Some people, working on a solution to a problem, willingly take the trouble to help friends or colleagues who find themselves in a similar situation. In other words, they take on some of the responsibility of others. Often, interest shown out of courtesy or friendship becomes a cause for unnecessary embarrassment.
In any team there is an employee who is called irreplaceable. But upon closer examination, public praise may turn out to be a skillfully veiled manipulation of other people's abilities. How not to turn from volunteer to servant?
How to politely say "No!"
Tactful refusal is a great opportunity to refuse additional loads without stopping interaction with the team. You need to say “no” so as not to be among the unresponsive employees. Experts suggest taking this important step using one of the following techniques.
Method one. After listening carefully to the request, express readiness to take action immediately after thesuch important details:
- What obstacles might arise in the course of the work?
- Who should I contact for further clarification, if needed?
- Which operations should be done first and which should be left for later?
It is desirable to complete the clarification of the details with an innocent request: to voice the procedure again, in order to avoid misunderstandings. After such a conversation, the opponent will surely understand that he needs a more understanding assistant.
Method two. Fulfill the imposed duties so that in the future it would not occur to anyone to make such a request.
The third way. Transfer to the petitioner part of your work or household duties, for which now there is no time left.
Interest shown in others is no guarantee of physical involvement
Someone else's life difficulties will deprive a volunteer of inner comfort if, while helping others, he cannot solve his own problems. Practicing psychologists offer the following way out of the situation: imagine the people who are part of the social circle as random fellow travelers. Now you can watch them and ask about the details of their lives, but do not take the information to heart.
By allowing the interlocutor to "cry into his vest", without looking up from solving his own life tasks, a sympathetic person will not justify other people's hopes, but will not waste his own reserves.
Kindness needs boundaries
Man,showing interest in the emotional state of others and accepting their troubles as his own, runs the risk of launching a program of self-destruction. Experts recommend that such people learn to step back from the negative impact of extraneous emotions, giving priority to their own.
