Self-doubt is a problem that exists at all times, because there have always been indecisive people in society. This situation causes a lot of trouble, but, on the other hand, it becomes an occasion for further development of the personality. Let's look at this emotional state of a person, find out the reason for its occurrence and ways to restore faith in oneself.
The problem of self-doubt
A weak and insecure nature becomes a real puppet, which can be easily controlled by stronger personalities. It is enough for such a person to be informed about the absurdity of his actions, and he, without hesitation, redoes what he started. This ancient problem of self-doubt prevents the achievement of goals, as a person underestimates his abilities and is afraid to take a decisive step. Thus, the opportunity to enter a prestigious university or make new friends is lost.
An insecure individual is not always calm. He can behave quite aggressively towards others to compensate for his complex.inferiority. For this reason, the individual often uses physical force against weak people.
Cause of uncertainty
In each psychological theory, there are different versions of the emergence of uncertainty. According to Albert Bandura (Canadian psychologist), this feeling arises in childhood itself as a result of the child copying the behavior patterns of others. Also, if parents often told their baby about the low level of development of his mental abilities, he begins to believe in it. Over the years, the imposed opinion is reinforced by failures in life, the rude behavior of the people around, and much more.
Martin Seligman (an American scientist) explains the reasons for the emergence of uncertainty by the fact that the personality of a child is influenced not only by the behavior of adults, but also by the reaction of others. Such interaction determines the positive or negative development of the personality (learned helplessness).
The ancient problem of self-doubt is explained by the lack of results from human activity. It arises due to low self-esteem, which is formed from a huge number of negative opinions of parents, teachers, friends. All this seriously reduces social initiative and creates negative emotions.
All considered causes of an inferiority complex are formed in the process of development and formation of a personality. Every person is endowed with mental and physical disabilities at birth, which can complicate orfacilitate socialization, but do not determine the level of self-confidence.
Positive side
Psychologists believe that this character trait protects a person from negative collisions with the outside world. Over time, uncertainty turns into a high level of anxiety, and builds a psychological barrier, within which there is a safe territory for a person.
Self-doubt. Signs
The main signal of the loss of faith in oneself is that a person does not try to achieve his goal just because he is afraid to try. Perhaps he convinced himself of failure in advance and fears ridicule, resentment and defeat. If you belong to the category of such people, remember: everyone has made mistakes, but in order to take a decisive step, you need character. Better to fail than to do nothing. People who are overly cautious lose their confidence just because they don't have any achievements.
The second sign that you have been visited by the virus of uncertainty is the embellishment of reality. The desire to tell a lie is due to the fact that the individual is trying to make a good impression on other people and shows himself supposedly on the positive side. The thing is that he has no other way to make others respect him, but self-respect is lost from such lies.
The third signal is low self-esteem. This problem is common among teenagers. In this case, it should be understood that every person has many shortcomings, but if you constantly look for them in yourself, you will constantly belittle yourself. We need to stop this immediately, otherwisethe ancient problem of self-doubt will never be solved!
The fourth sign is the desire to be like everyone else, because the arguments of others seem more convincing than their own. Gaining faith in yourself requires approval from other people. This entails the emergence of such bad habits as smoking, drinking alcohol and even drugs. Conclusion: weak character can be harmful to he alth.
The fifth signal indicating a negative emotional state is the desire to be like another person (behaviour, image, appearance). Here is what psychology says about this: self-doubt arises when a person seeks to compare himself with others. Thus, she attaches more importance to others than to herself. If you constantly look for an idol for yourself, the individual will constantly change and be at a loss, as the standards change. For this reason, a person will forever remain insecure! Self-respect is only possible when we realize that each of us is unique.
The problem of self-doubt: arguments
It is very easy to recognize a timid person by certain behaviors and communication:
- insecure people deny compliments and joyful events, considering them an accident;
- persons who do not have faith in themselves always try to justify themselves if they look good;
- the category of people under consideration always expresses its own judgments in the form of doubt, using the phrases “Don’t you?”, “Youagree with me?" etc.;
- their own merits are attributed to another person, for example: “Yes, I only helped a little, Marya Ivanovna did the main work”;
- insecure people think negatively about themselves and believe that they can't do anything, everything always messes up, etc.
If you are visited by such thoughts, drive them away, otherwise the feeling of insecurity will increase over time. Remember your victories and don't focus on your losses.
10 ways to overcome shyness
Want to change but don't know how? Simple recommendations will help solve the problem.
- Keep a separate diary and record in it all your achievements, even the smallest ones.
- Don't criticize yourself for your failures and weaknesses, even the smallest ones. Use the phrases “Anyway, I’m doing well for trying”, “It’s okay, next time it will definitely work out”, etc.
- Don't focus on negative thoughts and cases, learn to draw conclusions, and then throw out of your head events that do not radically change your life.
- Stop comparing yourself to others and remember that perfect people don't exist.
- Make yourself such attitudes as: “I can”, “Next time I will do better”, “Today I will have a wonderful day.”
- Feel free to compliment and respond with a sincere "thank you"
- When talking to people, say more nice things to them. They will begin to see the good in you too.
- Surroundcheerful and good friends, they are sure to make you happy.
- Watch your gait: it should be calm and confident, always walk with your head up.
- Smile more often and think positively about your future.
You will be happy surrounded by positive people, and the ancient problem of self-doubt makes not only you unhappy, but also your loved ones. Work on yourself, then joy, independence, ability to solve problems, faith in yourself and much more will be your reward.
