Informal communication is all kinds of personal contacts that take place outside of official relations. In simple terms, it means a conversation between people without restrictions and compliance with the rules. And informal communication most often occurs spontaneously. To make contact with someone, a person does not need to formulate phrases in advance, come up with topics and prepare his thoughts. In this case, everything is much simpler. But from the point of view of psychology, this topic is of considerable interest. So it's worth exploring it further.
Types of communication
First I would like to pay attention to general concepts. Consider the types and forms of communication, to be more precise. It's worth starting with the most common classification.
There is a material association. We encounter it regularly, because it involves the exchange of products of activity oritems. Cognitive communication is also not rare. It involves the exchange of knowledge and information. And this means not only the contact between the teacher and students, the lecturer and students, the boss and subordinates. If one friend calls another to inquire about the weather in his city before coming to visit, this is also cognitive communication. Let it be informal.
Also, we are all very familiar with conditioned communication. With peers, it is practiced most often. After all, the exchange of emotions and feelings is implied. A striking example is when a person tries to cheer up his sad friend.
Speaking about the types and forms of communication, we need to highlight one more category. It's called motivational. It implies the exchange of goals, desires, interests, motives and interests. It manifests itself both in informal and business communication. Trying to get a friend to go camping is as motivating as a bonus promised to the employee with the most deals.
The last type of communication in the traditional system is called activity. It consists in the exchange of skills and habits. It is carried out in the process of joint activities and often in a formal setting.
Primary level of intimacy
Now we can move on to the main topic. Psychologists believe that informal communication exists on the basis of two levels of intimacy. The initial one is called primary.
It is formed at the first contact. Surely it happened to everyone that after an hour of communication with a new acquaintanceone had the impression that he was an old good comrade. A long acquaintance is not required for this, a high spontaneity of emotional perception, an unconscious feeling of joy is manifested.
The situation does not lend itself to volitional regulation, since in the vast majority of cases the only thing people want is to continue the conversation. Not surprising, because the primary level is characterized by extraordinary ease, a high degree of understanding and trust, frankness. This is the same case when a newly-made friend, an hour after they met, is called a kindred spirit.
Rational level
It is formed after some time has passed since the beginning of communication between people. The rational level is based on the awareness by contacting people of the similarity of norms, values, life experience and attitudes. It is believed that such informal communication is more sustainable.
There are even traditionally distinguished groups that are often found in collectives. They are a small informal union within one large holistic business team.
Variety of groups
It is customary to single out "couples" - a union of two people who mutually sympathize with each other. Often one of them only complements or accompanies the other.
There are also "triangles". As you might have guessed, these are three people who experience mutual sympathy. They adhere to informal communication and form their own core within the business team - small, but close andunited.
Squares are also distinguished. Most often this is a set of pairs. And the relationship between them is not always the same intensity.
Also in the teams there are "chains", often a source of gossip, rumors and the well-known "spoiled phone".
The last informal group is called "star". Its core is a conditional leader, which unites all the others.
Contradictions
It is believed that the informal communication observed between members of the work team does not always have a positive effect on work activity.
Special contradictions are caused by situations in which friendly relations bind the leader and the subordinate. Gossip, speculation, envy and suspicion from other colleagues cannot be avoided. All actions of the employee will be considered almost under a microscope. Even a well-deserved praise or award will look like it was received “through pull”. Some people who are not marked by the goodwill of the authorities will be very angry, especially aggressive ones will not hesitate to start plotting.
And it happens that the employee himself, close to the management, begins to show frivolity, relaxation. Professional responsibilities recede into the background. Why focus on work when your buddy is the boss? In the end, everything ends badly. Informal communication and friendship are sharply suppressed. The leader is fed up with such behavior, and he begins to treat a friend not as a comrade, but as a useless irresponsible worker. That,Naturally, he is offended and loses the desire to communicate further. This is a vivid and frequent example of proof that personal relationships and business relationships should not be mixed.
On the example of friendship
There are different types of interpersonal relationships. But friendship is the best example of informal communication. It is based on sympathy, common interests and affection, and there is no place for a business style of speech in it.
Dialogue and monologue between friends is light, laid-back. Often they discuss something in their own language, their speech is replete with "private" neologisms. They have a trusting relationship, and they also know almost everything about each other.
What makes it possible to achieve such communication? Communication skills that are often not even realized by people. These include the ability to take into account not only your own representative system, but also the interlocutor. It is also important to be able to positively formulate the goals of communication, take into account the interests and values of the opponent, and be flexible in the process of dialogue. It is also necessary to be observant to changes in the emotional state of the interlocutor and tune in to his "wave" when necessary. And the above is only a small part of what the art of communicating with people implies.
Speech style
It is also worth noting attention. Surely everyone saw how the communication of children proceeds. It is effortless and as simple as possible. Children speak the way they think. Informal dialogue implies the same. This is a real moral rest forpersonality. After all, a person can express his thoughts the way he wants, and not as prescribed by the rules. What is called the colloquial style of speech.
Colloquial and colloquial vocabulary, neologisms, jargon, slang, phraseological units, expressively colored or diminutive words, truncation, substantiation - all this and much more can contain dialogue and monologue, sustained in a colloquial style.
Speech "interference"
In general, as one could understand from the above, a person in an informal style of communication is given complete freedom of speech. However, not everyone can use it. Why? Everything is elementary. Many people become so accustomed to communicating in a businesslike manner that even being in an informal setting, they continue to talk in a formal style.
In principle, there is nothing wrong with that, but sometimes it looks out of place. After all, the business style of speech is characterized by compactness and conciseness of presentation, the use of specific terminology, denominative prepositions, complex conjunctions and verbal nouns. But most of all, the lack of emotional speech means and expression attracts attention.
Distance
So, the characteristics of communication styles were given, now I would like to pay attention to the importance of distance. All people are in contact with each other, being at a certain distance. Traditionally, there are four communication zones.
The first is intimate (about 15 cm). Only the closest people usually fall into this zone. Because it can be comparedwith private intangible property - this is a very personal space. If an unpleasant or alien person tries to get in there, then there is a feeling of discomfort.
The second zone is called personal (up to 50 cm). Suitable for both business and informal communication. Approximately half a meter and usually separates friends talking at ease in a bar or cafe at a table. It is more convenient to see the interlocutor.
The third and fourth zones are called social (up to 1.2 m) and public (over 1.2 m). They are typical for formal communication.
Communication rules: what not to do
This topic is also worth noting. From early childhood, communication with peers teaches us to build a dialogue, cooperate with people around us, and exchange opinions. Over the years, primitive skills are enriched, improved, replenished with new ones. However, there are people who find it very difficult to find a language with others. Sometimes, business relations seem to them simpler than informal, everyday ones. They are the ones who care about how to properly communicate with people, and what should be avoided in the process.
If you want to build a positive and productive dialogue, then you don't need to ask personal and vulgar questions. Flattery should also be avoided. A discreet compliment is able to please the interlocutor and set him up for a conversation, but excessive admiration, bordering on fanaticism, will only alert.
You don't have to "twitch" yet. It is important to keep your body under control. And it’s not enough to talk about yourself, interrupt, shout over, lie and invent something, just to develop the conversation. Also don't needthink too long about the answer and look past the interlocutor - you have to learn to deal with embarrassment.
Principles of good dialogue
Continuing the topic of how to communicate correctly, it is worth noting the rules that are the basis of informal relationships.
The most important of them - do not be afraid to show interest in the interlocutor. No idea how to start a conversation? You can just ask the person to be interesting. Let him tell you something about himself. The question can be about anything. Favorite movies, music genre, places to stay in the city. Without bringing the conversation to the topic, you can ask if a person has been anywhere abroad. Yes? Then it will not be superfluous to clarify exactly where and what is interesting there. Not? So, you can clarify whether there is a desire to go somewhere and see something. This theme is very easy to develop.
You can still discuss something topical. Every day, countless events take place in the world. Nobody forbids highlighting the most significant of them and asking the interlocutor what he thinks of him. Then, in most cases, in the course of the conversation, a few more topics suitable for discussion “pop up”.
Correspondence
This is a great way to improve your art of communicating with people. Today, social networks provide endless opportunities for this. In addition, the written form of informal communication is much easier than oral.
Firstly, a person has a chance to formulate his thought. He can type it in the window, reread it, correct it. Or delete and write again,differently. In other words, a person in social networks is able to learn how to build a dialogue correctly.
In addition to the formation of a culture of communication, an emotional “disclosure” of the personality is also carried out. A person who previously did not know how to communicate, who suffered from shyness, indecision and complexes, acquires skills that are necessary for existence in society. The most important thing is to learn how to transfer them to reality later.
Finally
Summarizing, I would like to say that informal relationships are the best example of social interaction between people. In the course of them, the individual uniqueness of each person, peculiar manners, specificity of speech and communication are manifested. It is the informal, everyday, simple atmosphere that allows you to recognize this or that individual as a person with a capital letter. Because in any other forms and types of communication there are rules and boundaries. And only in the informal sphere this is not the case.
