Male self-esteem is that area of consciousness, hitting which you can undermine self-confidence and completely destroy your priorities. It does not matter whether the ego of the stronger sex was hurt intentionally or unintentionally. But if such situations are repeated often, with a high degree of confidence we can talk about the imminent death of the union. Even the most calm, meekly obeying women men sooner or later come to the decision to break off relations. Experienced experts give their recommendations on how not to hurt a man's ego.
The essence of the concept
Men's pride is formed throughout a man's life. The representative of the stronger sex is born into the world to become a conqueror, protector and earner. Nature created him strong and courageous, able to find a worthy partner for procreation, protect her from the encroachments of other applicants, and also provide a woman with a roof over her head andfood for sustenance. These functions are a priority for any male individual and do not depend on his upbringing and desire. Everything is laid down by nature in the mind of a guy, so the slightest violation of the boundaries or ignoring his main functions on the part of a woman is perceived with hostility.
Basic behaviors of a woman
There are two ways to hurt a man's ego. We are talking about conscious and unconscious provocation on the part of a woman. The first and second options are fundamentally different:
- Deliberate provocation. This is the behavior of a woman who tries to keep everything under her control. She sees everything and understands perfectly well that her remarks or caustic clarifications are unpleasant for a man. By doing this on purpose, the girl achieves the complete destruction of a man as a person, in order to establish her unspoken rules. A woman mistakenly believes that she can thus keep her missus next to her for a long period. A man will consider himself completely dependent on her and will not go anywhere. You will have to disappoint the lady, because sooner or later the guy will find the strength in himself and will definitely break out from under oppression. The only excuse can be a situation when a woman did not value relationships and deliberately hurt male pride in order to leave as soon as possible.
- Unintentional provocation. We are talking about the wrong behavior of a woman who is trying to increase her self-esteem at the expense of her partner. She is sure that she is right and does not notice the moment whenstarts to cross the line. At the same time, the girl sincerely loves the guy and does not understand what exactly she is doing wrong. Most often, such relationships end in parting, and both partners experience severe disappointment. To prevent this from happening, you should consider the most common mistakes in the behavior of the fair sex.
Mistake 1. Remarks in front of strangers
To the question of how to infringe on male pride, without even noticing it, there is one answer: constantly make remarks to a guy in the presence of strangers. Some women naively believe that for the best effect and motivation for action, a man needs to be shamed in front of friends or relatives. For example, a guy brings a not very big salary or forgets (or does not know how) to fix plumbing in the house. The girl voices her claims to make her partner feel ashamed, and upon returning home, he literally from the threshold began to troubleshoot or look for a new job.
It's safe to say that a man would never do this. Even if he considers the remark true, consent will infringe on his male pride. He will fundamentally and defiantly do everything the other way around, because outsiders found out about his insolvency, and his soulmate became the initiator of the whole action.
How to avoid such a mistake
Never voice your claims in front of strangers, do not make comments, do not pull. Such behavior looks unworthy, since it offends not onlybeloved man, but also all strangers. Nobody likes to be present at personal "showdowns". A reasonable decision would be to praise your man or even attribute to him those achievements that are not yet there. For example, say (if asked about it) that while the salary is small, but the guy is doing everything to increase it. The man simply did not have time for broken plumbing, he will fix the tap next weekend. Be sure that your faithful will try to justify the trust and will immediately begin to correct the situation.
Mistake 2: Ignoring a man's decisions
If you constantly challenge or simply ignore the decisions of the stronger sex, a blow to male pride is guaranteed. A man always claims to be the head of the family, and this is normal according to all generally accepted canons. He is obliged to support his family and do the hardest work. But what if this function is not constantly performed by him, and the woman is forced to pull everything on herself? Even this serious situation does not give a woman the right not to listen to her partner's point of view. If she neglects his advice and focuses only on her decisions, the guy will stop taking the initiative altogether. He will decide that he is being neglected as a man and will go looking for those women from whom he can get recognition.
Never argue with a man about his point of view and do not impose your ideas. He sees the situation in his own way and has every right to do so. If the guy's offerit is absurd and there is no way to agree with him, you need to connect all your feminine charm and tactfully offer your own version. By loyally explaining all the advantages of your choice, you can get a stunning result. The guy will decide that this idea came to his mind. Do not disappoint him, let him think so, but you can put yourself "excellent" for the wise behavior of a loving partner.
Mistake 3. Remembering ex-lovers
The reaction, which will clearly show that it hurt male pride, will follow after the mention of a former lover. This can manifest itself in the form of anger, irritation and even aggression. Any man in his soul is the owner, and it is terribly painful for him to realize that other men loved his woman. Memories that the previous one was good can provoke the emergence of inferiority complexes. Talking about how bad it was with an ex-lover will be less painful, but still unpleasant. Constant comparisons will surely lead to parting.
Don't voice your memories of what is long gone, because it looks unconvincing. If it was so good with the former, why are you still not together? Or did his image become perfect after breaking up? You need to understand that such memories hurt the current partner and irritate his ego. Girls need to put themselves in the place of their boyfriend, and it is recommended to return to the past only as needed. Can't callhe althy jealousy can only harm the current relationship.
Mistake 4. Making fun of men
Wounded male vanity arises due to ridicule from a woman. Each representative of the stronger sex has memories coming from childhood. He was small and did not know how much, he had to comprehend everything gradually. It's about strength, courage, experience. Today, the guy wants to feel like a brave defender, and he wants to forget periods of insolvency forever. That is why it is very painful for him to realize that the woman he loves sees his weaknesses. The man feels humiliated and begins to defend himself. A simple, unobtrusive joke can become a reason for a serious conflict (not to mention serious things).
The usual remark in a joking manner can create a situation where male pride is hurt. What to do to a woman who did not want to offend her lover, psychologists advise. You should not focus on the joke or repeat it twice, you need to translate the topic of conversation as correctly as possible. Show with all your appearance that the conversation has a playful form and in no way claims to be sarcasm. In order not to offend your man in the future, you need to be extremely attentive to the words. A categorical ban lies on the topic of appearance, discussion of his family members, intimate opportunities, favorite hobbies, etc. Jokes in any form on this topic lead to conflicts or even partings.
Mistake No. 5. Authoritarian behavior of a woman
Very often the representatives of the weaker sex forget about their mission andtrying to take the reins of government into their own hands. It happens that with her commanding ambitions a woman hurt male pride and did not even notice it. This common habit of considering only one's point of view, disregarding the partner's opinion, suppressing him morally leads to significant aggravation of relations.
A man seeks to protect his beloved, dreams of being her only salvation in all situations. And she does not even allow him to take care of herself, because she prefers to decide for herself when and to what extent she needs it.
Tip
Don't switch roles, because it will not lead to good. A man will endure the suppression of his ego for the time being: either he will not stand it and leave, or he will turn into a spineless person. Such a development of the situation will definitely not suit the girl, since she does not have enough strength to perform male functions. If you want to see your relationship harmonious, each of the partners should remain in their positions and not climb into someone else's territory.
Mistake 6. Showdown
The fair sex is very fond of sorting things out. As a result of multiple conversations, a woman realizes that she has hurt male pride. What to do in a situation where the partner does not want to find out at all who is right and who is wrong? A woman must understand that the psychology of a man is fundamentally different from the female logic. The guy is used to acting, not reasoning, and all discussions of personal problems seem ridiculous to himand meaningless. He wants to hear a call to action, not multiple complaints.
What to do in this case?
If a woman is a lover of showdown, she needs to be constantly ready for a mutual confrontation with her partner. For example, she wants to talk about a topic that interests her, which concerns the analysis of a past not-so-good situation. The man is categorically against "wasting time on stupid talk." The girl begins to insist on a conversation, get nervous, insult or affect her partner's pride. Such clarifications lead to an inevitable parting. Therefore, girls should remember that the analysis of events and feelings can be entrusted to a friend or mother, but not to her lover, since he cannot bear talking in large numbers.
Mistake 7 Manipulation
Men's pride is hurt when a guy realizes he's being manipulated. Each representative of the stronger sex can apply a lot of effort to get a certain result. He is trying to care for, help, pay attention to the girl and fulfill all her whims in order to achieve his own goal. Usually this goal is intimate relationships, since (in the opinion of a man) sex is proof of a woman's love. He perceives any signs of attention from the girl as a call to action. But when the guy realizes that he was used, the whole world goes out from under his feet. This is painfully reflected in his ego, as it infringes on his manhood.
Don't humiliate a man's ego. If there are no plans to develop a serious relationship, the girl should behave accordingly. It is not recommended to accept gifts, ask for help, or act ambiguously (excessively flirtatious, hinting or flirting). Otherwise, you can provoke indignation or even aggression on the part of the guy and hear a lot of unpleasant things about yourself. A man's wounded pride will allow him to be very inventive in his revenge, so you should be wary of such actions.
Conclusion
Women who dream of a harmonious long-term relationship with the stronger sex need to know how to amuse the male pride of their chosen ones. To do this, you need to understand them, treat them with respect, praise them more often and love them more. No guy will remain indifferent to a girl who appreciates him. But at the same time, do not forget about self-esteem. After all, only equal tender and sensitive relationships will keep the fire of love alive throughout life.
