What is flattery? Do you know how to flatter and for what purpose do you do it? Let's philosophize and plunge into the world of psychology a little.
What is flattery? "Flattery is verbal perfume," said the legendary Coco Chanel. And it really is. Dahl's explanatory dictionary states that flattery is insincere approval in order to achieve the set goals. I think everyone knows this, but is everyone able to recognize flattery without confusing it with a sincere recognition of your virtues? Not? Do you know why? The reason lies in our psychology. I'll explain now.
Recall from the basic knowledge of economics Maslow's pyramid, which represents all human needs, depending on their importance. It is incredibly important to us:
- physiological needs;
- security;
- belonging and love;
- respect;
- knowledge;
- aesthetic needs;
- self-actualization.
The most mediocre person can easily achieve all points except the last one. But in order to fully realize yourself, you need to put in enough effort and patience, which not everyone can do.
Ifyou are not a recognized personality, and nature demands its own, our subconscious finds a way out: we begin to elevate our significance as much as our conscience allows us. This is where flattery comes into play. In my opinion, Jean-Baptiste Moliere spoke very well on this subject in his work "The Miser": "Since there is no other means, it is no longer the one who flatters, but the one who wishes to be flattered."
This once again confirms the idea that sometimes even crude flattery works wonders in communicating with those people who are so hungry for recognition that they are ready to ignore the warnings of the inner voice about the insincerity of the speakers. So what is flattery - good or bad?
Flattery is cheap praise, in other words, saying out loud what your interlocutor thinks about himself.
What does flattery mean in the world of decision making?
Dale Carnegie, Sigmund Freud and other famous psychologists have proven that the only way to convince someone to do something is to give him the opportunity to want to do it. And the most effective way is skillful flattery.
Historical documents show that all great rulers were sensitive to flattery, and thanks to this vicious feeling, history was not created by them. As an example, I would like to cite Queen Victoria, the last representative of the Hanoverian dynasty. During her reign, Disraeli, who was the most refined flatterer in the history of the British Empire, had a huge influence on the decisions she made.
I'm not inIn no case do I urge you to practice flattery in your daily life. On the contrary, it is undesirable. What is flattery? This is a fake, which, like counterfeit money or works of art, will never do you any good. I foresee your thoughts: "What to do in this case?" It's simple, and again explained by human psychology.
A person spends 95% of his time thinking about himself. It is worth a little distraction, and you can easily consider in your interlocutor positive qualities worthy of admiration. Feel free to talk about them, it will be your sincere recognition of him as a person who has succeeded in some areas.
After reading the above thoughts, you yourself must come to the conclusion what flattery is and is it worth using it? Or maybe still try to see something good in a person you are interested in?
