In the modern world, a person simply cannot help but be offended, because this is a natural reaction of our body to the world around us. Often, loved ones give us great mental pain, after which they are very sorry, but the feeling of resentment still remains. In our article, you will learn not only how to learn not to be offended by people (on the advice of psychologists), but also because of what this unpleasant emotion arises. Such knowledge will help you forgive any person who once caused you heartache.
What is resentment and why is it dangerous?
If you decide to forever stop being offended by other people, then first you should figure out what resentment is in order to know your enemy by sight. Generally speaking, this is a negative reaction to the actions of another person, which we consider inexcusable, and our offender is quite natural. This statement only proves the fact thatthe boundaries of resentment are rather blurred, and its origins are always individual. Nevertheless, this negative emotion can greatly ruin our lives, so it should be de alt with in every possible way. What's more, allowing resentment to completely occupy our thoughts can lead to depression and even affect our he alth.
It should also be understood that if you only once give up the slack and allow yourself to be offended by some person, then everything will definitely not be limited to one time. Negative situations that lead you to resentment towards your loved ones will overlap each other, as a result of which you will begin to take offense even at those things that most people consider trifles. Quite often, such an attitude leads to the fact that relatives do not communicate for years, and love relationships stop at the stage of development. Therefore, try to find the root of the problem in yourself in order to build your own happy future with your own hands.
Don't impose your opinion on others
How often situations happen when one of our acquaintances does not live up to our expectations, after which we try with all our might to change his point of view to the only correct one, as it seems to us. Such manifestations of selfishness are very common. None of the people like it when someone teaches them about life, but for some reason everyone is willing to give a couple of good advice to their friends or acquaintances. Well, if they reject such help, then for some reason a person is immediately offended.
If you want to stop being offended by other people, then neverimpose your opinion and point of view on anyone. Yes, in some cases the interlocutor may indeed be wrong, but if he does not want to accept your help, then you should not force it. In this case, either the one you are trying to help will be offended, or you yourself when your help is rejected.
Try to focus on the good
This advice can be considered universal for any person who wants to learn not to be offended by others. In addition, this is the most effective method for attracting happiness and even material prosperity into your life. As you know, our thoughts are quite material, and like is attracted to like. If you keep focusing on your friends' past actions and waiting for them to happen again, they will definitely happen.
This method also helps to eliminate resentment of almost any degree. Just try to remember all the good things that happened between you and the offender. Or analyze him as a person to find positive character traits in him. Be sure that each person has something to love and respect for. If you don't see this, then it's up to you. When you stop looking down on others and learn to respect your surroundings, it is unlikely that anyone will be able to offend you much.
Try to understand the other person
To learn not to be offended by others, you must first try to understand the person who offended you, because any action has its own motives. It is unlikely that in the world there is a largethe number of people who deliberately go to harm others. Of course, in every flock there is a black sheep, but it is not worth judging the whole flock by it.
If someone hurt you, try to analyze exactly what emotions he was experiencing at that moment. Perhaps he felt unwell or simply overworked after a hard day's work. If we talk about teenagers, then many of them generally offend their peers unconsciously, unsuccessfully joking, for example. If you find the answer to the question of why exactly the person close to you did this, then it will become much easier for you, and you will forgive him.
Don't forget that life is fleeting
No matter how sad it may sound, but sooner or later all people will die, even those who are immensely dear to us. If a loved one offended you with his act, then sometimes it is enough to imagine that he is gone. What will you feel at this moment? Perhaps only fear, horror and bitterness of loss. After that, you will curse yourself for being offended by this person because of some small thing.
Remember that resentment can greatly harm your relationship with another person, so it should be suppressed by any means possible. Guilt is great for this, but don't overdo it. Forgiveness does not have to lead you to feelings of despair and depression. As soon as you forgive a person for his act, immediately switch your thoughts to something positive so as not to attractyour life of negativity.
Don't take everything to heart
"Never mind" - this expression has become so stamped that we no longer think about its true meaning. Unfortunately, words depreciate over time if you do not think about their essence from time to time. How often we try to apologize to another person, and he simply tells us: "Never mind" while being in the deepest offense. Because of such personalities, then we simply stop believing in other people, and such expressions become consonant with the message to go to hell.
However, we really shouldn't take offense to heart. Do not load your head with thoughts that should not be in it. With a high degree of probability, the person who offended you probably simply did not know how you would react to this. Few people have the intention of offending everyone they meet. However, even in this case, you can take the spoken words as a joke, and then forget about them as something of little importance.
Be smarter than the one who offended you
Yes, looking down on other people is not good. However, this expression is most appropriate for conveying its meaning to readers. Remember how in childhood adults told us: "Just be smarter." Of course, for a child, such a phrase sounds rather incomprehensible - how can you be smarter when another person offended me? However, this is the whole point. Even if the other persondeliberately offended you, then you will annoy him much more if you do not react in any way to such stupidity. Just try to think of the offender as a person who does not understand anything in dealing with people. You will not be offended by a child who hits you so that you run after him?
Be aware of the consequences that await you
Resentment is an emotion that can lead to catastrophic consequences. For example, if you are offended by your boyfriend for not texting you on time, then you can start destroying your relationship with your own hands. A man will not be close to the girl with whom he feels uncomfortable, so sooner or later such a relationship will end in a breakup.
"Do not hold a grudge, and life will definitely get better" - these are not just words that many psychologists say. If you focus all the time on the negative actions of other people, then failures will haunt you one after another. Try to discard such thoughts, but do not forget about the consequences that await if you start to take offense at someone again.
Learn to take responsibility for your actions
Only those people who do not know how to take responsibility for their own actions cry from resentment. Do you think you are not to blame for the fact that someone close to you offended? How guilty! After all, you could just ignore these words. And now, instead of engaging in self-development, you shed tears in your pillow and look for the answer to the question why life is sounfair. Some time will pass, and you will realize that the reason for resentment was actually quite petty, but the time spent cannot be returned.
You should understand that life can be very cruel. Anything can happen. However, some people continue to move towards the intended goal, despite the difficulties that have arisen, while others remain in place and try to find an excuse for themselves. Understand that resentment will not lead to anything good. Even if a person apologizes for his act and promises to improve, it is unlikely that it will become much easier for you. Steel is hardened at high temperatures. In real life, the role of temperature is played by various everyday situations that can break or harden you, like a steel blade.
Don't lose your awareness
What you shouldn't do in life is lose your temper in stressful situations. You must always be aware of where you are and what you are doing. If what you are doing now does not bring you any benefit or does not move you towards your intended goal, then you are living your life in vain. There is no benefit to be derived from resentment towards another person. Being offended by a relative or friend, at best, you are marking time, and at worst, you are degrading. If you constantly repeat to yourself the phrase: "I have control over the situation in which I am now," then no one in the whole world will be able to offend you. Therefore, try to observe your actions from the side, so as not to become part of a game called"Resentment".
Conclusion and video
We hope that now you will be able to learn not to be offended by other people. In order to properly consolidate the information you read, we recommend that you watch a short video from the author of the LNP direction (liquidation of negative programs) Dmitry Moskovtsev. This well-known video blogger has quite good popularity on the Internet and knows a lot about psychology. After watching this video to the end, you will forever decide how to behave with offenders and how not to be offended by other people at all. Rest assured, these skills will prove extremely useful in today's world.
As you can see, in order to stop being offended by the environment, it is not at all necessary to follow some tricky methods in the field of psychology. It will be enough just to understand that resentment will not lead you to anything good, but on the contrary, it will attract new troubles into your life. If you do not want to plunge headlong into difficulties, then start self-development today. Of course, at first it will be quite difficult not to be offended by people, but over time you will understand how to do it correctly. Dear readers, what do you think about how best to avoid feeling offended? Perhaps you had to face him in the real world and were able to overcome him?
