The child is 7 years old. A new frontier in life begins. The kid goes to the stage of growing up, goes to school. And then the parents begin to sound the alarm, they say, the child is uncontrollable, does not obey, grimaces. The main thing is not to panic, in order to painlessly and competently overcome this difficult stage, you need to understand and learn about the reasons for this behavior.
Psychological characteristics of the development of a child of 7 years old
This is a turning point in self-realization. The kid begins to coordinate behavior with established moral norms and rules. This is a difficult psychological stage in the life of a child, because he still cannot control his emotions and restrain feelings. Feels the need for respect. It is important for a small person to feel like a person. Only by satisfying the desires of the child, you can build a trusting warm relationship.
It is necessary to encourage the independence of the child, because this contributesdevelopment of intelligence and initiative, do not punish severely for misconduct. Otherwise, the feeling of guilt will become a stumbling block on the path to self-realization. And, of course, the parenting style will influence the character of the child. Democratic conditions for leadership will become more comfortable and acceptable.
First graders are more emotionally developed than before. And it depends on the experience gained outside the walls of the house. Children's naive fears are replaced by new, conscious fears, the main of them is the relationship with peers. And this becomes a priority for them, rather than academic success and interaction with the teacher.
The worldview, needs and desires of the child change. This is a normal and natural process. And so we smoothly approached the question of why a crisis occurs in children of seven years old.
What does the term "age crisis" mean
It was introduced into use by L. S. Vygotsky, who meant by it a holistic restructuring of the personality as the next stage of growing up sets in. According to him, the crisis is a critical peak in the individual development of a person. Happens at the junction of two ages.
Tipping point features:
- There are no clear time limits. The escalation occurs in the middle of the crisis and is the highest point.
- There is a difficult education. This is an unwillingness to learn, to build relationships with others, experiences.
- Characteristically negative development of the process. The child becomes inactive, indifferent.
Distinguish crisis:
- Newborn.
- One year.
- Three years. A period of stubbornness and denial.
- Seven years old. It was opened earlier than all the others. Characterized by unstable mental development, the desire to take the position of an adult. Self-esteem acts as a neoplasm.
- Thirteen.
- Seventeen and others.
It flows differently for everyone depending on the environment. So, a crisis is a series of internal changes in a child with minor external factors.
Let's look at the main symptoms
Developmental psychology and developmental psychology of a preschool child will help to understand this issue. So, the crisis falls on the adjacent border of preschool and primary school age, the signals of which are:
- Loss of naive ease. Previously, behavior was based purely on desires. Now, before any action, the kid will think about what his price will be.
- Antics. Mental isolation pushes to play other people's roles. The child becomes different, portraying someone, hiding the truth.
- Closed. Children often, because of their fears, experience mental anxiety, worrying, they simply hide it inside.
It's hard not to notice the character traits of a 7-year-old child. The temper changes dramatically, irascibility, aggressiveness and even rudeness can be traced. Sometimes this manifests itself in an extreme form: in the form of damage to objects, disobedience. The child does not make contact, sometimes showing dissatisfaction with the refusal of food and drink.
There are also opposite signscrisis in a 7-year-old child, when parents and teachers are faced with excessive passivity and absent-mindedness. Children have a hard time, as they need to quickly adapt to new conditions. To have a better understanding of the character of a seven-year-old child, let's turn to developmental psychology.
Preschool and primary school age
First, let's find out what developmental psychology does. It studies the development of the individual at different age stages of his life. There are no clear boundaries between the stages of growing up. Everyone's formation and involution proceeds individually.
When making the transition from one age stage to another, a person experiences a so-called crisis. The old system of relationships with the outside world is collapsing and a new one is being formed. And, as a rule, this is accompanied by psychological difficulties, both for the person himself and for those who interact with him.
The first crises an individual goes through in a year, three and seven years (the latter is a transitional period from preschool to adolescence). So, primary school age is the pinnacle of childhood. At this stage, a new logic of thinking is formed in the child. His worldview, values are changing, a new status appears at school.
But if you take a four-year-old kid, unflattering comments addressed to him, some insults or annoyances do not leave traces in his memory and do not affect the process of becoming his personality. Only some preschoolers have anxiety and low self-esteem, due to the fact that discontent and a high level of exactingness prevail in the family. Or schoolchildren meetwho have always been admired and praised, with a very high opinion of their person. All this is not the result of one's own emotional experience, but the result of assimilation of the constantly repeated assessment of parents and relatives, friends.
And when parents complain that their children do not show interest in learning, get tired quickly, do not want to go to school - this only indicates that by the end of the preschool age period, the level of preparedness for school. So, thanks to developmental psychology and developmental psychology, we learned about the characteristics of preschool children.
Reasons for atypical behavior
At three years old, the child becomes independent, and the crisis of 7 years in children is characterized by the formation and recognition of personality. So, to the reasons:
- Analysis of one's own feelings. Begins to recognize emotions. Meaningfully distinguishes between events that cause sadness and joy. And since it is difficult for the baby to cope with emotions, he shows aggression and disobedience.
- The need for new knowledge. He actively learns the world around him, the previous games are not enough, he begins to copy adults.
- Going to school. The event is marked by a change of environment. The child cannot yet set goals on his own, it is difficult for him to realize the essence of success.
- Getting a new social status. This is due to the change in the field of activity. If for a child of 6–7 years old role-playing was a priority, then when they enter the first grade, the main thing is educational work. He has to learngain knowledge and use it correctly.
Physiological reasons also play a big role, such as the dynamic growth of the body and the development of the brain. The question arises, how long does the crisis of 7 years last in children? Everyone is different, because it depends on many components and the environment in which the child lives, as well as physiological characteristics. It can be latent and mild, protracted and problematic, and last from a month to a year and a half. This is where parental support is essential. How to recognize it?
Let's talk about how the crisis of 7 years manifests itself in a child. The boy copies the behavior of adults. Often repeating the phrases heard from the male. Sometimes they are obscene, for example: "She is a fool, because all women are stupid." Or something like this: “I said, period!”. At this moment, you should not sharply pull him up and scold him. It is necessary for the father or grandfather to explain competently and calmly why this should not be said, because the mother ceases to be an authority for him. At the same time, he can operate with a phrase, they say, why can dad say that.
They can even imitate smoking or clink glasses like adults with a cup of compote. In this case, you should also not scream and beat the child, you need to explain clearly.
The crisis in a 7-year-old girl is expressed in imitation of adult women. They become interested in their mother's cosmetics, perfumes and outfits. Trying on jewelry. And here it is also better for a father or grandfather to work with girls. You can say, they say, what a beauty you are without any makeup. If a similar phrase is uttered by a mother or sister who usesall these female things, the words of the baby will be perceived with hostility, with envy and resentment. Why can't she? It will seem to the girl that they do not want to let her into the adult world. Children need to be taken care of. Be with them in a trusting relationship, talk like adults, spend more time together.
What is the peculiarity of the crisis of this age period
The first thing to take as a rule is that you cannot ignore any atypical behavior of a child, whether it is a crisis of a 7-year-old girl or a boy. This can lead to serious consequences, such as failure in school, as well as closeness, low self-esteem, and even a deep stage of neurosis.
The crisis of 7 years in children at preschool age changes their worldview, they begin to distinguish between "us" and "them". The behavior shows prudence. To get the desired result, that is, the benefit, they first lose the situation. And any criticism from the parents will be perceived with hostility. If praise is not received for the simplest task completed, screaming and crying will follow.
The crisis of the age of 7 in children (primary schoolchildren) is also characterized by excessive curiosity. The child will be interested in serious issues, such as politics, moral principles, family relationships. And only for the reason to analyze the knowledge of adults.
Children understand that they are not perfect, strive for knowledge and dream of achievements. Their immediacy disappears. The temper becomes ostentatious, mannered, and at the same time, relations with parents are strained.
Pointview of psychologists
There are two stages of the crisis:
- The first stage is characterized by rapid development. The result is an imbalance in the relationship between the child and the outside world.
- With the competent work of parents, everything will stabilize. There is a successful formation of a new personality. The child is able to recognize and analyze needs. And the knowledge gained will help to quickly adapt to the new society.
Psychologists recommend sending children to school from the age of seven. Because until this age they are dominated by play activity. It is difficult for them to rebuild, and this causes problems with behavior. But still, you understand that you are faced with a crisis of 7 years with a child. What to do?
Don't panic
This is a natural process. For starters, you need to calm down. The main thing is to behave correctly, and everything will pass safely. So:
- Do not deprive a child of freedom, in any case. He must deal with his feelings on his own. You are only required to control the process and unobtrusively guide the child.
- Remove limitless guardianship. Let the child be independent. Feeling this, the baby will turn for help. And then you will have the opportunity to show care.
- Don't discuss your children with your girlfriends. Otherwise, trusting relationships will never be built.
- Preparation for a new way of life should be gradual and collaborative. Show the child the future class, talk to the teacher. Follow the new routine together.
In a friendthe environment will be much easier for the baby to adapt. To painlessly overcome the crisis of 7 years in a child, psychologists give some advice.
Recommendations from experts
Of course, each child needs a different approach, but psychologists give general instructions that do no harm. So:
- Don't order! Everything needs to be presented in a playful way. You can tell an instructive story about the right behavior, using the example of the main character.
- Be equal. Never put yourself above a child. This is already a person capable of behavior based on his experience.
- Let the kid join the discussion. He already knows how to realize and form an opinion. Give the opportunity to express it, only by teaching how to properly present arguments. So, you will show that you respect his decision.
- Don't switch abruptly from toys to books. Do it gradually, through play.
- No need to force the child to strictly adhere to the daily routine. This will bore him, let him choose the order of things on his own.
- Communicate as equals so your baby can trust you. Together it is easier to go through school adaptation.
- Don't treat your child like property. No need to grow a copy. Understand yourself, because the baby is much more difficult.
Always be a friend to your child. Competent actions will help to overcome all age crises.
Let's give some more useful tips
To easily cope with the crisis of 7 years in a child, psychologists advise:
- You candeviate a little from the routine of affairs during the day or in the evening, but as for night sleep, it should be full. It is necessary to put the baby to bed no later than 9 hours.
- Keep your meals still four times a day. Do not forget about vitamins.
- Don't load your child with additional information. He gets enough knowledge at school. Better distract the baby, help get rid of stress, go for a walk together, let them ride a bike or rollerblade, kick a ball.
- Feed your interest in learning. Buy a set of a young chemist or biologist, work out together.
- Teach proper communication, ask the right question and answer correctly.
- Let the child become independent. No need to write letters and numbers for him, fold a briefcase and tie shoelaces. The baby should have his own duties, such as dusting, taking out the trash, sweeping the floor, collecting toys and books, and so on.
And most importantly, be patient. In no case should you break loose, shout, and even more so use obscene language. This will aggravate the situation, the child will close. Just imagine what will happen in the soul of a baby?!
And yet, let him choose interesting preparatory courses, take him to the sports section. There he will find new friends, will learn to communicate. Study together, write numbers and letters, speak out loud, solve simple mathematical and logical problems, draw, sculpt from plasticine, make a fun collage.
Which games to choose
Manyparents forget that their first grader is still a child. Role-playing games remain their favorite pastime. Playing in the hospital, shop, school, daughters, mothers, children learn new social roles, learn to communicate. The main thing is to direct the child in the right direction if he tries on the image of a bad hero. A boy can be captivated by puzzles, a designer, and a girl can be taught the basics of knitting, cooking dinner together.
Classes for children 7 years old can be of a different kind. Play Cities. Everyone remembers this exciting game. For example, you pronounce the word Moscow, the child comes up with the name of the city with the last letter of the previous word - Arkhangelsk, and so on. Fascinating and educational.
Remember the Crocodile. You can play together. One thinks of an inanimate or animate object to himself, and then shows it with the help of his hands and facial expressions. Others guess.
All games should be aimed at developing socialization, thinking and skills, such as compliance, mutual respect, the ability to negotiate and so on. Praise the child, and not just like that, but for a specific action.
Do not forget about education
This process is not just about teaching and punishing. It is very important in childhood to lay in the character of a child such qualities as humanity, compassion, decency, responsibility, empathy, and also to teach to be kind, affectionate, gentle, caring.
Praise him for good deeds, a job well done. If the child cheated a little, you should not scold him, especiallyin public. You need to calmly explain that working carelessly is bad and everything needs to be redone.
Teach your child to anticipate the outcome of a situation. For example, offer to help clean your apartment so you can go play outside. If he refuses, you should not force him, but let him know that without his help you will be busy with household chores longer, and the walk will have to be postponed, and there will be less time for it.
To teach discipline will help the rules established at home. For example, do not turn on the tablet without the permission of adults. Or, to keep the house clean, do not leave personal items.
And in conclusion, we will give a few more recommendations for adults
Often, children, getting into a new environment, withdraw into themselves, are afraid of communication, become notorious and insecure. Here the task of parents is to see this in their baby and help raise self-esteem, become more determined. Always praise the child, say that no one bakes pancakes better than him, sweeps, sings, and so on. This is important.
Let your kid choose a sports section or some interesting courses. This will broaden your horizons, give you the opportunity to make new friends. He will cease to be afraid of communication, will become more liberated. Learn to listen to the child. Help always and in everything, and then no age crisis will be terrible for you.
