The theme of the relationship between children and parents, as well as human psychology in terms of behavior, is currently becoming increasingly relevant. Many mothers ask themselves: “Why did my child begin to behave differently at a certain period? Why did he become so restless, aggressive, hyperactive and problematic? Answers to these questions should be sought in the manuals of classical teachers such as L. S. Vygotsky, P. P. Blonsky, A. S. Makarenko, etc. But if you have absolutely no time for this, we suggest reading this article, to understand all the subtleties of child psychology, to study the types of disorders and behavioral disorders, as well as to find the right approach to its correction and upbringing of the child as a whole.
Voluntary and involuntary behavior
In psychology, there are two types of behavior: voluntary and involuntary. The first is possessed by organized children who show restraint and responsibility in business. They are ready to obey their own goals and the norms, laws established in society,rules of conduct, and also have a high discipline. Usually children with an arbitrary type of behavior are classified as too obedient and exemplary. But you must admit that this method of self-feeding is also not ideal.
That is why psychologists distinguish another type: involuntary (blind) behavior. Such children behave thoughtlessly and are often deprived of initiative, they prefer to ignore the rules and laws - they simply do not exist for such children. Violations gradually become systematic, the child stops responding to comments and reproaches in his direction, believing that he can do as he wants. And such behavior is also considered a deviation from the norm. You ask: what type is most acceptable for a child? Both behaviors require corrective help, which will be aimed at overcoming negative personality traits.
What is the reason for the deviations?
As you know, each person is individual, and to believe that the occurrence of deviations in the behavior of two children has the same reasons, in most cases is wrong. Sometimes violations can have a primary conditionality and are a feature of a person. For example, it can be a permanent change in mental processes, motor retardation or disinhibition, intellectual impairment, etc. Such deviations are called "neurodynamic disorders." The child may suffer from nervous irritability, constant emotional instability, and even sudden changes in behavior.
Aberrations in he althy children
If the emotional background of the child is normal and sufficiently stable, then the cause of psychological deviations can be failures, for example, in educational activities or communication and, as a result, the child's inability to cope with these difficulties on their own. Such children are very indecisive, passive, stubborn and aggressive. In this case, the main thing is to understand that the child performs these actions involuntarily, and even more so not in order to “annoy” someone. He simply cannot adapt to the situation and adapt to the development of events. Next, we will analyze in more detail certain types of behavior, namely their features, causes and methods of correction.
Hyperactive behavior
Hyperactivity is perhaps the most popular type of conduct disorder. Such children simply need increased physical activity. But that's part of the problem. When a child with hyperactive behavior enters a society with certain norms and routines prescribed in it, his nervous and muscular tension increases. The child cannot tolerate such prohibitions, resulting in a deterioration in attention, a decrease in working capacity, rapid fatigue and emotional discharge, expressed by motor restlessness and restlessness. And such behavior is just one of the disciplinary offenses.
It is much more difficult for these children to be in public places, in communication with peers and relatives it is very difficult for them to find a common language. Maladaptivebehavioral characteristics of children with hyperactivity indicate insufficiently formed regulatory mechanisms of the psyche, primarily self-control as the main circumstance and link in the formation of behavioral disorders.
Demonstrative behavior
With such behavior, the child deliberately and knowingly violates accepted norms and rules. Moreover, all his actions are addressed mainly to adults. Most often, this behavior manifests itself as follows: the child makes faces in the presence of adults, but if they do not pay attention to him, then this quickly passes. If the child is in the center, he continues to behave like a clown, demonstrating his swagger. An interesting feature of this behavior is that if adults make comments to the child about his incorrect behavior, he begins to show himself even more actively and fool around in every possible way. Thus, the child, with the help of non-verbal actions, seems to say: “I am doing something that does not suit you. And I will continue to do so until you lose interest in me.”
Lack of attention is the main reason
This way of behavior is used by the baby mainly in cases where he lacks attention, that is, communication with adults is deficient and formal. As you know, behavior and the psyche are closely related, so sometimes demonstrative behavior is used by children and in fairly prosperous families, where the child is given enough attention. In these situations, self-denigrationpersonality is used as an attempt to get out of the power and control of parents. By the way, unreasonable crying and nervousness in most cases is also used by a child to assert himself in front of adults. The child does not want to accept that he is subject to them, he must obey and obey in everything. On the contrary, he is trying to "take over" the elders, because he needs this to increase his own significance.
Protest behavior
Rebelliousness and excessive stubbornness, unwillingness to make contact, increased self-esteem - all this refers to the main forms of manifestation of protest behavior. At the age of three (and less), such sharp manifestations of negativism in the child's behavior can be considered the norm, but in the future this should be regarded as a behavioral disorder. If the child does not want to perform any action just because he was asked to do so or, even worse, ordered, then we can conclude that the child simply strives for independence, wants to prove to everyone that he is already independent and will not follow orders. Children prove their case to everyone regardless of the situation, even if they really realize that they are doing wrong. It is extremely important for these guys that everything is the way they want. It is unacceptable for them to reckon with the opinion of the older generation, and they always ignore generally accepted norms of behavior.
As a result, disagreements arise in relationships, and re-education without the help of a specialist becomes almost impossible. Most often, this behavior isa permanent form, especially when disagreements often arise in the family, but adults do not want to compromise, but simply try to educate the child with shouts and orders. Often, stubbornness and assertiveness are defined as the "spirit of contradiction." The child usually feels guilty and worried about his behavior, but nevertheless continues to behave like that again. The reason for this constant stubbornness is prolonged stress that the child cannot cope with alone, as well as intellectual impairment and overexcitability.
Therefore, the occurrence of a behavioral disorder can have different causes. To understand them means to find the key to the child, to his activity and activity.
Aggressive behavior
Aggressive behavior is purposeful and destructive. Using this view, the child deliberately resists the laws and norms of people's life in society, harms the “objects of attack” in every possible way, and these can be both people and things, causes negative emotions, hostility, fear and depression in those with whom he interacts.
Such actions can be carried out to directly achieve important goals and psychological relaxation. Self-affirmation and self-realization - this is what a child can behave too aggressively for. Aggression can be directed either at the object itself, which causes irritability, or at abstract objects that have nothing to do with it. The child in such cases is practically uncontrollable: start a fight with someone, destroy everything that comes to hand,throw tantrums - all this a child can do without a twinge of conscience, believing that these actions will not be punished. However, aggressiveness can also be manifested without physical assault, which means that other behavioral factors can be used. For example, a child may insult others, tease them and swear. These actions show an unmet need for self-worth.
Why and why does the child behave like this?
Showing aggression, the child feels his dubious superiority over others, strength and rebelliousness. The main causes of behavioral disorders are the problems and difficulties that children have because of their studies. Professionals call this neurotic disorder didactogeny. It is one of the main reasons leading to suicide. But education alone cannot be blamed for the child's excessive aggressiveness. The negative impact of computer games, the influence of the media and changes in the value system in relationships, disharmony in the family, namely the constant quarrels of parents and fights - all these factors can also have a negative impact on the child's psyche. If your child has become too impulsive, quick-tempered, anxious or emotionally unstable, then it's time to contact a psychologist or try to conduct a conversation yourself and find out what is the reason for the manifestation of aggression.
Infantility in behavior
If you notice that a child behaves out of age and childish habits are inherent in him, then the child can be considered infantile. Suchschoolchildren, engaged in quite serious activities, continue to see in everything only entertainment and play. For example, during lessons, a child, without even noticing it, can suddenly be distracted from work and start playing. Teachers usually regard this behavior as a violation of discipline and disobedience, but in this case it is necessary to take into account that the child does not do this at all in order to anger the teacher or get a reprimand. Even if the child develops normally or too quickly, some immaturity, carelessness and lightness are still visible in his behavior. It is vital for such children to constantly feel someone's care or attention, they cannot make decisions on their own, being afraid to make a mistake or do something wrong. They are defenseless, indecisive and naive.
Infancy can subsequently lead to undesirable consequences in society. A child who exhibits this type of behavior is often influenced by peers or older children with antisocial attitudes. Without thinking, he joins in actions and deeds that violate the general discipline and rules. Behavioral factors such as distress and pain are inherent in these children as they tend to have caricature reactions.
Conformal behavior
Now let's talk about overly disciplined behavior. Experts call it conformal. As a rule, adults are proud of this behavior of their children, but it, like all of the above, isdeviation from the norm. Unquestioning obedience, blind adherence to the rules contrary to one's own opinion in some cases can lead to even more serious mental disorders of the child.
The cause of excessive submission may be the authoritarian parenting style, overprotection and control. Children in such families do not have the opportunity to develop creatively, since all their actions are limited by parental attitudes. They are very dependent on other people's opinions, prone to a quick change of point of view under the influence of others. And as you already understood, it is human psychology that plays a very important role in determining behavior. By behavior, you can determine whether the child has mental problems, how he is doing in communication with relatives, friends and relatives, how balanced and calm he is.
Ways to correct children's behavior
Correction methods directly depend on the nature of pedagogical neglect, behavior patterns and how the child is brought up as a whole. Lifestyle, behavior of people around and social conditions also play an important role. One of the main areas of correction is the organization of children's activities in accordance with their interests and hobbies. The task of any correction is to activate and encourage children to fight the negative qualities observed in them, bad manners and bad habits. Of course, now there are other directions and methodological methods for correcting deviations in the behavior of children, namely suggestion, bibliotherapy,music therapy, logotherapy, art therapy, game therapy. As mentioned above, the latter method is the most popular and effective.
