During the formation of a person, I really want to see an example to follow in front of me. This is absolutely logical - any person wants to have an authoritative image until one becomes whole and fully formed. What if a teenager chooses not a good example for himself at all? What to do when an adult needs such an idol? What is good and bad about imitation? These are all and other questions we will consider in this post.
Imitation in childhood
If you have children, or you could watch the children of relatives or friends, then you probably noticed that often the baby wants to "be like everyone else".
Such imitation is a normal children's reaction to the world during growing up, when peers act as a model for appearance and behavior. You should not limit the child in his desire to be like other guys, on the contrary, any prohibitions will cause misunderstanding.
Imitation in adolescence
The most acute question of role model arises in puberty. This is the time when boys and girls already identify themselves, but as individuals they are still immature. It's great if the authoritybecome older brothers or sisters, parents. But you need to understand that the child is constantly in a social environment, and there will definitely be those at school who look and behave "cool". For boys, these are guys who neglect teachers and lessons, drink alcohol and smoke. For girls, a role model is most often girls with a bright appearance, not without the help of cosmetics, dressing in revealing and sexy outfits and being popular with guys. If your exemplary daughter suddenly completely changed her wardrobe to an inappropriate one, in your opinion, she has new, older boyfriends - do not panic. But you shouldn't step aside either.
How to explain what is good and what is bad
Children are sensitive to the advice of those they respect. If you yourself smoke and use foul language, but forbid your child to do the same, then do not expect unquestioning obedience. Moreover, be sure that you will not be listened to. If you consider yourself a good example for your child, then you can have confidential conversations from time to time. But in no case do not lecture and do not be what the child considers a boring grouch. Your moralizing must be gracefully disguised. For example, these can be stories from personal experience or the experience of your friends.
Sort of like this: "There was a girl in our class, very similar to your Tanya. She was just as bright, she was friends with older guys. And so, in the tenth grade, she got pregnant from God knows who, gave birth to a child, but did not receive education. I saw her recently, she works as a saleswoman in our market, she looks terrible. "Do not draw further conclusions, like" you see, you will continue to equal her, it is not yet known what will happen to you, "otherwise the child will instantly figure you out. On the contrary, leave story unfinished, let your child summarize your "report" and take out for himself what is good and what is not.
When adults imitate
Many believe that intentional imitation is the prerogative of children or adolescents. No matter how! The most imitators are "adults", that is, those who are over twenty and under.. The fact is that an undecided child is normal. But a person who has passed puberty must certainly understand who he is! Not so simple. In the process of development, each of us in any case needs an example. If it was unsuccessful, we will eventually realize this, since life will not develop according to our idea, and the easiest way to change it will be to change yourself. Again the question arises of looking for an example, and then imitation of others becomes the answer. We unconsciously choose someone we know who seems successful, attractive, wholesome, and just as unconsciously begin to copy his style and lifestyle, ranging from minor habits and gait to appearance.
All other roles filled
Imitation is an opportunity to feel confident in a world where there are no rules of life. What we were told by parents in childhood, teachers, is refuted by our own life experience. We listen to the advice of others, without itindispensable, but still our life is not like anyone else's. All our successes, failures, happy days and darkest of them are the result of our behavior, and nothing else. While you are looking at others and looking for a worthy role model, your life, and not the other person's life, passes by. The only true thing left is to be yourself. However, how true this is, how difficult it is.
The hardest and easiest thing to do is to be yourself
Why is it hard to be yourself? The fact is that then you will have to be fully responsible for all your actions. When you imitate others, whether intentionally or not, you place some of the responsibility on those authorities. If something goes wrong in life, you can always say to yourself as a consolation: "It's all because I took an example from the wrong person." Meanwhile, you can be considered a formed personality only if you are ready to be responsible for all your actions. It turns out that in adulthood, imitation is a way to avoid responsibility, and nothing more.
