Various quarrels and unspoken grievances seriously spoil our mood and relationships with others. How to avoid conflicts, can this be learned? Constantly radiating positive is not so easy, because at every step we are lured by unpleasant surprises and attacks from other people. But fighting all this negativity is vital.
Why is it so important to stop swearing?
The main reason to think about how you can avoid conflict is your own mental he alth. Think back to the last fight you ever had. Dissatisfied skeptical statements quickly turn into real cries. But now you and your opponent have already parted ways, and you are shaking for another good half an hour. It’s impossible to focus on anything, and all that remains is to scroll through all the insults received in your head and think which of them are well-deserved. But really, if someone from those around you constantly treats you with disdain, over timeself-esteem can drop significantly. Have you ever seen husbands who have been sawed for years by their wives or work colleagues who are hesitant to take on serious projects because the boss constantly says that they are too tough for them? Of course, a bad peace is better than a colorful war. It is always good to have a polite neutrality or benevolent relationship with everyone you know, rather than making enemies. And this is the second reason why it is better not to bring the situation to an open confrontation.
Learning to understand and respect
Universal advice on how to avoid conflict is to learn to respect everyone around you. It does not matter who is in front of you: a homeless person trying to beg for alms or the head of a large company. Each of them is a person, and if you have to speak, maintain a friendly tone of communication. Often conflicts stem from misunderstandings. Listen carefully to your opponent, do not interrupt, ask additional and clarifying questions. If you think that the interlocutor is wrong, or says some kind of nonsense, briefly retell everything that you understood from what you heard, ask again if this is what he wanted to say. Never take information critically, remember that everyone is en titled to their own opinion.
Never be the first to fight
Think about how often you provoke conflicts? In order to start a quarrel, sometimes one careless word is enough. If you provoke openly, inciting the interlocutor with statements that offend him personally or his beliefs,that he has, it's time to seriously think about his behavior. Perhaps you need a personalized "How to avoid conflict" memo. Remember that it is always easier to smooth the situation, quarrels are not useful, you need to be able to achieve your goals through peace.
Think positive, wish well
Never accumulate evil within yourself. A popular advice from psychologists on how to avoid conflict at work or at home is to simply remain silent. In practice, it really often works. But even if a quarrel does not occur, resentment will remain in your soul for a long time. Did you know that many people suffering from serious diseases of the cardiovascular and nervous systems prefer to remain silent until the last moment? All claims to others should be expressed, but at the right time and in a friendly manner. This is the key to a happy family life. If family members rarely help you, do not make a scandal, but simply point out their mistakes and ask for help. In a similar way, you can find a way out of many situations leading to conflict.
Don't gossip and criticize consciously
It is the essence of human nature that in the absence of common acquaintances, we love to talk about them. Not only women, but also men are prone to “washing the bones”. This habit should be abandoned. If you criticize someone, say it to the person's face. Climbing into your personal life, if you were not initiated, is at least uncivilized. It is already a real meanness to speak unkindly behind your back about those with whom you personally communicate well - this is already a real meanness. From categoricalit is better to refrain from commenting on third parties at all. If the situation requires your comment, try to gently, but unequivocally, tell the person everything in person, as it is. Is it possible to avoid conflict if you want to criticize, but do not have solid arguments? Of course, yes. It is enough to emphasize that all your words are your personal opinion, and whether or not to listen to it is up to the opponent to decide.
Argue or not?
Some people are born debaters, they like to prove their opinion to the last. In this case, it is not the result that matters, but the process itself. How to avoid conflict with friends or relatives from scratch? Learn to respect other people's interests. Suppose your wife likes green tea without sugar, and you prefer sugary coffee with cream. Will you swear because of this? Rather, everyone will brew a cup of their invigorating drink and drink it with pleasure. So why stoop to mutual insults and shouting because of musical tastes, politics or religion? It is most useful to mark in advance a list of topics that it is better not to talk about with a specific person.
Agree and…do it your way
A common cause of conflict at work is teaching and admonition. The most difficult thing is to resolve the situation when you are sure that you are doing everything right, and a less competent person offers a different algorithm of actions. If you try to defend the truth, conflict cannot be avoided. This is the very situation when it is important for the attacking side to emphasize its authority. If athe boss "teaches" you to work correctly, but despite the fact that the results suit him today, you should not try to point out the errors in his judgments. A rare boss admits that he does not have sufficient knowledge and really came up with utter nonsense. Listen carefully, agree, promise to fulfill. Wait for a convenient moment and continue to work in the usual algorithm. This advice on the eternal theme: “How to avoid conflicts” will help at home. Put on a hat before going out in May so as not to upset retired parents. Or promise your wife not to drive faster than 80 km/h. As soon as you turn the corner of the building, the headgear can be removed, and how to drive a car is your own business. But everyone was satisfied with each other, and the mood is at its best for each potential participant in the quarrel.
If the scandal started…
An entire branch of psychology is busy deriving a universal formula for how to avoid conflicts. The rules don't always work. And if you are nevertheless drawn into a showdown, your task is to end the quarrel as quickly as possible. Concentrate on the problem and try to find a compromise. The most important thing is to find out and understand what the other side wants. Never switch to insults and do not remember the past, it is also advisable to abandon generalizing formulations. This is the main secret of how to avoid conflicts in the family - never say "you always say …" or "you always act …". Such criticism is dangerous; phrases of this type are perceived by the addressee as the most severecriticism. Summarizing, you make it clear that you are always dissatisfied with the behavior of your interlocutor and perceive him as an unworthy person.
Good mood - salvation from scandals
If you don't know how to avoid conflict, learn to remain calm in any situation. Keep your voice low and keep a friendly tone. It is also helpful to keep a calm smile on your face. When you are criticized, listen carefully and thank you sincerely. If you are dealing with someone above you (boss or parents), emphasize the authority of the speaker. Recognize that without his guidance and advice you would never have thought about it on your own. You will say: "But why obey your parents in adulthood, if it took all your childhood?" In fact, knowing how to avoid conflicts in the family is useful for everyone. Appreciate your closest relatives, small concessions to prevent a quarrel on your part are nothing compared to the well-being of the house and the warm atmosphere.
Tricks of life without scandals
Pleasing everyone is always very difficult. It's one thing to keep quiet during a fight and dress up once a month the way your mom wants you to. But it is quite another to dedicate one's life to an unloved profession or to give up one's own desires. When you are about to give in to someone, try to assess how much this act will harm your life? Being able to defend your interests is also a whole art. In some situations, it is better to survive the quarrel, but continue on your way toexisting guideline. Is there a universal way to avoid conflicts with your parents if they wanted a completely different life for you? Of course, it is worth trying to explain your position and come to an understanding. But if conversations do not work out, you should leave this topic for a while. After all, we all know that quarrels with the closest people are the brightest and strongest, but reconciliation usually happens very quickly.
Summing up
Now you know how to avoid conflict at work or at home. It is enough to stop taking to heart the opinions of others and criticism addressed to you. It is necessary to treat everyone around with understanding, and not to feel hostility towards anyone. Learn to forgive people and delete the unworthy from your life without regret. In some situations, it is easier to give in than to defend your case. If you are confident in yourself and your knowledge, do as you see fit. Don't forget to listen to your opponent. Only by understanding his point of view can you find a compromise or otherwise end the quarrel.
Some conflicts have serious consequences. After a quarrel, you can lose your job. Or your friend does not want to communicate with you further. Even if the conflict ended with a formal reconciliation of the parties, it will take some time to restore the old relationship. Assess the consequences of the quarrel, so that it does not happen, you should not perceive what happened as an apocalypse. If during a quarrel you behaved unworthily or undeservedly insulted the interlocutor, you should apologize. First time afterof the conflict that has occurred, it is better to communicate to a minimum, you will definitely be forgiven and understood, but some time is needed. But after a couple of days, you can move on to conciliatory steps. Try to just talk to someone with whom you recently quarreled, please this person with something. If you are in conflict at work, you should try to fulfill your duties at the highest level and not give new reasons for criticism and censure.
