An indecisive person is a shy and doubtful person who is very difficult to live with. Such people are embarrassed to interact with others. For this reason, they have a narrow circle of acquaintances and many secret desires that cannot be realized. Is it possible to overcome shyness and raise your self-esteem? What do I need to do? Answers in our article.
Definition
Who is an indecisive person? The definition of this concept is as follows: this is a shy person who is unable to make decisions on his own. People of this temperament always need to ask for advice from others. Indecisive persons are afraid of responsibility. Such fear extends not only to the area of work activity, but also to personal life.
A person who is afraid of making mistakes, asks for advice from others and acts in accordance with the decisions made by other people. This way of thinking is absurd, because no onecannot guarantee that a recommendation given by anyone will be useful. But such a way of shifting responsibility onto other people's shoulders relieves the person of responsibility. If something goes wrong in life, then indecisive persons say that they are not to blame for the failures, because the wrong decision was not the result of their intellectual activity, but the result of a hint from an outside individual.
Signs
What does an indecisive person look like? Such a person is easy to distinguish from the crowd. A person behaves very modestly and tries to get lost behind the backs of other people. In order to better disguise himself, he prefers to wear clothes of discreet shades (gray or black). The gaze of such a person does not focus on anything in particular. When talking to an indecisive person, you can see that she will not look into your eyes, but somewhere far away.
The indecisive person likes to stoop. His movements are constrained, unnatural, and sometimes too fussy. The person tries to become inconspicuous, so he will try to close himself from strangers. This can be clearly seen in the gestures of an indecisive person. He will assume closed postures, constantly crossing his arms and legs. Psychologists say so.
In addition, it can be seen that indecisive people shift from foot to foot for a long time before entering, for example, into the office of some official, they sit with their knees together, while women press their handbag to their chest.
Modesty is another sign of a shy person. Such a person will neversomeone to prove or show something. The person will try not to stand out from the crowd. Among indecisive people, there are often truly talented people, but they are afraid to demonstrate their abilities, as they are not sure that others will appreciate their talent.
All problems come from childhood
Why do some people have confidence while others become indecisive? A person who was brought up in a normal family will grow into a worthy citizen without inferiority complexes. Unfortunately, many parents cannot properly raise their children, so even with the best wishes, they manage to impose a bunch of complexes on their children. For example, in a family where parents love to teach, instruct and control everything, the child will grow up modest and downtrodden. Why? Hyper-care will not allow the child to develop normally. The child will begin to love peace and quiet. Subsequently, he will be comfortable in his company, and not among other people.
Also, an indecisive person can grow out of a child who is always forbidden by everyone. Such persons get used to constantly asking adults what they can and cannot do. This habit becomes second nature and is very difficult to break afterwards.
Self-attitude
An extremely indecisive person is a person with low self-esteem. Such an individual is sure that he is worse than others, therefore he cannot act freely and liberatedly. A person has to constantly think about how to earn the love of others. But first you need to love yourself. Difficultto convince someone that you are good, if you yourself do not believe in it. There is nothing wrong with being open about your problem. In this case, it will be easier to get rid of it.
If an individual is aware that he is modest and insecure, he needs to understand the nature of his complexes. You should take responsibility for your actions on yourself, and not shift them to society. Even if an individual makes decisions incorrectly, it doesn’t make you love yourself any less. An insecure person must understand that he is individual and unique. There is no other such person in the world. Therefore, you should take good care of yourself. And you can start with the introduction of a daily ritual. Approaching the mirror in the morning, you should smile at your reflection and thank your parents, God, the Universe for being exactly the way you are.
Approval from outside
How to distinguish a confident person from a very indecisive person? If an individual constantly needs advice from outside or he is waiting for the approval of others, then he has internal problems. A person who has high self-esteem will love what he does. He will have no doubts about the correctness of his choice.
An indecisive person will think for a long time how to act and what to do. This does not apply to making important decisions on which business success depends, for example. Here you can not act thoughtlessly.
An indecisive person will always compare his opinion with what others say. If his opiniondisagrees with what others say, such an individual will reconsider his views. He will not defend them. Such logic is stupid. The individuality of a person is expressed in his actions. There is no point in pleasing everyone. You can ask for advice from others, but not everyone in a row, but only those whom you consider competent in a particular issue. After listening to criticism, you do not need to blindly believe it. Consider whether you are really being given good advice. Know how to listen to others, but do not blindly follow other people's recommendations, do not let others live instead of you.
Why change
Fighting your complexes is difficult, but it is necessary to do it. An indecisive person is called modest and shy. Many encourage these qualities. But in fact, uncertainty is more of a problem than a privilege. Why does a person need to change? To become strong and independent, to be able to do what you want yourself, and not someone else. It's never too late to start making changes for the better. The sooner you start working on yourself, the better, because you will have more time to realize your desires.
Self-confidence
Indecisive people ask others for advice, even in small things. For example, what is better to cook for dinner, what blouse to choose, where to go on vacation, what movie to watch. But is it necessary? After all, you will eat, dress, have fun, and not others. Why then choose what they like?
You can only ask for advicethat person who in life was able to reach certain heights, who has experience in any business. Of course, his tips are very important. They will help you avoid mistakes. In all other cases, be guided by your tastes and preferences. Start building your confidence. Psychologists give the following settings:
- Take responsibility for life into your own hands. Don't try to blame others for your failures. Make your own decisions. Yes, sometimes they fail. But celebrating a victory is much more pleasant if you realize that it is completely yours.
- Expand your circle of acquaintances. The wider your social circle, the better. New people will bring changes in your life. Thanks to this, you will change without making a titanic effort.
- Love yourself. Never do what you don't feel like doing. of course, this does not apply to duties that need to be performed, for example, activities with their own children, work activities, and so on. No one is telling you not to go to work because you don't feel like it. It's another matter if you don't like it. Then do not be afraid of change, look for a new job.
Your own path in life
Self-confidence comes to those people who know why they live. If you do not understand why you were born, it is difficult for you to become confident. Finding a calling can sometimes be very difficult, but that doesn't mean you don't have one. Doing all your life an unloved thing, you will not be able to feel good. A person who is dissatisfied with life is notcan exude confidence and optimism. But it is these qualities that are essential for a person with good self-esteem. Try to understand that you have to start respecting yourself. For what? You yourself must find the answer to this question.
