People often make things complicated. If there is an easy way out of the situation, it will be scornfully rejected. And then, after long discussions and disputes, people will come up with a complex, mysterious and difficult to implement option. He will become the norm. The psychology of relations between a man and a woman did not escape this fate.
Game theory
Humanity has turned the relationship of the sexes into a kind of complex game with unwritten, but at the same time clearly understood by all rules. As the famous book says, men are from Mars, unlike women, who are known to be from Venus. A rather strange theory, if you remember that these are not only earthlings, but also representatives of the same species, just different sexes. Based on this alone, the male and female psychology of relationships should be quite similar and complementary. But for some reason, everyone is only looking for differences, not noticing the commonality that will help partners avoid conflict in the first place.
Instructions and recipes
Magazines offer countless instructions on how to tame a member of the opposite sex. All of them are based onhackneyed stereotypes. The features and secrets of female psychology in relationships and love, which such sources tell about, are a unicorn that exists in the imagination of the authors of articles and books, and not in real life. But, alas, such recommendations set certain scenarios of behavior. People try to implement them and, of course, fail.
What does a girl usually expect from a boy? Love, fidelity, care, understanding. These are the four points that are key in a relationship, the rest are just nice additions. What does a boy want from a girl? The same. After all, harmonious relationships are primarily comfortable for both partners. Why is this original harmony, given by nature itself, so ineffective?
Care or selfishness?
Of course, the roots of the problem are that although a man and a woman want the same thing in a relationship, they represent it differently. As a result, projecting their expectations and aspirations onto a partner, they get an effect that is exactly the opposite of what was intended. An extremely well-worn life situation illustrating the main female mistakes in relationships with a man: a housewife asks her husband about the past day, tells him some news, while he can hardly bear her chatter.
But is what is happening so terrible? After all, a woman simply considers such a conversation a manifestation of attention. After all, she is interested in his affairs! But a man sees everything differently. He is tired, angry and wants to rest, he is not at all interested in talking. The man thinks thata woman acts selfishly, she just wants to chat. And if she wanted to show attention, she would have been silent, given the opportunity to rest in silence.
What your instincts say
You can find a simple and fairly scientific explanation for this. Men are different from women, obviously. In nature, there is no species whose heterosexual representatives would behave in the same way. The fact that different reproductive strategies dictate different patterns of behavior is natural and logical. Therefore, female psychology in relations with men often turns out to be untenable, as well as vice versa.
A woman is first and foremost a mother. Yes, she can be a convinced childfree, work in the police and get involved in extreme sports. But nature made sure that a woman felt the need to communicate with a child, this is a prerequisite for raising offspring. Naturally, this cannot but leave its mark on the personality. Women's psychology in relationships - whether with men or with a child - remains the same. Instinct imperiously declares that communication, conversation is care.
A man does not really need this quality. As a result, a woman perceives the conversation as a manifestation of care and attention. A man sincerely does not understand what they want from him and why they are offended. He just wanted to rest.
Everything is decided by conversation
But why reduce the relationship in a pair to the simplest instincts? Yes, they influencebehavior of people, but after all, a person is still not an animal. He is able to control himself, change his behavior, improve himself. If partners are having difficulties in a relationship, then the best thing to do is just talk frankly, try to find a compromise. No magazine article, no online psychologist can ever explain a person's behavior as well as they can.
All complex moves, all strategies developed are worth less than one frank conversation. The above was a typical example of a misunderstanding, and even a reasonable explanation was given to it. But after all, the simplest and most obvious way to solve a problem is just a conversation. All a man needs to do is say, “Honey, I miss you too. But now I'm very tired, I need to rest. Let's talk a little later. All a woman needs to do is hear his words. Exactly what he said, without distorting the meaning and without looking for hints. And then female psychology in relations with men as a material for study will no longer be needed.
A partner is first of all a person
All you need is to understand your partner, namely him, and not a virtual average representative of the opposite sex. Yes, women are different from men. But at the same time, every person, regardless of gender, is an individual. What one girl likes will be unpleasant for another. What is natural for one man will seem strange to another.
There are many things that separate people andgender is the least of the issues. Religious and cultural differences, lifestyle, upbringing. And the only way to overcome these barriers is to speak and hear each other.
People just put different meanings into the same words. Don't project your needs and expectations onto your partner. After all, all people are different. Before you start making a person happy, it would be nice to understand exactly how he imagines harmony and comfort.
Q&A
You can read an article that analyzes in detail the female psychology in relationships with men. They write about what exactly a woman wants, and how to treat her, what to say, and what to keep silent about. But it’s not like living with this girl who exists only on paper. Live with the living and real. This girl has dreams and desires, character and life experience. Someone wants to make a career, and someone to sit at home. One woman dreams of a strong man who will solve all her problems for her, the other prefers independence. The only way to find out what a person needs is to ask him.
But the trouble is not only that people are afraid to ask questions, preferring to look for answers anywhere but near them. Both boys and girls are taught from childhood what they should be. They set stereotypes of behavior and frighten in advance that if they are not met, then no one will love. Be kind or you won't get married. Don't be squishy, no girl will look at you. And then, having reached a mature age, former boys and girls are afraid to be themselves.
Trust and respect are the basis of relationships
Often people are sure in advance that a mask is necessary even when communicating with the closest people. You need to be correct, meet the standards. If you just act naturally, nothing good will come of it. So such people say all their lives not what they think, but what, in their opinion, others want to hear. They draw an ideal image of themselves with answers and for some reason they are upset, not getting what they want and expect.
Then it turns out that there is nothing more incomprehensible than female psychology for men. What do you need to know to prevent this from happening? The answer is simple. All that is needed to create a harmonious, warm relationship between a man and a woman is love, trust and honesty. Only then it will not be the relationship of two aliens - one from Mars and the other from Venus. It will be a union of two intelligent, loving people who appreciate and understand each other.
