There is often a symbiotic relationship between loved ones. Everyone knows that the baby and mother are connected through the umbilical cord, which can be clearly seen thanks to ultrasound. When the baby leaves the mother's body, the umbilical cord is cut, but the connection remains. Only now it becomes energetic, and it cannot be seen physically. However, invisible does not mean weak. What is the symbiotic relationship between mother and child and how to get rid of it, we will discuss further.
Definition
Symbiotic connection is the desire of one of the partners in a relationship or both at once, which is less common, to have a single emotional and semantic space. How does it manifest itself? A symbiotic relationship, to put it simply, is the desire to always be there, to receive the same emotions for two.
Signs
The symbiotic bond between mother and baby has the following characteristics:
- Feeling of constant anxiety for the child, the desire to take care of him and surround him with care.
- Total control over what happens to the child.
- The symbiotic relationship is manifested in the constant desire of the mother to solve the problems of the child. Most often, these difficulties are far-fetched and have no real basis.
- Mother's unwillingness to let her child go.
- The manifestation of jealousy towards other family members (father, grandmothers).
- Rejection of the child's social circle.
- Too big emotional and financial costs (the desire to enroll the child in various circles, sports sections, constant worries about the child's well-being, wrapping, introducing supplements into the diet, constant trips to doctors, and so on).
- Mother cannot concentrate on business, feels emotional discomfort when the child is not around.
Start
A mother for a child during pregnancy becomes both digestion and kidneys, she provides him with useful substances, oxygen, divides the blood supply, endocrine and nervous systems, as well as immunity into two. Already at this stage, the psychological and emotional contact of the mother with the baby begins to line up. After giving birth, the child, although it is separate, cannot exist without a mother.
Formation of the primary connection
The primary symbiotic bond between mother and child occurs in the first two hours of a baby's life. The warmth of mother's hands maintains optimal body temperature, and milk helps to restore the relationship that has been destroyed.cutting the umbilical cord, through which the child feels protected. During the feeding period, mother and baby establish contact with each other, and the child is able to see it better, since his eyes see better at a distance of about 25 cm from the object, this is exactly the distance between the breast and the eyes of the mother. During this period, it is important for the mother to talk with the cub, stroke him, so he will feel calm. Touching the baby's skin with fingers helps him breathe - there are many nerve endings on the baby's skin, and touch stimulates breathing.
Secondary
Occurs on the first day of a baby's life. At this time, both he and his mother build all the necessary contacts with each other, so it is very important not to separate them. Experts insist that the child should be picked up and put in the same bed with him, and not in a separate bed, as was customary before. The baby sleeps better if he feels his mother's breath and her warmth.
Tertiary
Begins to form as soon as the baby and mother are sent to the home walls. At the same time, it is important to understand that no matter how much you want to transfer the child to the family, he completely needs his mother. Such a relationship is formed within 9 months. It takes so much time for both mother and baby to get used to the created conditions of existence.
Negative aspects for mother and child
The mother-child bond is beautiful, but here's what happens when it's too strong. Negatives for a mother:
- Communication with a child does not causefeelings of pleasure.
- Mom lives in anticipation of another emotional breakdown and spends a lot of moral strength.
- She accumulates the negative emotions of the child and leaves the state of emotional harmony.
- Mother feels exhausted.
- The child ceases to understand affection and refuses to do something until a scream appears in the house.
At the event level, this is expressed as the constantly growing appetites of the child, unwillingness to help around the house, to take into account the interests of parents, in such a family everything revolves around his interests.
What is bad about the symbiotic relationship between mother and child for the child himself:
- It is important for a baby to constantly feel the attention of his mother and attract him with actions.
- Such a child commands and demands that adults obey his rules.
- He is not interested in anything, does not know how to get involved, feels a constant feeling of boredom.
- Another feature of such a child is that he constantly runs away, does not obey. When he grows up a little, any failure will cause blues and the ground knocked out from under his feet. At the same time, he will argue that the path of learning and self-improvement is not for him, and he does not need the advice of other people.
- Child does not know how to evaluate their emotional experiences and control them.
- Very unassembled, even when he was over six years old. He still needs to be controlled: where he put his things, whether he collected everything for kindergarten or school, whether he gave someone else's toy to the owner.
Impact on children's he alth
A child who failed to separate from his mother in infancy will make two attempts - in early childhood and in adolescence. Some children experience difficulties during adaptation in kindergarten or school, during this period they often begin to get colds, and not always bad weather or a virus becomes their cause. The child is anxious and wants his mother to stay with him, and it does not matter at all what the price will be his own well-being. It is in the desire to always be near the mother that the psychological reason for the constant painful state of the baby lies.
Weakening methods
What can be done to make the relationship between mother and child he althier? To begin with, realize that by your actions you are causing irreparable harm to the child, even if they are of the best of intentions. A child under the influence of a symbiotic relationship does not know how to trust his own feelings, does not know how to live without a mother, becomes a weak, dependent person who will live all his life in constant regard for your opinion, forgetting about his own dreams. Not the brightest prospect. Enroll your baby in kindergarten, take him often for walks, for children's parties, so that he learns to interact with other children, other adults and the environment.
Discuss the book you read or the cartoon you watched with your baby, ask questions that will make him pay attention to his own feelings, for example:
- "Whatdid you like the moment in this cartoon the most?"
- "Do you remember this episode in the book, it scared you, what did you feel?"
Discuss how the day went, what the child did, what he ate, what was the most delicious, unobtrusively draw his attention to your own experiences and feelings.
If a child does not want to wear gloves because he is warm - do not knock his inner feelings with your own.
Insist that he does some of his own things, such as painting, and do not control this process. Say that you love your child and trust him, even if he doesn’t do something the way you want.
Symbiotic bond occurs not only between mother and baby, it is also formed in a pair of other people close to each other: between sisters and brothers (this is especially true for twins), wife and husband. Often it can occur between close friends who consider themselves family.
