Everyone wants not only to feel needed, but also to be. And this is normal, these are manifestations of human nature. This is confirmed by the words of Mother Teresa, who tried to convey to people that to be unnecessary, unloved, forgotten by everyone means to be much more hungry and poor than not having food and we alth. And it doesn’t matter at all in what situation you began to feel superfluous, it could be a party, or work, or a trip with friends, the feeling of uselessness and alienation always hits the very heart. Numerous studies have proven that feeling unwanted affects the same area of the brain as physical pain. But this does not mean at all that you need to lock yourself at home and cry into a pillow, this feeling must and can be fought, as well as learning to develop relationships with people and learn something new about social rejection.
How to deal with feelings?
To start fighting with your own feelings, you need to accept yourself and the current situation - you can't do without it. ATFirst of all, people with low self-esteem suffer, they react very sharply to problems in communication and blame only themselves for everything. But if you learn to accept yourself, love yourself, then a priori self-esteem will increase, and the degree of influence of emotions on a person’s state will decrease. But this process is quite complicated, it will take a long time and hard to understand yourself and your thoughts, to look for weaknesses and strengths. It doesn't work instantly. Learn to focus on your strengths, highlight your strengths. Repeat to yourself every day that you accept yourself the way you are. Let you be unnecessary, this is normal, you are not alone. It is only important to accept, survive and move forward, no matter what.
Look for the positive everywhere
The ability to look for positive moments for yourself in any situation, even the most unpleasant one, is a real art. If it is easier to relate to your position, then it will be much easier to survive troubles. Let's look for the pros right away. For example, psychologists are sure that people rejected by society become more creative, as they begin to express their thoughts through art. This feeling of being different from others can develop into something serious professionally, people start writing poetry, music, photographing nature and so on. Your primary task is to analyze the situation and make a list of pluses that are definitely there. For example, now you have more time to spend time alone, you can do self-development, you can analyze yourposition and conclude which people are worth communicating with further, and which do not deserve your time and effort.
Don't think negatively of yourself
You exist in this world, and you are the only one. There are no others even similar. The feeling of uselessness entails even more negative thoughts. A person begins to convince himself that no one loves him, because he is somehow not like everyone else, not handsome enough, smart enough, and so on. These feelings are akin to shame and humiliation. They absolutely should not be in your life. To get on the path of change, you should start by analyzing the thoughts that visit you and change them to a positive attitude. For example, someone told you that he doesn't like you. So what? You should not give yourself up to suffering 100%, because there are people in this world who like you, and if your appearance or behavior was not to the liking of any particular person, this is absolutely not a problem. After all, you are not $100 to please everyone. Because of someone's words, you will not become worse or better, you will remain the same as you are.
Protect
People who, at the right moment, know how to extend their claws and defend themselves, endure rejection and the feeling of uselessness much easier. All this is explained by science: in such people, the level of the stress hormone is lower even in the most critical situations. How to get rid of the feeling of uselessness? Remember the pleasant experience of relationships, those moments when someone needed you and focus on this positive. Be stronger and just move away from people who give you unpleasant emotions. Can't sleep with a feeling of uselessness? Then pay attention to what you think. If you catch yourself thinking that you are constantly thinking about yourself in a negative aspect, scold yourself for it. Try to control the appearance of such thoughts and immediately be distracted by something positive. Stop replaying in your head over and over those moments when you felt a sense of your own uselessness, occupy your head with something new. It can be thoughts about work, study, self-development, and so on. Go in for sports, go shopping, do everything to get rid of the feeling of uselessness.
Just move on
Yes, we all face the injustice and cruelty of this world, it's hard to hide from it, but the ability to forget people who are not worth your time and effort, the ability to get up and move forward, even if it was very painful to fall - that's it is very difficult to live without it. Making someone love you and vice versa is impossible, but trying to focus on the relationship that you have will be very helpful. People who ignore you, try to humiliate or be rude in every possible way, should be let go and continue to live on.
Working on positive relationships
But it doesn't always happen that it's about others, in order to understand yourself and get rid of the feeling of uselessness in a relationship, it is recommended to analyze your own behavior. Maybe it was some of your actions or mistakes that becamethe impetus for such a situation to occur. Try to develop communication skills, learn to speak and listen. Here a psychologist comes to the rescue, who will help to understand everything. Do not engage in self-hypnosis and do not expect rejection from others. Our self-confidence, our thoughts are reflected in those with whom we communicate. If you constantly think and act like you're the odd one out, people will start treating you that way.
Don't forget to think of yourself
If you learn to accept yourself, love yourself, then it will be much easier for others to do the same. A self-confident person can be seen from afar, and other people feel it too. Do you think how to get rid of the feeling of uselessness? It's simple: focus on work or school. Success in your professional life is a great help to cope with the feeling of uselessness. Achieving goals is a direct path to feeling confident in yourself and in your abilities. In no case do not lock yourself at home, constantly scrolling through your head the thoughts that no one needs you. Treat yourself, you deserve it.
Tips
The feeling of uselessness in psychology is considered as one of the aspects of low self-esteem. To prevent this turn of events, you can take note of the following tips:
- Tell people you trust about your condition.
- Surround yourself with people who always support you and give you positive.
- Don't let others influence your condition. If you feel abandoned in the company of friends, tell them about it. If anothing will change, you will have to look for new acquaintances, but the nerves will be in order.
- If you don't get invited to the party, find something more fun to do instead of being upset all evening. In any case, you can throw a holiday at home.
Calmness and a rational attitude towards the situation is the key to success and well-being. Think of yourself first, not those who give you trouble.
