In official psychology, such a term as "energy vampire" does not exist. However, everyone is familiar with it, because it is an integral part of our harsh reality. This "flaw" may be inherent in our parents, friends, relatives, co-workers or boss. But what if the husband is an energy vampire? After all, this is the closest person with whom you will live for the rest of your life…
Small introduction
The phrase "husband is an energy vampire" by itself sounds extremely ominous. This is the term we used to call people who live somewhere far away, and even if they touch us, then indirectly, and we will never come into contact with them. But for many women, alas, after a few years (or months) of marriage, such a cruel truth is revealed. They begin to understand this after the family ceases to "get along". A woman feels in her gut that something is wrong here,she is not completely happy (even if there is money, success, love, etc.), constantly wants to change something.
But what to change if the native man is faithful, cares, loves and makes gifts? After all, this is the very family happiness. If such an inexplicable desire and thirst for change for the better arises, be sure that there are two answers to this question. First, you don't love your spouse. This is a completely different topic. Second - your husband is an energy vampire. Let's take a closer look at the second aspect.
Your feelings
First of all, you should pay attention to yourself. From the point of view of your (not personally yours, but acceptable to your family) worldview, are you behaving ideally? Are you faithful, loving and caring enough for your significant other? This is important, because perhaps you personally make mistakes in a relationship, not noticing what your spouse reacts negatively to, and as a result, you are offended and are constantly in decline.
Please note that such an analysis does not have any clear evaluation criteria, since everyone has a fundamentally different idea of \u200b\u200bthe "ideal family". If there is nothing shameful in your behavior, then switch to it. Everything seems to be going well, even ideally, but suddenly a quarrel may arise out of the blue. This happens once a week, maybe more often, and after the scandal you feel empty, exhausted. But such a feeling can also arise in you because of his constant "whining", complaints and insults, and sometimes even from his seemingly simple actions. Now this is a sure sign thatthat your husband is an energy vampire. The signs by which this can be accurately determined are very clear and simple, so let's look at them now.
Vampire Characteristics
These include:
- Spouse constantly causes negative emotions in you. It makes you angry, jealous, crying, suffering. He knows what exactly causes such a reaction in you and intends to create all the conditions for it to manifest itself.
- Your husband just loves to ride in crowded vehicles and also loves other crowds of a large number of people. The reverse side of this quality is that he regularly sits on forums and "trolls" everyone on the Internet, that is, he is a hater.
- He always complains about everything. Work is terrible, the boss is a tyrant, parents love little, friends are more successful and better, etc. He does not miss the opportunity to put you down in this way.
- He seems to feel that he should call just when you have found time for yourself to read, go to a beauty salon, take a walk with your friends. And all because at the moment you are not with him and you are not thinking about him.
- The energy vampire husband keeps his promises for a very long time, keeping you in suspense and causing constant resentment about this.
- Such people don't get along with cats, often equipment quickly breaks down in their hands.
- Extremely unpleasant everyday moments, such as tapping a slipper on the floor or a table leg, "slurping" with saliva, as well as an addiction to bloody films, especially at the most inopportunefor you, the moment is a sure sign of vampirism.
- From the previous factor - energy vampire husbands constantly monitor criminal reports, and then they describe and retell everything in colors to you.
- The last signs of vampirism are jealousy, vindictiveness, vindictiveness and selfishness.
What's the catch?
After reading this list, you will probably ask: "Why not just take such a terrible person and leave?" It is not that simple. Energy vampires do not always attack, this is how they keep their victims. The key to a relationship (any) is love, and when you marry a vampire, you must have loved him and he loved you. At the very beginning of a relationship, such "attacks" look like a bad mood, failures at work, a slight autumn depression, etc. You forgive and forget, but soon everything repeats more and more often. But still, moments of attacks alternate with something good, and you don’t want to leave your loved one with whom you are happy, although sometimes, you live. That is why most women simply get used to such a development of events and do not look for an answer to the question of how to live with an energy vampire husband, because they do not consider him as such.
Sorry, I accidentally
Energy vampirism is a phenomenon more than common in the modern world. We can say that such "parasites" are the majority of the world's population, regardless of gender and age, but there is one BUT. Mostly peoplethey simply do not understand that by their behavior they literally devastate the entire energy reserve of their loved ones. That is, they are energy vampires, but do not realize it. All their actions, no matter how terrible and annoying they may be, are performed on a subconscious level (like a cat hunting for a mouse - instinctively). Deep inside themselves, they feel an energy hunger and begin to provoke you, call you to a scandal or to tears. After you quarrel and go to different rooms, such an energy vampire will begin to ask himself: "Why did I do or say this?" It is this type of husband, despite its danger, that lends itself to "re-education." They sincerely love their wives and cause such inconvenience to them completely unconsciously.
How to change the situation?
It is in cases where the pumping of energy occurs unconsciously that there is hope for a brighter future. First of all, it is worth figuring out how to confront an energy vampire husband who "poisons" you unintentionally, and after you learn how to neutralize his attacks, his behavior will gradually change for the better.
What to do:
- Analysis of the scheme of actions of the vampire. Most often, unconscious "bloodsuckers" act according to the same tactics. It can be baseless scandals, regular whining, petty annoying actions, etc.
- Do not respond to provocation. If he tries to start a quarrel, leave, if he starts to complain - do not pay attention. Imagineimagine that he is talking with friends at this moment, and you don’t even want to delve into the conversation about basketball and other male hobbies. You will not get angry, do not "give" him your energy, he will understand that such actions have become meaningless.
- In order to personally remain strong and be able to withstand attacks, it is worth finding "batteries". Everyone has their own - interesting books and films, drawing, playing musical instruments, swimming and other sports …
- Try to eat right and regularly. In a state of stress, we can break down and overeat (or, conversely, starve), which causes not only emotional, but also physical exhaustion.
- Well, the last thing you should do after all of the above is a frank conversation. After all, it is important for an unconscious husband-energy vampire, just like you, to save your marriage, he also loves you and hurts you unintentionally. Point out to him that you are hurt by such and such of his actions and ask him not to do so in the future.
The fate of those who failed the task
For one reason or another, some women cannot fully understand how to protect themselves from their husband-energy vampire, do not cope with the recommendations of psychologists and remain in their captivity. In such situations, even a sincerely loving spouse, who "parasites" unconsciously, turns into a monster. Just an excess amount of energy from his wife nourishes him more than necessary, and he acquires the features of a tyrant. Such men are often feared, they allowthemselves a lot and do not understand that there are certain limits of decency and respect.
Scandal - let it be public, humiliation - it will be powerful and cruel. In the "paws" of such a spouse, a woman ceases to be herself. She no longer has a craving for creativity, no hobbies and hobbies, no friends. Even meetings with relatives are very painful, since they are in the center of attention, and not the husband. Often in such families, a man does not give a woman the opportunity to grow in a career plan, develop something new, even does not allow her to get a driver's license.
Conscious Vampirism
For the old days, such a phenomenon as an energy vampire husband was extremely popular. How to defend themselves and cope with such an onslaught, no one knew and did not even want to know. And all because a woman, in fact, was not equated with a "man". Remember, before the beginning of the twentieth century, men ruled the world. It was common to humiliate a wife without taking into account her wishes, not paying attention to her, etc. In a modern, one might say, feminist society, this has long outlived itself, but some girls who are emotionally weak fall into the hook of such "medieval tyrants". The latter, in turn, are aware of their superiority and that they need to constantly feed on energy from their neighbors, so they commit all their negative actions intentionally. The only thing the victim can do is get away from such a "patron" as soon as possible.
Don't jump to conclusions
Having caught at least one of the above factors in your man, you can think about whether he is an energy vampire. But there is no need to baselessly accuse a person of such a "sin" if he stumbled or broke once. Remember that "bloodsuckers" commit their "crimes" with enviable regularity, and after that, complete devastation reigns in your soul. If a husband once came home from work without a mood and slandered his boss or you quarreled over something, this does not mean that he decided to feed on your energy. There are no ideal relationships, people are often in a bad mood, and many external factors can be the reason for this. Therefore, first of all - analysis, and only then we make a diagnosis.
Conclusion
We figured out what qualities a husband-energy vampire can have, signs. How to protect yourself from the influence of such a person is an individual matter, but generalized advice will help you find the right way to solve the problem. You should not chop off your shoulder and get divorced, but you also can’t endure it. Such problems are solvable, but only if both parties want it.
