How to commemorate the dead correctly: features and recommendations

2024 Author: Miguel Ramacey | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 06:11

Death is not the end, but only the beginning of something else, as all religions say. There are many customs associated with how to commemorate the dead. Orthodoxy, in fact, refers to the deceased as well as to the living, during common services their names are pronounced in a row, without any emphasis.

Memorial ceremonies are not held only on Easter, the rest of the time you can remember the departed. However, in the Orthodox tradition there are also separate days, church holidays, on which more attention is paid to the deceased than usual.

Which days are highlighted?

Days of special commemoration of the dead, according to Orthodox tradition, are:

• third;
• ninth;
• fortieth.

The first is considered to be the day of death, and not the next after them, even if the person died a few minutes before midnight. The anniversary of the departure to another world also stands out.

In addition to these days, other dates of the church calendar, called Parental dates, are also important in how to commemorate the dead correctlySaturdays:

• Meat empty;
• Trinity;
• Fourcosts.

In addition to the Parental Saturdays, when the remembrance of the dead accompanies the memorial service, the date of Radonitsa is also important.

Day three

The third day following death opens a series of obligatory commemorations. In the customs of how to commemorate the dead after burial, the third day is important, and not only in Christianity. For example, the custom of trizna adopted in Russia was nothing more than a commemoration. Every culture has traditions associated with death and the third day after it. In Christianity, the third day is associated not only with the resurrection of Christ, but also with the Holy Trinity.

It is generally accepted that until the third day the soul of the deceased visits those places with which a person has been associated with a lot in life. Whether the Angel accompanies the soul or not - there is no consensus in church philosophy on this issue.

It is believed that a calm soul, happy in life and righteous, not tossing about under the influence of passions and regrets, does not travel anywhere, but is close to his body. That is, it stays in the place where the body of the deceased lies in anticipation of burial. The virtuous souls, filled with compassion, visit those places in which they did good during their lifetime. That is, if a person, for example, maintained a shelter or was a volunteer in a hospital, his soul will visit these places.

Priests explain such visits by the fact that the soul goes to what it "sick" during life, from which it was "restless". This applies not only to the virtuous dead, but also tosouls filled with disappointments, grief, or dreams of seeing something. If a person longed to go somewhere, but never did it, there is a high probability that in the first three days after death the soul will visit this place.

On the third day, the Lord calls the soul to himself. This is reflected in the way the deceased is commemorated in the church - on the third day, in the text of the Lord's prayer, they pray for mercy on the soul, which will soon appear before him.

Day Nine

The ninth day is associated with the number of angelic ranks. It is generally accepted that the soul called to heaven spends six days waiting for the judgment of the Lord. At this time, she contemplates paradise, and nine angels recognize her deeds and thoughts.

The number "nine" is present in one form or another in many descriptions, customs or rituals. "Nine gates", for example, a symbol that arose long before the birth of Christianity, it is rooted in the culture of Mesopotamia and the Ancient Kingdoms of Egypt. There is a "nine" in Hindu beliefs, it was also present in the northern epic, and, of course, in Slavic traditions.

Orthodox believe that the ninth day is the time of judgment of the soul by the Lord. In how to properly commemorate the dead in church, this day is important. The memorial services of the ninth day are dedicated to prayers for mercy, for the soul to settle with the saints and the righteous, for the memory of the good deeds of the deceased.

Fortieth Day

The number "forty" is important in the Jewish tradition. From there it was converted to Christianity. However, Judaism and Christianity are inseparable concepts. beliefChrist grew up on the basis of the ancient religion of the Jews. Therefore, most of the symbols and rituals also came from Judaism.

Prophet Moses received the tablets from the Lord only after fasting for forty days. And the wandering of the Jews in the wilderness lasted forty years. Jesus Christ took his place next to the Heavenly Father again - on the fortieth day.

It is generally accepted that on the fortieth day the soul appears for the third and last time before the Lord. And after that, she settles in the place prepared for her, that is, she goes to heaven or hell, where she is waiting for the Last Judgment.

In how to carry out the commemoration of the dead, the rules of the Church prescribe to order a prayer service on this day. One should pray for the smoothing and forgiveness of the sins of the deceased and his placement with holy and righteous souls. After the fortieth day, the time for prayers "for the repose" comes.

Year after death

The Church unequivocally considers how to commemorate the dead on the anniversary of death, if you do not go into the philosophy and order of the liturgical year, then this date is like a birthday, but not a person in the body, but the soul.

The birthday of a deceased person, according to church traditions, is not celebrated. It is not necessary, from the point of view of Christianity, to go to the cemetery on this date or to allocate it in some other way. The date of birth is replaced by the anniversary of death. How to remember a person on this day is a question to which there is also an unambiguous answer. It is necessary to order a service "for the repose", to pray at home. Of course, it is not forbidden to go to the cemetery.

As for dinners, lunches andother traditions associated with food and drink, that is, they are in every culture, but are alien to Christianity. These are more ancient customs, to which the church has nothing to do. However, although the feast is not included in the list of church recommendations on how to commemorate the dead at home, Christianity does not prohibit such customs.

Memorial Saturdays

These are special days that are present in all Christian denominations. They were established by the heads of the Churches “together”, and this happened out of necessity. Since the Christian religion does not actually separate the dead from the living, it was necessary to put things in order in the structure and themes of common worship services. The result of this was the Saturdays, called "Ecumenical". In Orthodoxy, a different name was assigned to them - "Parental".

These days it is customary to commemorate the dead, the dead and at home after the remission of sins, and suddenly, and in principle - all deceased Christians, regardless of how they died.

Requiem services that are served these days are also called "Ecumenical". During the service, there is a general commemoration of the dead. How to properly commemorate a particular deceased on such days is a question that has become relevant only in the last century. The church does not yet give clear instructions, but recommends first praying for all the deceased Christians, and then mentioning loved ones.

Meat Waste Day

This Saturday ends the Meat Week, during which churches and cathedrals remember the upcoming Last Judgment. Services remind parishioners ofthat this day is inevitable and all, both living and dead, are in constant expectation of it.

In connection with this tradition, a series of Memorial Saturdays begins Myasopustnaya. There is the following feature in how to remember the dead on this day - in addition to what you need to remember in prayer about all Christians, the subject of the text should relate to the expectation of the Last Judgment. The clergy themselves recommend putting two candles "for the repose" on this day - for everyone and for a loved one.

Trinity Day

The tradition of remembering the dead on this Saturday, unlike the rest, has developed by itself and within Orthodoxy. Most of the Orthodox texts for prayers performed on Trinity Day were compiled by St. Basil the Great during his lifetime.

Especially St. Basil singled out prayers for the evening Pentecost, arguing that at this time the Lord will accept repentance for all sinful souls, even for those who have long been in the underworld.

However, although Trinity Day was included in the list of Saturdays approved by the Ecumenical Synod for commemoration, the church clearly prescribes to pray at this time only for the deceased pious Christians.

This is connected with the theme of the date of the Trinity or, as it was customary to say in Orthodoxy, Holy Pentecost. It is believed that at this time the Holy Spirit descended and the creation of man was completed. This was the primary meaning of the feast of the Trinity. Divine services with memorial services for the dead are performed on the last Saturday before the bright day of the Trinity and go all day, especially in Orthodoxy the evening prayer stands out.

On symbolismthese days and features of commemoration

Theology, or, in other words, church philosophy, endows Meatless Day and Trinity Day with a symbolic meaning.

Meatless Saturday personifies the end of the world, the cessation of the existence of this world and the onset of the Last Judgment. It is believed that it is during the week before this day, which in the Orthodox tradition is also called Myasopustnaya, that the horsemen of the Apocalypse will rush by. That is why churches representing any of the Christian denominations are extremely wary of any natural disasters that occur this week. But they absolutely calmly accept any forecasts for other days. For example, not so long ago, scientists around the world were alarmed by the approach of a meteorite to the Earth's trajectory. Of course, the parishioners asked the spiritual guides questions related to news stories. The position of all representatives of the clergy of different confessions was the same - nothing would happen. This conviction was due only to the fact that the date of a possible catastrophe did not fall into Meatfare Week.

Trinity Saturday symbolizes something completely different. The Day of Pentecost represents universal redemption by the power of the Holy Spirit. It is considered the day of the end of the kingdom of the Old Testament Church and the subsequent revelation to people of all the splendor of the Kingdom of Christ. That is, to put it simply, this day marks the change of Jewish Christian beliefs in church philosophy.

It was these theological nuances that left their mark on how to commemorate the dead correctly on these Saturdays. But then again, if in relation to worship inThe meat-empty memorial day does not raise any questions - they pray for all the deceased on the eve of the Last Judgment, then Trinity Saturday is the subject of controversy. The position of the Church is unequivocal and corresponds to the rule established by the Synod - pious Christians are commemorated.

But it is human nature to find loopholes in laws. In Orthodoxy, it is customary almost as officially as the rules to commemorate a deceased sinner, not a pious, a suicide or not baptized.

However, this is done in a completely different way from the traditional commemoration of the dead. There is no question of any orders for prayers or mention in memorial services. If you want to remember the sinful soul this Saturday, put a candle in front of the image of St. Basil the Great and pray for his intercession before the Lord.

There is such a sign associated with a prayer to St. Basil the Great for mercy for sinful souls. After the evening service, during which they turn to the saint with a request for intercession, one should not communicate with anyone, go to sleep, and visit the cemetery in the morning.

If birds fly to the grave or flowers bloom on it - any, it can be a lilac bush or planted daisies, or some other sign will be given, then the prayer has been heard and the Lord has forgiven the sinner. If there was no sign, then the Lord did not heed the intercession of St. Basil the Great.

After visiting the grave, you need to go to the temple and light a candle to the saint with a grateful prayer.

In the absence of spaceburial, which also happens, or its inaccessibility, you just need to go outside and wait for a sign. If you believe the signs, then St. Basil the Great does not leave a single prayer without attention, and you can turn to him more than once.

Days of Fortecost

These are the Saturdays that complete the second, third and fourth weeks of Lent. On the weekly days themselves, services "for the repose" are not held. All ordered prayers of this type are transferred to Saturdays.

In Orthodoxy, these days do not have much significance, unlike Catholicism. In our churches, on these dates, a brief general commemoration is read and “addressed” prayers are held.

Churches on these Saturdays:

• litanies for the dead;
• lithium;
• dirge services;
• "personal" commemorations;
• Magpie.

It is considered a very bad sign if the commemoration by day, that is, the third, ninth and fortieth, falls on weekdays of the week. The deceased is left without a traditional prayer service, that is, to put it simply, the commemoration is transferred to the next Sabbath day following the required one on the calendar.

But the Orthodox Church does not forbid such actions on weekdays as commemorating the dead at home prayer, visiting cemeteries, or otherwise remembering departed loved ones, for example, putting a candle in front of the image of a saint.

Radonitsa Day

In addition to church ceremonies, it is traditionally customary to visit burial places on Radonitsa. About how to behave in a cemetery, how to commemoratedead sinners at their graves, Christianity does not prescribe anything specific, except for the requirements to refrain from drunkenness.

This date in church philosophy is associated not only with the end of Holy and Bright weeks and the Sunday of St. Thomas, but also with the story of how the Lord descended into the Underworld and triumphed over death.

On Easter, no memorial services are held, no burials are visited, and in principle nothing is done that is somehow connected with death. Everything that was done on this day during the years of Soviet power should be transferred to Radonitsa. It is this date that is set aside by Christian denominations to prepare the departed for the news of the resurrection of Jesus.

What is a memorial?

In various explanations of how to commemorate the dead, this name is often found. A commemorative is a diptych consisting of two tablets, which in its functional meaning is a notebook. On one side are written the names of the living, on the other - the dead, who should be mentioned in prayer.

There are such reminders:

• church, " altar";
• homemade;
• begging.

"Altar" are used during the service by the clergy. Their dimensions and weight can be very large, and only the names of the elite are included in the permanent lists. That is, people who have done a lot of good andpious deeds, distinguished by strong faith and benefiting the Church. For example, in every Russian church, the list included the names of merchants who financed the construction of a particular church and those who made donations.

Church memos have two sections regarding the deceased:

• eternal;
• temporary.

The first one contains the names of those who have been honored with eternal remembrance. And in the second - the names of the deceased, prayers for which were ordered.

Home memos differ only in that they contain the names of loved ones. Home diptychs can be family and tribal. Accordingly, clans have been going on for centuries and are passed down from generation to generation.

In home books it is customary to write down not only names, but also important dates, name days and much more related to the person mentioned on the pages. Any church can explain how to keep a home commemoration book.

Prayer is an important part of the list of customs regarding how to commemorate the dead.

These are the commemoratives that can be purchased in any temple in the same place as candles. They also consist of two components, on one you need to write the names of the living, on the other - the dead. The completed commemoration book is handed over to the clergyman. That is, this is actually a note with a request to mention during the service about those people whose names are listed in it.

If you want to use a petitionary commemoration book, you should come to the temple in advance in order to have time to fill out the pages and passa note to a priest. Memos handed over during the service remain at the discretion of the priest. That is, by default, they are only read at the next service. Reading on the current one is a personal initiative and "good will" of the clergyman.

What is Sorokoust?

Sorokoust is a series of prayers for the deceased, performed for forty days. There are no restrictions for this rite, it can be ordered immediately after the end of the liturgy for the deceased.

In addition to Sorokoust, you can order memorial services for a year and six months. Also, many monasteries accept petitions for eternal commemoration. By "eternal" one should understand the term - "while the Temple stands", that is, the time that a certain monastery is operating. Petitions for eternal commemorations are not accepted in urban or rural churches, since the time of services there is limited. But the monks have the opportunity to offer prayers to the Lord almost around the clock.

Should we pray for the dead at home?

In today's world, this issue is the most pressing. Traditionally, it is customary to have a “Red Corner” in the house with images, candles and other attributes. It is also customary to pray daily, traditionally this is done before going to bed.

Of course, prayers also include the mention of deceased loved ones. It is considered especially important to pray to the Lord for mercy on the soul of the deceased in the first forty days after his death.

However, in today's world, the piety of people is concentrated inside their hearts. Few people have religious ritual attributes in the house and read aloud prayers before going to bed. This is especially true for Russia,where godlessness reigned for a long time. It's about the years of Soviet power and the forced education of people in atheism. The concept and role of religion was replaced by the party, education in Christian values - public children's organizations.

Therefore, there is no need to put up icons and pray out loud if there is no inner need to do so. In prayer for the departed, sincerity is important, and not "copying a template." It is enough to come to the temple and pray at the image to yourself, asking for mercy for the deceased loved one. Such a prayer will be honest, and the Lord will surely hear it.