Do you think you are a bad mother? Why do you think so? Perhaps someone you know is trying to reproach you for something, or you yourself understand that you are not devoting enough time to your child. In any case, reconsider the attitude towards your child. How to do it right? Read below.
Spend more time with your baby
Do you call yourself a bad mother? Psychologists say that women who spend a lot of time with their child are a priori good mothers. Although they do not always know what to do, they do not always bring up the right way, but they love their baby, support him and, if necessary, are always ready to provide him with their protection. This is the kind of mom you need to be. Try to spend as much time as possible with your child. Be aware of his interests, get to know his friends and go out to barbecue with the whole family more often. In the evening, do not sit in front of the TV screen, but rather do something useful and exciting, for example, draw with your baby or do a joint craft. At work, you can get to know your child better, and also instill in your child the skilldiligence.
Don't be afraid to show your love
How often do you kiss your child, and how often do you hug your child? If you are looking for the answer to the question of how to become a good mother, then you need to show more tenderness towards your baby. Many women are afraid to spoil a child and make him a sissy or sissy. Do not be afraid of such consequences. With proper upbringing, manifestations of love will only show the child the sincerity of your feelings and in no way spoil the child. And if you do not kiss the child, hug him and say kind words to him, then the baby may grow up with a lack of love complex. Mom must first of all show the child that he is the main miracle that she has. And only secondarily, a woman should be a strict educator, who, by the will of fate, needs to grow up a worthy member of society. Show more love and then you will raise a he althy and happy child.
Listen to your heart, not to others
People always talk a lot. "I'm a bad mother!" - these are the thoughts of a woman who is under a lot of pressure from society. Neighbors, friends and parents will always dictate to you how to live right and how to raise children. You can listen to such statements, but you should definitely filter the information. Among it there will be not only bright thoughts, but envy and resentment will also come across. People can say nasty things to you only because they admire you and cannot realize howYou succeed in everything, but they don't. So the next time your neighbor tells you that you are a bad mother because your house is too tidy, just shut up and transform the negative into a positive form. You are a good housewife who manages not only to take care of the house, but also finds time for a child and a husband. Listen to your heart and do as it tells you. Ignore gossip and backbiting.
Don't raise your voice at a child
Does the thought often flash through your head: "I am a bad mother, I yell at children"? So what's stopping you from giving up bad habits? If you are haunted by the fact that you take childish pranks too close to your heart, then stop doing it. You should learn to cool down quickly and clear your mind. Take up meditation or master any breathing exercises. The next time your child pisses you off, calm down first and then react. Remember that no kid will intentionally ruffle the nerves of his parents. Even teenagers will not engage in such an activity. Every effect has a cause. If a child behaves badly, it means that he is dissatisfied with something or he does not like something. Try to understand what exactly needs to be done so that the child calms down. Realize that yelling will never help you solve problems. Try to think logically and don't let your emotions turn off your mind.
Don't use corporal punishment
You can't beat a child in any situation. It's not even worth threatening a child with a belt. Why? Childshould understand from an early age that all issues can be resolved culturally, without swearing and assault. Thoughts like "what to do, I'm a bad mother" go through many women who have hit a child. In such a situation, the only thing left is to ask for forgiveness from the baby and say that you will not do this again. It should also be mentioned that using force to solve problems is bad and ugly. And you can't do that. Such speeches made in front of a child will be your kind of promise that you will no longer use force. And the next time you feel like hitting your child, remember what you said to your child. Parents must be held accountable for their words. Therefore, if you gave the word to the baby that you would not hit him again, do not hit him.
Develop your child intellectually and physically
No need to wind yourself up. Try to get rid of all the negative thoughts that swarm through your head. "I'm a bad mother!" - a similar phrase pops out of the mouth of every second woman. Remember that thoughts are material. Therefore, do not say stupid things and instead of complaining about your life, it is better to help your child improve his existence. How to do it? To be a good mother, you must help your child realize their potential. How to do it? Look at the child's natural tendencies and help him develop them. If the kid dances well, then take him to the dance section, if the child has artistic talent, then send the kid to an art school. Need no helponly for small children, but also for teenagers. If at the age of 15 a child expressed a desire to learn how to play the guitar, do not tell him that it is too late for him to go to a music school. Better get a tutor. Help the child and support him in all endeavors. Then the baby will love you and will be grateful all his life that you gave him the opportunity to realize his potential.
Don't put bans without explanation
Never, under any circumstances, say no to a child without explaining why you said it. Otherwise, you will kill the research potential and the desire to find workarounds in difficult situations. Instead of repeating: "Yes, I'm bad and I won't allow you to do this," it's better to tell why you forbid something. When the prohibitions are justified, the baby will not want to violate them. For example, tell them not to dip their fingers in hot tea because it will hurt. Give your child the opportunity to test your prohibition. And when the child burns his fingers, do not feel sorry for the child, but tell him that you warned him. After violating such two or three prohibitions, the child will no longer want to check the boundaries of what is permitted.
A bad mother never explains anything to her child. If you follow this logic, then you will grow yourself a malleable robot that will not have an opinion and will not have a desire to learn and improve itself. Therefore, do not kill the initiative, but redirect it to another, useful channel.
Do not spoil the child
What can a bad mother do withyour child? Do you think beat him? Nothing like this. A spoiled tomboy is much more dangerous to society than a downtrodden sissy. Do not go to extremes and do not raise your child within the framework of permissiveness. There must be logical prohibitions and the child must understand why he cannot do this or that. Don't buy all the toys your baby wants, even if you have the financial means to buy them. It is necessary to raise a child in the spirit of the fact that money is not some kind of paper, but the equivalent of human labor. The kid must understand that pleasure can be obtained not only from material values, but also not from material things. Proper upbringing will help a mother get rid of feelings of inferiority, and will also provide an opportunity to avoid many problems in adolescence.
Talk to your baby more
A bad mother rarely pays attention to her child. Being a good mom is easy. Communicate with your baby more often. Ask your child how he is doing, ask how the day went and what was interesting in kindergarten and school. But in addition to asking the right questions, you must also be able to listen to the answers. This will help you build a trusting relationship with your child. Parents should be not only mentors for the child, but also friends. It is to the mother that the baby should come for advice, and not just for consolation. Trust can be achieved through support, understanding, approval, and encouragement of the child.
