The guilt complex in psychology is a topic that is being actively studied from different angles. Various research papers, articles and dissertations are dedicated to her. Each person at least once in his life experienced this painful feeling, which prevents him from realizing himself as a promising personality worthy of the highest praise. A guilt complex is a condition that appears as a result of certain life circumstances. It does not allow you to feel happy, to strive for great achievements. The feeling that you have done something wrong in life significantly undermines mental he alth, contributes to the accumulation of negative emotions.
Often it is present in parents who, for one reason or another, could not make their child happy. They begin to feel that nothing can be fixed. The psychology of the guilt complex is such that it only increases with time. If athe situation is not resolved for the better, then the person tends to withdraw into himself, significantly undermines his physical and mental strength.
Signs
There are certain symptoms that indicate that a person is weighed down with guilt. Of course, this affects his behavior, relationships with others. An individual cannot be in a state of constant tension for a long time. Sooner or later, this will lead to its consequences. Let us consider in more detail the signs of a guilt complex. They are so bright that it is simply impossible not to notice them.
Psychological discomfort
Due to constant stress, a person gradually develops a state that cannot be called pleasant. It begins to undermine him from the inside, to influence the everyday process of making important decisions.
Psychological discomfort contributes to the fact that the individual has to constantly suppress their interests. When we compromise our values, we experience fear, resentment, frustration, and ongoing anxiety.
Lower self-esteem
The guilt complex necessarily changes the attitude towards oneself. The personality suffers, desires and aspirations begin to be perceived as unimportant, not deserving special attention. There is a significant decrease in self-esteem. Against the backdrop of strong feelings that have arisen, a person begins to doubt his own capabilities. Any undertakings seem to him doubtful, and the prospects are vague. This state is quite logically explained: when we feel ourselves in somethingor guilty, then the desire to achieve something, to make certain efforts disappears.
Feeling overwhelmed
Guilt complex, one way or another, affects our attitude. It begins to seem to a person that nothing good awaits him in the future. Of course, this is always an exaggeration, but one cannot get rid of negative emotions too quickly. Nightmares can haunt for quite a long time, prevent you from feeling happy and self-sufficient. The feeling of depression arises in response to the constant overstrain of the nervous system.
Sadness and despondency become human companions. He stops noticing how he misses emerging opportunities and often gives up even before he tries to take the first step. Such a state does not contribute in any way to starting to engage in oneself, does not lead to development. Despondency controls the personality, only negative impressions accumulate in it. The person just begins to fade slowly. He can no longer be so openly happy about some successful acquisitions, as he constantly looks back at his past.
Desire to please in everything
Guilt complex most seriously affects relationships with the outside world. A person ceases to feel capable of great accomplishments, is afraid to act in accordance with his inner convictions. He unconsciously has a desire to please everyone. This is done in order not to arouse the anger of the interlocutor, not to provoke the development of a quarrel. However, the habit of justifying other people's expectations does notleads to good. Soon a person loses his individuality, ceases to understand what he needs in life. This is the case when the feeling of guilt can crush from the inside so much that there will be no strength left for active action.
Feeling insignificant
A child's guilt complex often appears in response to the exorbitant demands of the parents. That is why father and mother need to give up the idea of comparing their child with other children. Otherwise, the child will never learn to understand his achievements.
He will cease to somehow feel his value, therefore, in everything he will strive to please others. The feeling of insignificance is incredibly detrimental to the emotional component. As a result, self-esteem falls, the child does not want to make any efforts in order to achieve some satisfactory results. A guilt complex in front of parents can also appear in adulthood if a person has not managed to successfully arrange his life. In some cases, people become so focused on despair and hopelessness that they stop noticing the possibilities.
Failure to solve problems
Another sign by which you can immediately suspect that a person is tormented by guilt. He literally gives up before difficulties and stops fighting for better conditions. The inability to solve problems manifests itself in all areas of life: in personal relationships, at work, and so on. If any unpleasant event occurs that imposes a seriousimprint on the perception of reality, then the attitude towards the situation itself also changes in a negative direction.
This includes the survivor's guilt complex, when a person cannot be glad that circumstances turned out much more successfully for him than for others. When any global incidents occur and people die as a result, the one who remains alive experiences an insurmountable spiritual emptiness for some time. He feels guilty that someone left this world prematurely when he was more fortunate.
How to get rid of
It is obvious that the presence of guilt has a detrimental effect on the personality. Sometimes it becomes even difficult to imagine how people drive themselves into a certain framework and are afraid to get out of there. With such a discord in the soul, one can hardly count on success in life. If a person cannot overcome this state in himself, then he is unlikely to be able to manage his own life in the future. Let's take a closer look at how to get rid of the guilt complex? First of all, you need to change your attitude to life.
Knowing the reasons
Nothing in our life happens just like that. Everything has its reasons. It is necessary to realize the reasons in order not to be in such a painful and depressing state for months and years. Perhaps in the past there was some kind of situation that later influenced the attitude towards oneself. Being guilty of something is quite a test.
Not everyone can stand it. Oftenit happens that after parting in a couple, people experience a certain embarrassment in front of their own children. The complex of guilt in front of a child for a divorce is a fairly common situation. Some parents are ready to literally shower their child with endless gifts, just to compensate for the unpleasant feelings that he had to endure. Of course, this is not a way out. Positive change will begin only after admitting one's own mistakes.
The ability to refuse
The habit of always and in everything agreeing with the interlocutor can be detrimental to self-esteem. If we get used to pleasing others at all costs, then we are sure to lose a sense of our own worth. This happens completely unconsciously. Sacrificing oneself, it is impossible to remain satisfied with life. Full self-realization also becomes impossible. Developing a new strategy of behavior is always not easy, but you need to try. It is necessary to learn how to say "no" to proposals that do not have a pleasant prospect. Think about whether there is always a need to pay attention to all the requests of your distant relatives, work colleagues or just acquaintances? If you are seriously afraid that people will stop communicating with you, then in vain. Self-confident people are respected, but indecisive people are taken advantage of. Make the right decision for yourself and you will be able to free yourself from a heavy burden.
Knowing your worth
This is a very important acquisition that should not be underestimated. Guilt especially torments those who, for some reason, do not know how to value themselves. In constant anxiety, we lose a lotthe amount of creative energy that could be used for something good. If you are used to living in criticism and simply do not know how to restructure your thinking, you will have to try. Try to look at the problem from the other side.
Believe me, you don't have to live up to everyone's expectations. The main thing is to find an opportunity to go about your life, to realize your own desires and aspirations. After all, it is still impossible to keep up with other people's requirements. So is it worth torturing yourself with needless suffering?
Individual aspirations
In order for the result to be positive in the end, you need to know what to move towards in life. Your individual aspirations should be as clear as possible. Some people suffer because they do not know where to direct their efforts. This is a big mistake. To free yourself from the oppressive feeling of guilt, it is worth delving into the process of self-realization. Constantly looking for new opportunities, you will not miss your chance. Respect your desires and try to follow them.
Bug fixes
If you feel guilty about a very specific reason, consider whether you can try to change something. After all, there are no hopeless situations. It is very helpful to look for some ways to feel better. Some life mistakes are quite amenable to correction. The main thing is that a person has a sincere desire to do a good deed. In this case, self-awareness, behavior and evensome personal characteristics. The mistakes of the past cease to dominate us when we let go of resentment and disappointment. Forgive yourself and find the strength to apologize to those who were once made to suffer.
Striving to be helpful
Guilt disappears when a meaningful decision is made to bring joy to others. When we, based on the best intentions, want to remain useful to loved ones, then a special meaning appears in life. Short-term failures no longer unsettle, do not make you doubt everything in the world. A person begins to realize his own destiny, wants to create, reveal his creative potential, build trusting relationships.
Instead of a conclusion
Thus, a guilt complex is a condition that must be de alt with. If this is not done, then peace of mind is unlikely to be restored. Harmony with oneself is possible only when a person realizes his own value and strives to perform feasible tasks. There is no point in trying to please everyone, even if they are your next of kin. You should always be yourself, keep your individuality. Unfortunately, the feeling of guilt does not allow revealing one's best personal qualities, showing one's abilities from the best side. This complex is described in psychology as a state that directly affects self-esteem and the way of perceiving the surrounding reality.
