If the feeling of happiness may not be familiar to everyone, then everyone knows what guilt is. The feeling of guilt is consciously cultivated in us from childhood by our parents and teachers. We grow up with an already established pattern: “if you know what the fault is, correct the mistake.” Whether it is right, it is useful to feel guilty or not, we will learn from this article.
The definition of "guilt" in psychology
Let's turn to scientific formulations. Psychologists associate guilt with a whole range of emotional states, intertwined, above all, with a sense of "remorse." To be more precise, guilt in psychology means a person experiencing a feeling of dissatisfaction with himself or his actions, as well as some resonance between the behavior of the individual and the values accepted in society. Some psychological schools believe that only members of a highly developed society can experience guilt, while backward and intellectually undeveloped people do not know this feeling.
Who can feel guilty?
Curiously, the feeling of guilt is manifested in non-verbal communication even in animals. Remember what a naughty dog looks like? The eyes are slanted, the ears are lowered to the head. If a cat stole a sausage, then after what he did, hewill try to leave, because he understands that his act is in resonance with the moral and social values of the family where he lives. Therefore, the feeling of guilt is something that is familiar even to animals, not to mention highly developed and civilized people.
What makes up guilt?
According to the research of the doctor of psychology D. Unger, who studied what guilt is, this feeling of a person consists of such components as repentance and recognition of one's wrong.
Repentance is manifested in the accusations of the offender against himself. "Why did I do this?" - the one who feels guilty asks himself a question. The second component is the admission of being wrong. This factor is expressed in feelings, shame, fear and sadness.
Why is it necessary to feel guilty?
Why does a person need to experience a feeling that affects so destructively? There is an interesting version, proposed by Dr. Weiss, that this experience is simply necessary for establishing relationships between people. According to his theory, the feeling of guilt is an adaptive quality, formed in the process of long relationships in society.
Guilt is an ambiguous concept. Therefore, there are many interpretations of this experience. The world-famous Dr. Freud and his colleague, working in the same field of psychology, but a little later - Dr. Mandler, assumed that guilt and anxiety are the same feelings, called by different words. If a person has made a mistake or was close to it, he has anxiety aboutthe intended punishment. To get rid of anxiety, a person may try to make amends for his mistake. Also, some researchers associate guilt with fear. Fear of punishment is what makes a person repent of a wrongdoing.
How natural is it for a person to feel guilty? Apparently, even if animals and babies can feel remorse, therefore, guilt is not an invented concept. But don't people confuse a sense of personal responsibility with a sense of guilt?
What is guilt in terms of real life?
Let's return to the childhood of each of us. No matter who raised the child, these people benefited from our obedience. As soon as the baby does something that is not pleasing to an adult, he begins to get angry and express his displeasure. Educators in the face of parents and teachers can be understood. They believe that if you develop a sense of guilt in the mind of the baby, the child will grow up as a responsible, serious and honest person. However, this is a big mistake.
What is wrong with artificially cultivating guilt?
In fact, every person has what is called an “inner voice”, or “voice of conscience”. When a person, be he a respectable citizen or a notorious swindler, does something wrong, he hears this voice. However, what is wrong? Theft, betrayal, treason, fraud, deception - these are dishonorable things. But is it worth it to blame yourself if you want to take care of your elderly parents and do not inform them that you were fired?Is it worth it to feel guilty if you no longer want to communicate with a person, and tell him about it? We are taught that to be happy you have to follow the expectations of others, and if not, then you are to blame.
Parents get it first. The kid must respond to all their requests and instructions, in case of refusal, punishment occurs. Then, kindergarten teachers and teachers at school impose certain behaviors at school. You must study perfectly, be quiet, do not raise your voice and do not argue. Let's take a sober look at the situation. There are children who are born "excellent students", and there are active kids who will make great athletes or dancers, so they do not have a penchant for science. They get triples, comments, and along with this, parents and teachers develop a sense of guilt in them. Further more. A teenager becomes a young man, boy or girl, bound by all these restrictions.
Replacing a sense of responsibility with a sense of guilt
Current and modern society largely consists of irresponsible people. This is not their fault, because it is the merit of educators. Instead of instilling a sense of responsibility in the baby, he is actively implanted with a sense of guilt. What is guilt? It is remorse for not living up to the expectations of others. What is personal responsibility? It's the feeling of knowing that you shouldn't do wrong things to others.
A person who has not developed a sense of responsibility can do atrocities and do wrong things absolutelyfearlessly, if he knows that they will not be punished. If a person is fully responsible for everything he does, then he is aware of all his actions not because of fear of punishment, but because of inner feelings.
Conclusion based on the above can be done as follows. Feelings of guilt are invented and imposed on each of us. If you are already an adult, try to move away from this feeling, replacing it with a sense of awareness. If you are a parent raising a child, don't make your child feel guilty for not living up to your expectations.
