When it comes to a real man, as a rule, they mean a self-confident person who is ready to take everything he wants from life, even if sometimes he has to go over the heads of rivals. However, there is such a type as a feminine guy. He is characterized by softness of disposition and lack of aggression. Why?
Building an effeminate character
Female character traits are manifested in people who were brought up exclusively by grandmothers, mothers, aunts and sisters. There was no one to give them an example of male behavior. Mothers often do not allow children to fight, climb trees, get involved in fun alterations. If a boy is taught to sit quietly on the sidelines because the world is full of danger, there is a high probability that he will not crawl out of his cozy nest either in his 20s or 30s or 40s.
It is sometimes useful for children to beat their knees on the asph alt, to tear their sneakers while playing football. This is really a small price to pay for the acquired life experience. When mom talks about everything, she acquires the status of authority, and then it is extremely difficult to get rid of overprotection, start doing something yourself, get out from under her wing, and even more so take overresponsibility for one's own family.
Parents sometimes protect us from everything except their own care. Building a protective wall around the child, the mother sometimes does not notice how the barricade turns into a cage.
As a result, the young man develops an effeminate character. Instead of solving difficult situations, coping with them, he avoids them, prefers to accept worse living conditions than to take risks and achieve the desired heights. Such people often do not even make plans, because they do not believe in their implementation into reality. For them, improvement is always somewhere in the realm of fantasy, an impossible dream that is too good to be true.
How to recognize the passive-feminine type of a man
The feminine guy moves smoothly, he has graceful features and a calm voice. Although there are also people who speak with excessive pathos and mannerisms, show emotions beyond measure, extol the importance of their own mood. In some ways they resemble scandalous ladies. But if a woman sometimes paints a slight harmfulness, speaks of her passion and temperament, then the representatives of the stronger sex immediately lose their masculinity in the eyes of others.
It's good when it's just a mask, and a man is joking in this way, but he can switch to a serious tone at any moment and solve the problem that has appeared on his way. For some people, femininity is really just an image. Much depends on what exactly the person took from the traits of the opposite sex.
Stereotypes
There is a lot ofnumber of stereotypes. Sometimes it is believed that an effeminate man is one who does not watch football with a bottle of beer in his hand and would rather go to the theater than go fishing. There was an opinion that the standard is James Bond in a chic suit with a gun, or at least a bad guy with stubble and on a motorcycle in a smoky leather jacket.
Subconsciously and instinctively, girls pay attention to self-confident and sometimes even arrogant men, and the stamp “feminine guy” is hung on any quiet guy who finds the pleasure of measuring muscles and fighting for territory seems doubtful.
Responsive and understanding people
Someone is led to excessive arrogance. But girls like effeminate guys who not only achieve them and enjoy their own achievement, as another conquered peak, but are capable of sympathy, empathy, simple spiritual conversation. During their school years, women's attention rarely shines on them, but when the mind takes over hormones, the ladies understand that, in addition to a sexual partner, it would be nice to find a friend in one bottle.
People who cultivate their masculinity are often self-confident, treat a woman as a beautiful thing, whose main task is to adorn and please them. All light and attention should be directed to him, and the companion is just a beautiful background element, attendants or a toy.
Unadapted to real life
However, one should not categorically say that an effeminate man is a higher form of life thanan ordinary guy who loves to dig under the hood of a car in his garage and drink beer with friends. There are overly narcissistic and little capable of loving anyone but themselves, ex alting their own beauty and imaginary superiority over other people.
Such a person thinks that he is too handsome for the gray, garbage-filled city streets and crowded city transport, that his sublime mental organization allows him to look down on others, to parasitize on them.
It is usually hard for such people to explain that in order to eat and pay utility bills, you need to work. And sometimes it can even be a job at a construction site or a cashier in a supermarket. And they come to this from time to time, because at a time when ordinary people are fussing and making plans for the future, a handsome guy thinks that his appearance, charm, sense of humor and uniqueness will definitely not allow him to be on the street.
But then the harsh realities of life emerge from the mist of illusions. Guys with a female appearance at such moments turn into pretentious cynics and fatalists, disillusioned with life, geniuses not recognized by society, ideal against the backdrop of a cruel world. Instead of changing something, they prefer to blame others for what happened.
Family life with a feminine man
Too handsome a man can be capricious, and even more trouble with him than with a child. His gallantry and courtesy is enough for the candy-bouquet period. After the couple moves in together, such a personliterally sits on a woman's neck. She cooks, does laundry, cleans, and works, while he "rewards" her with the opportunity to contemplate his beautiful face every day and be nearby, an opportunity that ordinary mortals do not have. A dubious gift of fate.
He is unlikely to take responsibility for the household, he will resist when entrusting him with some business, talk about his fatigue and problems, and when he catches a cold, he will definitely write a will.
Many women love to take care of someone and even more - to suffer, to carry a cross and a noble burden, so they willingly take responsibility for their beloved. When he talks about how bad he is, the fair sex blames herself, painfully looking for mistakes in her actions. Perhaps she lacked tenderness, but in the depths of his soul there is a bright and sincere light hidden by protective barricades.
Women are able to naively believe for years that in fact their chosen one is just a fallen angel, painfully hit by cruel realities, undeservedly condemned, who has gone through severe trials. And only she will be able to revive his faith in himself and awaken masculinity.
For selfish natures, such partners are energy donors and a means of self-affirmation. From time to time they are thrown in their direction with sharp remarks and hints that they will do just fine without them.
Why aren't they abandoned?
A woman only clings to her “jewel” more. Because he is so special, unique,unusual. There are few of them. Moreover, everyone is already married, so you need to rejoice at this. A little more effort - and he will definitely trust her, become sincere. In addition, in society he is known as a polite, courteous and gallant person, the dream of every woman. How can you resist the temptation to brag to your friends? Misunderstandings happen when a child comes into the family.
If a guy is very feminine, sometimes he is able to love only himself and does not find much pleasure in giving something to someone, wasting his invaluable time and energy on at least 18 years of growing heir. His chosen one has little time to run around him, which is why the passive-feminine type feels depressed and unnecessary, despite the fact that the family really needs him. Only we are talking about help and care in the real world, and not praising his subtle mental organization.
Hidden ambitions
The stronger sex wants to feel like they're in charge, and if they don't succeed in business and public life, they may use the most ridiculous ways to establish their own importance. However, from the outside, it looks like the barking of a small dog that will never actually bite.
Behind external obedience hidden aggression can be hidden. No wonder they say that quiet lunatics are much more dangerous than violent ones, because at first glance you cannot recognize them. A person should give free rein to feelings.
Feminine character often develops because of hidden fears to sufferdefeat. It is better not to try to do something at all than to disgrace yourself in front of everyone. Masculinity is, first of all, the ability to go towards your goal and achieve it at all costs. If the absence of these traits makes a person uncomfortable, closes the door to promising achievement in front of him, stops him from taking steps towards dreams, they work with a psychotherapist who helps to get rid of complexes and open his masculine "I", to believe in himself.
How a man can properly use femininity in his character
In behavior, the passive-feminine character is manifested by compliance, gentleness and politeness. In today's world, these qualities are useful. Gone are the days when to achieve success in society it was enough to have big muscles and fists to win the biggest piece of meat for the family. Today, money is earned through the ability to communicate with people, courtesy, observation and insight.
So a feminine guy can be an excellent breadwinner and a wonderful family man, especially if he is complemented by a confident and practical wife. There are also a lot of decisive ladies with a masculine character, so there is a buyer for each product. Difficulties appear when a person is not able to defend his point of view, positions and beliefs, bends under the circumstances.
There is nothing wrong with feminine features. Another thing is how to use them. Unrealized plans, lost opportunities turn a shy person into a domestic tyrant. Such menthey can be courteous and timid when dealing with higher-ranking officials, but they can recoup their loved ones. In order to at least somehow assert themselves, they show their "masculinity" or its remnants where no one will fight back and will not be able to trample their self-esteem even deeper into the dirt.
How to build confidence
Effeminism is not always limited to character traits. A guy with a feminine figure has wide hips compared to the waist. This does not fit with the classic athletic triangle of shoulders and torso. Such people are very complex, but they are helped by playing sports, building muscle mass in the shoulder girdle.
Going to the gym has a positive effect in psychological terms, like any sports circle. Physical activity relieves stress and increases self-confidence. So, in addition to unwanted deposits on the hips, a person gets rid of fears and bad thoughts. To improve mood and increase courage, sometimes it is enough just to run in the evening or beat a pear.
It's quite another thing - a handsome guy who uses charm and the ability to analyze the emotional background of others in order to achieve the location of friends, family and superiors. Polite treatment, courtesy open many doors in society, new steps in the career ladder. Such people are like water flowing around rocks instead of crashing into them.
The appearance of a guy is no less important than a girl's, although it is believed that for a man the main thing is a good sense of humor and a tightly stuffed wallet. But who's to say that beauty ispoorly? A well-groomed and stylish appearance is a plus for any person, whatever their gender. It is wrong to equate masculinity with sandals worn over socks and a drop of ketchup on a T-shirt.
Many guys pluck their eyebrows, dye their hair, use foundation, nail polish. Reasonable and moderate use of cosmetic products is not a crime at all. Nobody talks about extremes, but why not improve what can be improved? From a simple principle? Do you remember from Pushkin: "You can be an efficient person and think about the beauty of nails …"? In moderation, all this will only make the appearance more attractive.
It should be understood that a guy's feminine face is not a sign of his depravity and unscrupulousness, or, on the contrary, holiness and high moral ideals. There are many hidden details behind the appearance that you can’t see at first glance.
Femininity in a man manifests itself in different ways - in a positive or negative way, just as a woman can be self-confident and sexy, or simply unkempt and doubt her own abilities. The habit of taking care of one's appearance, the ability to peacefully negotiate with people without pressure and pressure are qualities in which there is nothing to be ashamed of. They serve the individual only for the benefit.
