A midlife crisis always creeps up unexpectedly. You turn 30 or 35 and suddenly depression is on the horizon. You want changes, because it seems that life is almost over and old age is just around the corner. How to get rid of these intrusive thoughts? Read below.
What is a midlife crisis?
This is a condition that appears in men and women in the middle of their life path. The midlife crisis marks a new phase in your life. Usually it comes along with the next birthday. A person involuntarily thinks about age, then looks at himself in the mirror and suddenly realizes that his appearance is slowly starting to change. Wrinkles appear, the figure swims and it seems that nothing good in life awaits you. What is a midlife crisis? It is the awareness of approaching death. A person understands that most of his goals and plans have not become a reality, and the allotted time may not be enough to make his dream come true. Some people may realize that they are living with an unlovedpeople, go to boring jobs and have never traveled abroad. At this turning point, a person can choose several paths. He will either begin to realize long-established goals, or succumb to depression and begin to engage in self-flagellation. And then, for the sake of self-affirmation, he can start buying expensive toys that he cannot afford. It can be cars, apartments or a widescreen TV. But such a thoughtless amount of loans does not help a person feel better, but only aggravates the problems even more.
Crisis happens to everyone?
No, not all people are affected by this problem. Some may live happily into retirement and never know what a midlife crisis is. Why do some suffer and others don't? People who know how to set goals and achieve what they want, those who have a family and children in time, those who know how to get along with others, will be able to avoid problems. The midlife crisis affects people with low self-esteem who are used to putting off life until later. It always seems to such people that tomorrow will come, and on this mythical day everything can change. And today you can relax and watch TV. Miracles don't happen. So you have to pay for laziness and apathy with psychological problems. If a person has not achieved anything by the middle of his life path, and there is a certain imbalance in the life spheres, then problems will not be long in coming.
Symptoms
Midlife crisis- it's not a disease. Some people consider it even a normal life phenomenon. But it's not. A crisis is a state into which a person falls who does not solve the accumulated psychological problems for a long time. If you settle everything in time, go to a psychotherapist or independently find solutions to difficult life situations, then problems will be easily avoided. But so rarely do our compatriots. Do you know at least one person who goes to a psychotherapist? Hardly. Even if your friend signs up for such a session, he will be ashamed to tell others that he needed help.
The accumulated problems do not find a way out day after day. And any little thing can be the last straw. But still, if you replace the symptoms in time, you can not bring your condition to a crisis. If you study yourself well, you can even conduct psychotherapy yourself.
What are the symptoms of a midlife crisis in women and men?
- dissatisfied with their appearance,
- lack of entertainment,
- quarrels with your partner,
- dissatisfaction with children,
- misunderstanding at work,
- lack of sports in life.
If you are about 30 now, you should notice all your breakdowns. They show your weaknesses. If you quarrel with your husband every day, then think about why there are quarrels? Perhaps you want to attract the attention of a man in this way? Or maybe you want to assert yourself? Find the true problem of the conflict and deal with it.
Causes of the crisis
You understood the symptoms of the problem, now you need to understand the causes. One of the most common in men is dissatisfaction with life. Everyone wants to do what they love, achieve a position in society and have an interesting social circle. And if a person does not achieve this, he begins to stress. The causes of the midlife crisis in women are the absence of a family and children. Every girl dreams of a big and friendly family. And if a woman has not been able to give birth before the age of 40, the chances of doing this in the future are reduced to zero. For many, this is what constitutes psychological trauma. At the age of 30, it seemed to the girls that they first needed to take up a career, and the family could be relegated to the background. And then it turned out that work at night does not heat. Men are the least worried about unborn children. After all, they will be able to fertilize a woman even at 60 years old.
Another cause of a midlife crisis can be aging. Because of the change in appearance, not only women, but also men are experiencing. After all, they understand that the peak of their physical activity has already passed, and now, in order to maintain a good shape, you need to make two or even three times more effort than before.
Treatment
What is the cure for a midlife crisis and at what age does it strike a person? Each individual has his own psychology, his complexes and principles. Therefore, the midlife crisis begins differently for everyone. For some, it can start at 30. This is not uncommon for people who grew up without parents. Due to the lack of warmth and support in childhood, various complexes can develop, whichwill let a person know about themselves only at a conscious age. If a person grew up in a normal family, the crisis will overtake him in the period from 35 to 40. At this time, if a person has not achieved success in all areas of life, she will begin to have problems and depression. It will seem that the world has become gray and it would be time to change something. But psychologists say that no matter how a person tries to run away from himself, this will not work. So if it seems to you that moving from Moscow to the Maldives will correct the situation, then this is only an illusion. You have to deal with yourself. And if you can't do it, you need to go to a specialist.
How to survive a midlife crisis? You need to find a purpose in life. Write down your childhood desires and hobbies and renew them. Nobody will judge you for this. If you lack emotions - jump with a parachute or go horseback riding. If you're still not happy with your personal life, start dating. Try to find a balance between home, work, family, friends, sports, entertainment and self-development. And if you succeed, you can consider that you successfully got out of the crisis.
Or maybe leave the family?
Midlife crisis in men after 40 is often associated with such a question. It seems to a man that another woman can make him happier. But the question you should ask yourself is this: why does my wife not suit me? If a man could live peacefully with a woman for 10 years, it means that she suited him perfectly. Leaving a family is a difficult decision. It cannot be taken lightly. Especially if there are children. A man must be clear about himself.in what exactly he wants to find in a new relationship? Passion, tenderness, mutual understanding or love? First you need to talk to your wife. Maybe she misses it too. You can always leave. First you need to try to save the marriage. And if nothing can be done, then parting will be the best solution.
Midlife crises are a little different for women than for men. The fair sex is more phlegmatic, so ruining a marriage is quite easy for them. Especially this decision is easily made by ladies who have already managed to acquire a lover. It seems to a woman that a new man will love her forever, that passion cannot disappear. But it should be understood that until a person changes himself, he will attract the same people with the same characters and views of the world.
Will a change of image help?
How does a midlife crisis manifest itself after 30? Symptoms in women can be as follows: they look in the mirror and see the first wrinkles, gray hair, age spots on the skin. All of this brings to mind the approaching old age. But no woman wants to grow old. Therefore, many decide at this age for plastic surgery. They do a facelift, they can even change the shape of the nose or lips. It seems to them that their life did not work out because of some external shortcomings, and not because of internal complexes. What's the point of changing your hairstyle or hair color if it doesn't change your thoughts? Of course, some people find it easier to set themselves up for the fact that a new life muststart with external changes. But remember: nothing in life will change until you change.
What should I do if my husband has a midlife crisis and he begins to look younger? Pay your attention to it. After all, men, like women, always want to look prettier for the opposite sex. Therefore, the wife should be the first to appreciate the efforts of a man. After all, if a close woman does not do this, there will be someone on the side who can appreciate the efforts.
Take care of your he alth
How to treat midlife crisis in men? By the age of 35, the body begins to lose its former shape and strength. And in order not to be horrified, looking at yourself in the mirror, you need to play sports. This will help avoid many he alth problems. And most importantly, people who go in for sports think more soberly and in an original way. The flow of oxygen and blood to the brain helps improve cognitive abilities. Sports are also a great way to kind of meditate. In this state, it is difficult to think or engage in self-flagellation. After all, you need to focus on breathing and count the approaches to the sports equipment. After a workout, no person feels bad, at least mentally. So if you don't know what to do or how to improve your life, you can safely go to the gym.
And what to do after the midlife crisis? Never stop your workouts. Don't take fitness as medicine. Think of sports as an integral part of life. Then he will go to the halleasier.
Children are the flowers of life
Think about why you came into this world? Right, to fulfill your mission in life. But you will die someday. And in order to pass on your accumulated knowledge and experience, you need to think about children. They are what make life complete. Yes, you can’t make a child the meaning of your life and the center of the universe. But it is the children who will brighten up your old age and bring a glass of water when you are no longer able to get up. Therefore, in order to avoid a midlife crisis, think about children at 28. And if you give birth to your first child before 30, perhaps psychological problems will bypass you. You don't have to wind yourself up and envy married couples with children.
And what are the symptoms of a midlife crisis in men over 40? At this age, a man understands that children are part of his life. And if they are, he begins to take an active part in their development. But earning children's attention and love is sometimes not easy. Especially if the guys rarely see dad. Therefore, a man can become depressed because his own children do not love him. In order not to look for an answer to the question of how to earn the sympathy of a child, you should pay attention to your child from his very birth.
Prevention
In order not to think about what a man should do after a midlife crisis, you should, having felt his symptoms, immediately begin to solve the problem. What to do prevention? Shoulddo a little exercise. Draw a circle and divide it into those areas of life that seem important to you. It can be family, work, self-development, friends, love, sports, etc. Now put an end to each sector. It should be closer to the middle, the less attention you pay to this area. Then connect the dots. Don't worry if you end up with a tarantula instead of a circle. Your job is to get your life in order. If you do not take care of your he alth, sign up for a massage or a pool, if you do not pay attention to your family, stop working in the evenings. Do this exercise every week and you will always know what area of your life needs more attention.
To always feel confident, you need to work with your self-esteem. Many people manage to live a whole life without experiencing any pleasure from life itself. It is clear that in such a situation, a midlife crisis will not be long in coming. If a person spends at least every weekend interestingly, going on trips, gathering with friends, getting out into the forest, then he will not get the impression that life is passing by. But if a person spends his free evenings and all his weekends watching TV, then it will not be difficult to understand what threatens this person at the age of 30 along with obesity.
Learn to do everything in advance. This will help you a lot in life. If you are not exhausted all the time because you are doing a project at the last moment, you will have time to spend it alone with yourthoughts. Do you find it difficult? Yes, organizing your life can sometimes be difficult. But when you are in control of everything that happens, calmly making some adjustments that will always appear, it will be easier to keep track of what is happening around you. In this way, it will be easy to develop the habit of analyzing. And this skill will help you sort out all your problems in a proven way.
