I feel worthless and a loser - what should I do? How to learn to appreciate yourself

2024 Author: Miguel Ramacey | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 06:11

Very often you have to hear the saying: “I feel like nothing. Life has lost its meaning, and nothing in it pleases. Paradoxically, not only deeply unhappy people who do not have a roof over their heads and a piece of bread to live on characterize their condition in this way. Even the most successful and self-sufficient individuals sometimes become discouraged when a streak of failure accompanies them for a long time. Let's try to understand the problem and try to solve it as soon as possible.

Why did I become a loser

"How to live if you feel like nothing?" - such thoughts come to the mind of completely different people: choleric and phlegmatic, cheerful and misanthropic, introverts and extroverts, optimists and pessimists. Temporary despondency covered at some period of time each of us, only to a greater or lesser extent. Because thematerial well-being is a priority in all aspects of life, it is considered to be the main factor of success. To some extent, this is true, since a person needs a certain amount of money every day in order not to die of hunger. At the same time, each of us knows that money cannot fully satisfy the needs of a person, especially with regard to moral aspects. A worthless person feels like a worthless person when he is not loved, not respected, or simply ignored. And the degree of his experiences, believe me, does not depend on the amount of deposits in his accounts.

In confirmation of the above thought, we can recall the great people who remained in poverty during their lifetime and received recognition only after death. How can they be called losers, because they have gained worldwide popularity? We consider them the most successful, but neither Van Gogh, nor Gauguin, nor hundreds of other masters unrecognized during their lifetime could ever feel the rays of glory. They suffered and needed an extra penny, considering themselves the most insignificant people in the world.

Signs of a classic loser

"I feel like a failure and a loser," is what people who have fallen into despair say. In order to realize and evaluate your condition (this is the first step in solving the problem), you need to analyze what obvious signs should be present in this case. Perhaps this is just a momentary weakness that will quickly pass and leave no trace. But if you know your current state, you should start thinking about further tactics and strategy, which we will talk about later. So,the signs of a failure are:

• constant search for self-justification;
• exposure of other people's shortcomings is a "balm" for your ego;
• constant presence of envy towards other, more successful people (even strangers);
• constant dissatisfaction with yourself;
• the presence of guilt in front of loved ones, because a person cannot provide them with a decent life;
• there is irritability, constant grumbling, chronic dissatisfaction with everything that happens around;
• feeling anxious, melancholy or depressed;
• haunt thoughts about the past, and regret that nothing can be changed;
• fear that life is wasted;
• panic attitude to the monotonous regularity of life.

Reasons

If after this list you have established yourself in the thought: “I finally feel like a complete nonentity”, then the description hit the nail on the head. And before dealing with the consequences, it is necessary to find out the reasons for this state:

1. Parents spoiled too much. The child is used to getting everything on demand. As an adult, a person is faced with reality, when others are in no hurry to fulfill all his whims. He is disappointed, so he feels like a failure.
2. Excessive severity in education. From childhood, the child is accustomed to the fact that too much is required of him. He tried his best, but his strength was not enough. He just dried up and lost interest in life.
3. Perfectionism. The man raised the bar too high, which he can not overcome in any way. Constant demands on oneself and the desire for an ideal does not find its embodiment in life (it is impossible to succeed everywhere and in everything). Lack of success in one of life's aspects is the reason for feeling worthless.
4. Escape from reality. Some individuals live in their own fantasy world. This is due to temperament (introverts prefer to be alone with their thoughts), lifestyle (isolation, lack of communication skills, neglect of their he alth), addictions (alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction). Returning to the real world, a person is lost and feels like a failure.
5. Excessive daydreaming. Sometimes people get too carried away with their dreams and begin to confuse them with reality. They come up with such projects for themselves that will never come true. For example, a person wants to earn a billion or settle on Mars, while he does not have a decent income and is afraid to fly on an airplane. It is necessary to objectively assess your capabilities, so as not to be disappointed later.

Wonderful Transformation

It's time to decide why I still feel like nothing and what needs to be done to get rid of this obsessive thought. If a person was able to give himself a characterization (even the most negative), he already deserves praise. Only those who are unable to evaluate themselves remainloser for the rest of his days. The saddest thing is that he himself does not realize this, the surrounding people give him such an assessment. And this is much worse than excessive self-criticism. It is self-doubt that is the driving force for changing the situation for the better, so do not panic, but rather actively take action.

The best advice on how to stop feeling like a jerk is a call to action. It is safe to say that in thirty days a person can feel a real result if he adheres to the thirty rules. To do this, it is necessary to make every effort not to forget any of them. Each day, one new recommendation must be added. They are classified into certain sections, if desired, they can be swapped (but just do not get confused). To begin with, it is recommended that you familiarize yourself with the full list of all the rules, and then proceed with the gradual development.

Do your best

Statement of fact like "I feel unwanted" should be forgotten in the first place. This is an erroneous impression, since it does not happen that a person does not have a single acquaintance who would like to contact him. In all likelihood, this is the choice of the individual, since he does not need extraneous attention.

Extreme efforts are urgently needed to rectify the situation. This can be done thanks to the recommendations:

1. Give up the habit of blaming other people. Whatever happens, you need to look for solutions based on your ownbehavior (analyzing the path traveled and making plans for the future), let the actions of others remain not yours, but their problems.
2. Stay away from unnecessary things. To do this, you need to correctly prioritize and do only what is beneficial. We are talking about work, leisure and proper sleep, and endless TV viewing or hanging on social networks should be eliminated or reduced to a minimum.
3. Forget past failures. No need to doubt, whine and compare current plans with past events. They have nothing in common.
4. Striving for improvement. To understand how to learn to value yourself, you need to try to do each new business better than the previous one.
5. Do something that brings a positive attitude. We are talking about a new hobby, visiting various establishments, exciting travels, etc. Everyone will decide what exactly gives him pleasure.
6. Ask for forgiveness. If you did something wrong, ask for forgiveness for your behavior. By doing this, you can lighten your soul and follow the path of new victories without any extra moral burden.

Expand your limits

The realization that "I am nothing" will be forever forgotten if you continue to follow the following recommendations:

1. Assess your fears objectively. You can understand how dangerous they are if you look at them from the outside and imagine the most negative outcome of the situation. If nothing threatens your life, then the attitude towards fears is tooexaggerated.
2. Give extra effort. Try to do even better work, don't be afraid to put in extra effort for a better result. Over time, full dedication will become a habit, and efforts will pay off handsomely.
3. Don't obsess over other people's opinions. This is how you can understand how to learn to appreciate yourself. Definitely, behavior should be worthy, but people's judgments are always subjective. Listen to yourself, because it is impossible to please everyone.
4. Experiment with problems. It is recommended to choose a case that requires some effort. An easy victory does not bring complete satisfaction, so it makes sense to bet on your own strength.
5. Question all situations. Don't just settle for the obvious answer to the question, other options should be considered.

Be brave and determined

A person will never be able to say about himself that I am a nonentity if he listens to the following advice:

1. Tune in for the long term. Only reasonable planning will lead to a long-awaited victory, quick successes are not always the key to prosperity.
2. Don't despair. You should not feel sorry for yourself and analyze failures for a long time, this will turn into a waste of time. You need to draw the necessary conclusions and begin another attempt to improve your life.
3. Don't stop half way. If everything is going well, but the real result has not yet been achieved, you should not stop. Not everything can change overnight, you need to be patient.
4. Don't stop moving towards success. Even if there is almost no strength left, you need to take a break and move on. Real victories do not come by themselves, they must be won. All successful people have done this.

Don't be afraid to make big plans

To the question of how to get out of despondency and depression, there is one answer: dream and plan. Thoughts tend to turn into reality, so grandiose prospects will definitely benefit. To do this, you need to take the following steps:

1. Plan more than expected as a result. There is no need to build unrealistic plans, but it is simply necessary to raise the bar. This encourages more responsible and constructive work.
2. Think big. No need to be afraid to take risks, the plan should be more global than the banal lack of loss. Plan things that lead to profit (or improvement) and not just a modest balance between good and bad.
3. Forget recognition. This is not about the lack of glory and honor, but about the fact that you do not need to strive for it on the way to achieving the goal. Work is the only priority, and the respect of others will only be a reward.
4. Prepare for defeat. This is a common situation on the path to success, since it is not possible to achieve everything the first time (statistics testify to this). There will be many obstacles on the way, it is necessary to treat them philosophically.

Give people gratitude

Youyou will never be able to say the phrase: "I feel like nothing" if you heed the following tips:

1. See the positive things. In any, even the most disastrous situation, it is necessary to look for positive aspects. They must be present, because "a negative result is also a result."
2. Fix positive moments. It is necessary to make it a rule to write down all your achievements and positive moments in life. By periodically rereading your triumphs, you will build barriers between fear and reality. It is very useful to remember how scary everything seemed and how ordinary it became after the end.
3. Stop fussing. There is no need to rush anywhere and make unnecessary movements, it is better to plan your time wisely.
4. Thank people more often. Get into the habit of saying "thank you" for every service you receive. Soon you will see how many positive emotions such communication with people will bring.
5. Laugh at yourself. It is very important when a person knows how to laugh at himself, because it is self-irony that allows you to relax and look at your mistakes from a different angle.

Conquer your fears and concerns

I feel like nothing. Such an attitude towards yourself will be impossible, because, approaching the final stage, you will already have something to be proud of. But for complete satisfaction, you need to take a few more steps:

1. Choose the optimal mode of operation. An increase in the hormone cortisol leads to negative changes inbody. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to provide the brain with rest, since it is necessary to restore moral and spiritual strength.
2. Control emotions. Do not give in to impulsive desires and whims, and anxiety and fear must be kept under control.
3. Listen to objective opinions from outside. It is necessary to find a person whom you can trust and consult with him on some issues. Your point of view and a look from the side will help to recreate the true picture of what is happening.
4. Normalize activity. Active activity suppresses fear. In order not to repeat "I feel unwanted", it is better to do something than to sit and be afraid.
5. Abstract from the negative. It is recommended to think exclusively positively and not project negative experiences (your own and others') onto yourself. The expressions “I am always unlucky” or “something bad always happens to me” should be permanently eliminated from your vocabulary.
6. Avoid extremes. Since there are many shades in life between black and white, it would be a wise decision to try not to be so categorical. It is necessary to consider the situation from different angles, be flexible and be able to always find a compromise.

Summarizing, it should be said that thoughts and expressions like "I feel like nothing" have no place in a person's head. Each individual is a person who deserves respect. You can’t underestimate yourself, give up and mourn your hard and hopeless life. Need to trythe above method, it must necessarily bring positive results. And such thoughts will be regarded as temporary weakness or seasonal melancholy. She passed as soon as the gentle sun appeared in the sky.