The concept of an inferiority complex stems from psychology. It is often used in everyday speech in relation to clamped people with low self-esteem. Everyday and scientific concepts are intertwined, so they are somewhat similar, but there are some differences between them. Alfred Adler was the first to describe this psychological phenomenon.
What is a "complex" in psychology?
Despite the fact that in everyday life the word "complex" in relation to a person has a very negative connotation, in psychology everything is somewhat different. This term denotes a set of attitudes, mechanisms and sensations that are formed around one specific affect. They influence the life and development of the individual.
Basically, these processes take place on a subconscious level, even if they were formed on a conscious level. When an object (thought) is in the zone of consciousness, we can control it and use it. If this is somethingpasses into the zone of the subconscious, then it begins to control us. Therefore, complexes affect our lives without our consent. In this case, affect is called an emotion or an emotional process.
"Gift" from childhood
Unlike the talents and abilities that are given to us from birth, an inferiority complex is an acquired thing. As a rule, society is the cause or medium of its acquisition. Do not forget that the family is also a society.
Most often, the whole bunch of negative self-destructive attitudes is born after the rash words of parents or peers. It is worth adding that for a normally developing thinking child, the words of an adult are a constitution. Until the age of 10-11, children are guided by their elders, then by their peers.
One word from a mother - "sloppy", "ugly" or "stupid" - said to her child, is equated to the exclamation of the crowd.
A word tied to a person is a grain that may not germinate for several years, but sit firmly in the subconscious. At the slightest favorable condition, it will make itself felt. And that's just one word.
What to say about those cases when such statements are part of everyday communication. If a person is called a pig a hundred times, he grunts a hundred and first. An inferiority complex in men, like in women, is formed from childhood.
Denying your desires
Our entire existence is driven by our desires. In newborns they are moresimple, primitive. The older a child gets, the more complex their wants and needs become.
Desires provoke certain emotions that activate our body and give strength for their fulfillment. Initially, for any creature, personal desires are priority. And while they move a person, he is under their control more than anything else.
A child who has well-defined needs is more likely to listen to them than to the advice of adults. At this point, parents lose control over their child. In order not to bother thinking about why this happened, they simply knock the ground out from under their feet with one phrase: "Oh, what a bad boy (girl) you are."
Sometimes this is formulated as a hint that your desires are worth nothing, they are irrelevant, too expensive, stupid, wrong.
Think about what the phrases can then lead to: "you have hands from one place", "you are worth nothing", "I wish I hadn't given birth to you", "only a dumbass can do this", etc..
What does the devaluation of desires lead to
One cannot say that all children's whims should be meekly performed by parents, adults or peers. This also provokes disharmonic development of the personality. But if every “I want” is answered with a sharp refusal, complete with reproaches, screams, condemnation or classic ignoring, this will lead to the fact that a person will grow up, but the personality in him will not, because the core that feeds on desires andambition of the individual, initially broken.
This is not to say that such a person has no future or hope of "healing". We will talk about what exactly can change the mechanisms and installations below.
Depreciation of the desires and needs of the individual leads to low self-esteem and an inferiority complex. If a person's desires are equated to zero, then he feels like a nobody.
How it manifests
Signs of an inferiority complex can be both pronounced and latent (hidden).
Sometimes one glance at a person is enough to understand whether he is satisfied with life or not. Signs of low self-esteem can include: slouching, head tilting all the time, slurring, stuttering when speaking, crossing arms all the time, etc.
But sometimes an inferiority complex is hidden behind a bright mask of emancipation, brilliance and gloss.
This problem can manifest itself in two ways. On the one hand - the fear of people, especially strangers, and on the other - the constant search for new acquaintances.
Because people with an inferiority complex feel inferior to others, they need regular approval of their actions from others. This is easier to achieve from people you don't know well.
Feeling worthless can be accompanied by constant talk about your imperfections or obsessive boasting. It depends on which compensation mechanism the person chooses.
An example of an inferiority complex can be as a wholea wardrobe of world fashion brands, expensive cars or other deliberate status symbols, and going into marginality. The latter is manifested by integration into the subculture, actions contrary to society.
People with this complex regularly run a program of self-condemnation. Moving into marginality provides an opportunity to cling to a less successful society, in which one can begin to condemn everyone else and thus assert oneself.
Departure into various deviations (both positive and negative) can also be considered a sign of an inferiority complex. Drug addiction, alcoholism and smoking is a desire to join society and not be a black sheep.
Forecasts
How to get rid of an inferiority complex? Unfortunately, it is impossible to recover completely from this psychological illness, since there is always a risk that the mechanisms of self-flagellation are activated when meeting with an irritant. But you can muffle it, compensate or get rid of the cause.
Compensation brings only temporary satisfaction or does not bring it at all. All actions are performed for the public, not for themselves. The person still considers himself inferior to others. At the same time, he does everything so that others do not suspect about it, spends energy and receives only a momentary joy.
Compensation
Inferiority complex in women, like men, is accompanied by self-flagellation and inability to listen to their personal desires. This can be compared to a tasteless salad that you buy because its photolooks beautiful on Instagram.
"I want to lose weight so I can feel lighter" and "I want to lose weight so I'm not considered fat" are completely different things. In the first case, you fulfill your desires, and in the other, society. Similarly, "I want to drive fast and comfortably" and "I want a Mercedes" are two different topics. The first is self-satisfaction, the second is work for status.
Compensation can also be considered the humiliation of others. Often people with an inferiority complex, in order to feel normal, do their best to look for flaws in others. Usually the range of searches is limited to those features and characteristics that these people themselves possess. So, a stupid person will look for narrow-mindedness, an absent-minded one - absent-mindedness, a bow-legged one - bow-legged, a slovenly one - slovenliness, etc. And whoever seeks always finds. By emphasizing this shortcoming in another, a person temporarily feels full.
Work on shortcomings
You can get rid of an inferiority complex by coping with a personal (internal) cause or by changing your attitude towards it.
If the feeling of your own worthlessness arose after you did not tell about the Pythagorean theorem, it is enough to learn it. If this is due to a long nose, then correcting the situation is much more difficult.
All the external flaws that people look for in themselves can be corrected. In extreme cases, plastic surgery can help. Therefore, there is no need to torment yourself, savoring the mistakes madenature when creating your look.
Lifestyle changes
Sometimes, to get rid of an inferiority complex, it is enough to change the environment or society. If it arose in a circle of certain people (whether it be family, classmates, friends or colleagues), then in this environment it will either doze, or seethe, but will not disappear.
You need to make great efforts to change yourself and change your attitude at the same time. That is why many get rid of the inferiority complex by leaving the family, changing the place of residence.
You need to remove yourself for some time from the field of view of those people who provoke the development of complexes in you, and at the same time change yourself. This disrupts the usual mechanisms that work in response to a stimulus.
However, returning to the "native land" often restarts the hated mechanisms.
Cultivating self-esteem
Strong-minded people choose this strategy. If at school I didn’t know mathematics well, I’ll go to study as a mathematics teacher (“I’ll prove to everyone that I know this subject”). You can give many examples of compensation: "I moved badly - I will be a dancer", "I was afraid to leave my mother - I will become a traveler." Not life, but continuous compensation for such people, but excitement helps to get rid of the cause of the inferiority complex. Such people often become highly qualified specialists.
No lies
As a rule, people with an inferiority complex are used to lying orfantasize. These can be trifles that do not bring any benefit, but are aimed at hiding their low self-esteem. There are a lot of examples of such petty lies: a girl touching up her appearance in Photoshop, a guy telling how he was driving "his" car.
At the same time, these people are very honest in global matters. If you are experiencing these symptoms, then getting rid of them may be the key to solving the problem.
