle of this field, then the embracing possibility of his hands will become that size of the conscious, from all sides, like innumerable hectares, surrounded by the cumulative connections of the unconscious. Therefore, in order to overcome oneself even in small things, one will have to deal with a force, forcibly imposing anything on which is simply unreasonable and useless.
Eradicating misconceptions
But there are cases when it worked out, and someone, giving up their laziness, received additional education, started traveling or, having overcome indecision, met the girl of his dreams. Does this mean that there are exceptions and that the realm of the unconscious is not so all-encompassing? No, it doesn't. The fact is that for these people the goal was not how to overcome themselves - they wanted to do what they did, and that's it.
The peculiarities of our psyche are such that a person really wants to convince himself that he is capable of confrontation, and the more desirable the goal, the deeper will be the conviction that it is necessary to achieve it, going through unimaginable suffering. So how do you get over yourself?if they start whispering behind your back and twist your finger at your temple? So a man invents for himself what difficulties he had to face before the girl turned her attention to him, while the very process of achieving this goal was full of subtle and sensual pleasure for him.
From all of the above, we can formulate the first rule for the guide "how to overcome yourself" - this is to give up the fight and hear inside yourself the "want" to do it. Or not to hear and then look for other ways to implement what is required.
What is a challenge?
The English concept of "challenge", which has already become the starting point for the development of a large number of both gaming and quite serious areas, the essence of which is the fulfillment of tasks to overcome, includes a complex competitive philosophy. If we talk about the psychological validity of such a strategy, then the challenge is a good option to step over your “I don’t want” by completely ignoring the “internal dialogue” stage, at which the unconscious is most active.
You have to compete with yourself while practicing the challenge, and each next step on the way to what you want is a certain test, the conditions of which are accepted unconditionally. For example, if a person asks how to overcome anger and reduce the level of his aggressiveness, then the tests will have a communicative character with an emphasis on opportunities to show good feelings. As an option - spend a week as a volunteer in a nursing home, providingmaximum attention to the elderly.
Challenge Principles
If we summarize all the principles of the direction and reduce them to the main concept, then the essence of the challenge will sound like this: “All my unreasonable fears are nothing before my determination to overcome them, and I will still do it and achieve everything I want”. Not only the main shortcomings of the personality are subject to correction, but also those internal obstacles that do not form a single whole with the main obstacle, but indirectly feed it. Example: the main problem is fear of career growth, indirect ones are fear of crowds, fear of open (or closed) space, fear of looking stupid, etc.
During the test, when it has already begun, you can not concentrate on the results; all attention is paid to the process without thinking about why, in fact, all this is needed. Focus on the small steps, avoiding looking at the big picture and focusing on the little bits of events that happen between steps. Only when the test is passed, you can take a breath and appreciate the success.
Challenge setup life hack
To really overcome yourself, and not cause "temporary improvements", psychologists advise you not to rush and first decide on the goals, time and test program. And to make work on yourself more effective, the following recommendations from experienced challengers will help:
- you need to start with small programs, including no more than 2-3 stages of testing;
- all tasks are accepted and executed unconditionally and preciselyaccording to the algorithm described in advance;
- after the task is recorded, it is no longer subject to discussion and consideration;
- if for some reason the test session is interrupted for more than a day, then you will have to start all over again;
- every task should be a challenge to the routine and break out of the comfort zone;
- starting a test program should not focus on the result, because experience is already a sufficient reward for the efforts made.
Later, when the tasks become more complex and multi-stage, you can start blogging for learning newbies. This, by the way, will well stimulate the blogger himself for further movement.
How to overcome laziness?
The Japanese came up with the simplest and most effective way to overcome their own sense of laziness, but it is only suitable for solving specific problems, and not for the final eradication of this shortcoming. After all, as usual, people try to introduce something new and useful into their lives, in which they feel the need, but there was no ardent desire to do this, and there isn’t? They set a long-term date for themselves (since January 1, from Monday) and expect that this time will be a turning point in their lives, although in the end the day comes and goes without any consequences.
Why is this happening? The fact is that at the moment of setting a goal, a person is enthusiastic, it seems to him that he is capable of the most dramatic changes, and he really believes that a certain symbolic date can serve as a starting point for starting a new life. But over time, especially if from the moment the decision is made,more than 3 days, enthusiasm fades, and the planned things do not seem so important. Right moment missed.
The Japanese way to overcome oneself and one's laziness suggests taking advantage of the energy of the exact moment when a person felt the greatest uplift of spirit. Right at this moment, he should do what he so wants, but it is worth giving the process exactly a minute. The next day, at the same time, the person must once again put aside all his affairs and within a minute complete his plan, and so on, until one day he himself has an internal need to increase the session.
How to make yourself move?
The best way to self-motivate is to look at yourself from the outside, as if through the eyes of another person (of the opposite sex) and at the same time answer the question: “Would I like to have a serious relationship with the one I see?”. Most likely, the answer will be no, because the shortcomings that people are used to forgiving themselves are usually hard to accept by others.
Having come to this conclusion, you need to write down on paper (point by point) all the minuses of your personality that prevented you from answering the previous question positively. Thus, the main points that require work on oneself will become clear. Looking at the list, on another sheet of paper, you need to make a second list under the slogan: “What should I change in myself in order to become ideal for myself?”. The main thing when answering this question is to be frank and not look for excuses such as: “If I quit smoking, I will become fat” or “I can’t go to the gym because it’s far from my home.”
Philosopher PedroCalderon once said these words, now often used as a quote: "To overcome oneself is a great feat, which only a great person is capable of." However, modern time managers are sure that the process of such a “feat” does not make any sense without sufficient motivation, and this is exactly what you should think about in the first place.
The lack of a movement vector is a problem for young people
To overcome yourself, you need to know in which direction to grow, and follow this path, otherwise all efforts will be useless. Too lazy to study, work, take care of yourself - all these are the consequences of the lack of a movement vector, as well as the ability to clearly see your goal. Psychologists studying the modern phenomenon of apathetic behavior among young people have deduced the following list of overwhelming factors that prevent a person from finding his own way in life:
- lack of concept of long-term and short-term projects;
- fear of dreaming what seems unattainable;
- not being able to challenge yourself;
- lack of vision in a month, a year and unwillingness to look into the future.
Most often, apathy and laziness suffer from older schoolchildren who are already faced with the need to choose their future path, but unconsciously withdraw themselves from making any decisions.
How to motivate yourself to study, stepping over laziness?
Even admission to a higher educational institution does not mean that a young person is finallydecided on the choice of profession and what he is doing at the moment really meets the needs of his nature. As a result, a graduate with a diploma feels even more confused and unadapted to life than before the start of his studies. Why did this happen? It's very simple - he had no motivation to get this particular speci alty, and the motivating, short-term motives that pushed him through the doors of the institute have long lost their relevance. What could it be:
- respite from the army;
- parental persistence;
- promoting the public (the son followed in his father's footsteps!).
There are other reasons, but basically the apathy that suppresses all other feelings during the school years is connected precisely with the person's awareness of the falsity of old motives and the failure to find new ones.
How to overcome laziness and start learning? The advice will seem tough, but the student needs to decide, right at the moment of the greatest doubts, how much he needs what he is doing, and whether it is in his interests. If the educational process causes nothing but internal resistance and increased apathy, then it is best to abandon the implementation of other people's motives and find your own, in an already new speci alty.
How to overcome the fear of communication?
Fear of communication entails many problems, jeopardizes career advancement and personal life, however, there is a technique that is suitable for absolutely everyone, completely removing the barriers of unreasonable fear.
How to overcome self-doubt? Just stop thinking aboutinternal barriers and 100% involved in the action. The presented technique begins to operate from the first day, and the final consolidation of the result occurs in about two weeks:
- Waking up in the morning, you need to drink a glass of cold water on an empty stomach, quickly put on your sportswear and go outside (without analyzing your actions).
- Right at the entrance of the house, a short warm-up is done, a run begins, and this should be done already when there are people on the street.
- For 15-20 minutes of jogging, you need to complete the following task - to greet any 10 people you meet (strangers) and tell them something pleasant on the run (“nice hat”, “you have a beautiful dog”, etc.).
- After returning home, take a shower and go to work.
It has been observed that such positive training liberates a person, makes him more active during the day and sets him up to desire to communicate, say good things to others and freely accept compliments in his address.
Comfort zone is a convenient trap
A person's comfort zone is the area of his dependence, limited by the perception of external conditions as "convenient" and "uncomfortable". Everything that constitutes the "conveniences" of an individual's life is inscribed in the inner area of boundaries, what seems unacceptable or "uncomfortable" constitutes a vast outer territory.
Being inside the comfort zone, a person practically does not notice that his life moves in a vicious circle from the satisfaction of one primitive needto another. The habitual path is convenient because of its predictability, and if any concessions are possible in favor of a qualitative change in this or that routine circumstance, then almost always this is a retreat into the depth of the zone, and not a step towards its outer borders. So, going deeper and deeper into one's own concept of stability, a person gradually atrophies in himself the ability to make positive qualitative changes.
into unconscious thought processes. Deliberately depriving yourself of these features, which have already managed to merge with the personality of a person, is hard and painstaking work, which, nevertheless, can lead to a positive result.
Every person, even the most ossified in his habits, from time to time feels the need to do something unusual, something that will immediately turn his idea of \u200b\u200bnormality and elevate him above "yesterday's self". Psychologists advise - in no case ignore this impulse and use it as a starting point on the path to gradually getting rid of a convenient, but such an insidious comfort zone.
