As the hero of one of the most popular series of the past decade, the eccentric doctor Gregory House, liked to say - "Everyone lies." Is it so? Statistics show that even the most sincere and open people periodically tell others lies. Why does a person lie and what pushes him to do so?
Why?
There are several main reasons that push a person to present the real situation in completely different colors or completely hide some facts. Most often a person lies when:
- fear of offending or hurting the person for whom this or that information is intended;
- fears that he will be criticized or condemned, does not want to be punished for some of his offense (just like in childhood, yes:));
- strives to show itself from the best side than it actually is.
A rarer, but also possible reason why a person lies may be a rich fantasy and an inability to distinguish fiction from reality.
How to tell?
About lie detection bynon-verbal signals (facial expressions, gestures, etc.) have already been said and written a lot. However, the topic of how to understand that a person is cunning, according to his speech, is much less often touched upon. Meanwhile, even if you lose sight of any non-verbal sign, you can analyze how a person speaks in any case.
1. Ask questions. As a general rule, people who lie are more focused on what they say than how. Therefore, it is likely that a person, without noticing it, will answer your question with words that were uttered by you a couple of seconds ago. For example, if you ask "Did you break the computer?" and you will hear in response something like “No, I didn’t break the computer” - this is one of the first signs that you have a liar in front of you.
2. Often, lie detection is performed by the tempo and intonation of speech. A person forced to come up with an explanation on the go will speak a little slower than usual. If he had time to come up with an “alibi” for himself, then, most likely, the speech would be a little faster (of course, you need to have time to say everything before you forget!). When a person lies, he can often add a huge amount of small and insignificant details to his story.
3. Long pauses in speech and grammatically incorrect sentences, frequent repetitions are another sign of a lie.
4. If you changed the subject of the conversation, and the interlocutor actively supported you in this, relaxed significantly, it means that the previous topic was unpleasant for him. It is likely that you have not heard fromnot a single true word from him.
5. Try asking the other person to put the events in reverse order. If a person tells the truth, he will easily do it. But the liar will start to get lost and panic.
Instead of afterword
We found out the main reasons why a person lies, as well as several ways to check the sincerity of your interlocutor. A large amount of information about lies in all its manifestations, etc. can be obtained on the Web - try to search for materials on such an interesting topic as a lie polygraph.
However, so that you never have to find out why a person is lying and think about how to deal with it - try to always be extremely honest with others yourself. “As it comes around, it will respond” - do not forget this simple truth!
