Human relationships have always caused a lot of discussion and controversy. How many books have been read, how many films have been shot!.. But we continue to ask ourselves questions about how it is possible to create a strong feeling out of fragile sympathy. Psychologists say: the most important thing is to appreciate a loved one. What does this mean, and how does advice work in real life?
Everyone's mistake
We often hear that you need to value life, time, loved ones nearby. However, the problem of humanity is that, having got used to something, we begin to take it for granted. This is especially noticeable in relationships, when a man and a woman, who until recently treated each other with awe and love, gradually cool off. He no longer sees the beauty of his chosen one, she does not notice his kindness. Gradually, each other's shortcomings open up before them, and one day the thought comes: "Is this the person I need?".
People recklessly value material things, forgetting that first of all you need to appreciate the one who is nearby. They leave each other at the firstskirmish, not realizing that in the future there will be difficulties again, but with a different one. And so you can spend your whole life searching without finding the ideal.
What does it mean to appreciate a person?
Answering this question is difficult, but at the same time very easy. We think we appreciate the one we love. However, love does not always teach to appreciate. Most women claim that the skill comes with time.
What does it mean to appreciate a person? Everything is very simple: love him as he is, not paying attention to the shortcomings, but especially highlighting the virtues. Respect his personal space, desires and aspirations, try to cheer and support. In case of any quarrel, do not say goodbye, but try with all your might to restore relations. This is what it means to appreciate a person.
Can it be learned?
Coach Yulia Borovik gives the following advice, based on personal experience: think about why you value your loved one and create a list of their virtues. For example, does your husband take out the trash instead of you or is he good at holding it? Does he make you coffee in the morning or does he help with the baby? All these points are very important, do not ignore them. Then create another list, Julia says, in which you describe all of its shortcomings. You will understand that they are much less than the merits.
And this applies not only to the spouse, but also to other dear people - relatives and friends. Learning to appreciate people is very difficult, because we are selfish by nature and put our own interests at the forefront. However, learning to appreciate relatives and friends is quitereally, if you often remind yourself that these people are the only value in our lives.
