Children's fears are an inseparable component of all stages of a child's growing up with a characteristic reflection of his current problems and experiences. Every child has at least one hidden anxiety in his soul that is difficult for him to share. To help solve the problem on your own and gain invaluable experience in overcoming life's obstacles - this is the point of correcting children's fears.
Child's fears: what are
Children's fears in preschool age are not always the result of the child's own experience or a conclusion drawn from his personal negative experience. Children are more prone to social anxiety than most adults because they do not understand the meaning of many things that are happening and are ready to accept the version of a more experienced authority as the truth.
Classification of children's fears has a conditional etiological division into three groups:
- based on experience - arise as a result of stressful episodes, the possibility of repetition of which causes a distinct feeling of fear in the child (fell off the couch and hit - fear of heights). These types of childhood fears take on an obsessive form that can turn into a phobia with age;
- plot-fiction - include fears of the dark, in which monsters can hide;fear of closets, basements (for a similar reason). Often, delusional fantasies reach the point of seeming absurdity - the child begins to be afraid of household items, toys;
- inspired from the outside - these are all those horrors that adults carry in themselves and involuntarily or specifically express in the presence of a child, or directly to him. Here: fear of cars on the road, strangers, fear of disobeying, otherwise all sorts of troubles will follow (a thief will steal, a monster will eat).
It should be understood that even the stupidest reason in the eyes of an adult why a small child is afraid to be alone or asks not to show him some thing should not be ignored or ridiculed.
Freudian classification
Studying such an aspect as children's fears, Freud derived a formula for matching the child's age with periods of learning about his body and formed on the basis of these two factors - complexes and anxieties.
According to Freud's theory, the development of a child's personality occurs according to the following algorithm:
- Oral stage (up to 1.5 years) - the child is focused on the sensations that he receives through his mouth. Here: the formation of sucking and swallowing reflexes, new flavor nuances of complementary foods, the desire to put a toy into your mouth and taste it. The impossibility of calm eating, the mother’s periodically bad mood during feeding, unpleasant taste sensations or injuries of the oral cavity can reward the child with a mass of complexes and unconscious worries.
- Anal stage (1, 5-3, 5 years) - the child learns a new science to cope with natural needs while sitting on the potty and discovers his ability to control the muscles of the body. It is necessary, starting from this period, to allow the baby to show independence and defend himself as a person. Constant bans and restrictions will serve to develop a person who lives in eternal fears, a weak-willed person.
- Phallic stage (3, 5-6, 0 years) - the child is aware of his belonging to a certain gender and spends a lot of time studying his genitals. Beating on the hands, suggesting to the child that he is doing badly, that he is “wrong”, leads to a deep subconscious laying of an inferiority complex and fears associated with the depreciation of the personality.
In order not to cause irreparable psychological disturbances, it is necessary to allow the child to go through the path of self-knowledge and be sure to answer all his questions about the structure and functions of his body.
Fear and age
In recent decades, the border of a child's biological maturation has shifted slightly towards early maturation, so the period of social fears, which previously fell at the age of 11-12, now begins at primary school age - approximately at 9-10 years. What are the causes, types and characteristics of the manifestation of children's fears that determine both sides of this invisible border?
Biological or early fears of a baby and a preschooler include 6 periods of acuteness, manifested in different children in varying degrees:
- 0-6 months –claps, loud noises, absence of mother;
- 7-12 months - the process of changing clothes, strangers, unusual household items and other people's premises;
- 1-2 years - no adults, medical staff, bad dreams;
- 2-5 years - darkness, small rooms, big water (sea, river);
- 5-7 years old - fear of death, awareness of the transience of life;
- 7-9 years - pain, height, loneliness, accidents, natural disasters.
Features of children's fears in pre-adolescence and adolescence are closely related to the realization of the individual in society. Schoolchildren are afraid of the mocking attitude of others, being alone or not being beautiful enough. It is not uncommon for a teen to seek protection in “childish” or overly aggressive behavior.
Causes of anxiety
Psychoanalysis of children's fears showed that almost all episodes of the formation of anxiety occur in a child with the direct participation of family members and his usual environment. It happens that the baby is already born emotionally aggravated, but then again - if the mother was worried or sick a lot during pregnancy.
The natural cause of children's fear as a veiled self-preservation instinct will be an unfavorable living environment. This may be the alcoholism of one of the parents, frequent scandals, the departure of the father or mother from the family. The child subconsciously adopts the tactics of a hidden animal and feels relatively safe only during periods of calm.
Similar behavior will answerpreschooler and excessive "pedagogical" severity in relation to him, but here, in addition to the fear of physical reprisal, the fear of not coping with the assigned tasks will be added. All together, this, as a rule, results in a complex of total loser and opportunist.
The opposite situation is destabilizing guardianship, using the suggestion that the world around is hostile and dangerous as the main pedagogical device. It is clear that the child will be afraid of everything that does not lie in the "circle of safety" outlined around him, and this childish fear will remain with him as a fear of everything new (neophobia).
Psychological trauma of any nature is always a complex of accompanying fears, whether it be the death of a pet or a terrible bat that has flown into a baby's bedroom. There is no need to wait until the impression from the episode develops into an obsessive anxiety in the child - it is necessary to “speak out” the situation if the child is already over three years old, and distract the baby for fun games if the meaning of the soothing words is still unclear to him.
Observational diagnosis of childhood fears
There is such a definition of signs of timidity as "beacons of fear", reliably indicating that the child is seized with anxiety, which he cannot find an explanation for. Observation of adults who are constantly next to the child will definitely highlight these “beacons” from among other emotional manifestations:
- frozen, "frozen" look of a child fixed on some object;
- the habit of curling up while sitting,while playing or watching TV;
- sweating palms, not related to physiological causes;
- aggressiveness directed at inanimate objects, often repeated games of war, destruction, desire to break toys;
- obvious enjoyment of the visual suffering of animals or weaker and more defenseless children;
- sharp pain in the head or abdomen, fever, nausea and vomiting on the eve of a certain recurring event (a lesson from a strict teacher, visiting a relative).
When answering questions from a psychologist or conducting an independent diagnosis of children's fears, you need to remember and identify as many examples of disturbing signs as possible, as well as restore the events that accompany most of the facts. As a rule, the problem quickly reveals itself if it acquires numerous details or repeats with the same frequency (for example, the child becomes ill before each visit to the math tutor).
Psychoanalysis of childhood fears in preschool patients is carried out by filling out a test sheet by parents. The conclusions that relatives make at the same time are based on observation of the child's behavior in the last period (several days, a week, a month).
Creative diagnostics - drawing
At the heart of almost all practical techniques for working with children's fears is the visualization of the problem through a drawing. Creativity is the most natural way of human self-expression in anyage, and drawing is also the most informative. The test requires a blank sheet of unlined paper and a pack of pencils from 8 to 12 colors.
If the workshop involves a free topic, then only fully completed work should be evaluated. The cause of children's fear should be sought in the "key" subject, around which the plot of the entire drawing will be built.
Sometimes a child with displeasure takes up the proposed work - draws carelessly, only to avoid pressure from adults or completely refuses the offer to "fantasy". This indicates a reluctance to discuss a “sore topic” or a fear of “doing something wrong.” In this case, it is better to move on to other diagnostic methods, and postpone drawing until the time when the child is ready to discuss the cause of his anxiety.
Color rendition in test tasks
Among the first points that a psychologist will focus on when analyzing creative work is color reproduction. The use of passive, dull tones, such as gray, black or dark brown, indicates an already formed problem and a deep stressful state of a small patient. If at the same time the drawing is literally furrowed with strong pencil pressure, then this is a signal of the child’s independent attempts to cope with fear, to push it out of himself.
Other colors, according to the emotional spectrometer of psychologist M. Luscher, mean the following.
| Color | Feeling myself | Aspiration |
| Blue | Satisfaction with current events | The need for total agreement |
| Red | Active life position, forcing events, love of life | The need for success in every enterprise |
| Green | Serious outlook on life, spiritual openness | The desire to always feel supported and safe |
| Yellow | Emotional openness, positivity | Striving for change, a sense of absolute freedom |
The important part of the creative test is drawing yourself. If a child depicts a figure that is identified with his personality, at the request of a psychologist, then the determining aspects of the analysis become the relationship of the child's "I" in the picture with other figures. If the image of a child serves as the center of a plot on a free theme, then such a picture is already a direct appeal to adults. The color rendition and the nature of the drawing will determine this appeal as a cry for help or an attempt to express oneself through graphics.
Home correction of fears in a playful way
Correction of children's fears in a calm home environment is possible if the baby's anxiety has not yet taken on an obsessive course and has not developed into one of the forms of a mental disorder. The basis of the home method is a dialogue in which parents talk carefully and kindly (notthey ask, but talk!) with a child about what fears are, where they come from and how to deal with them.
The conversation should be conducted in a playful way, best of all - in the form of a fairy tale, where the parent begins the phrases, and the child finishes them as he wants. You can start like this: “In a cave, far from here, right in the middle of high mountains, there lived an unfortunate, useless…”. The child answers and the tale continues, in accordance with his choice of "mountain dweller". Getting involved in the game, the baby ceases to control his unwillingness to share with the problem and gradually gives out all his "terrible secrets".
It is important to build the plot of the fairy tale correctly, turning the events in such a way that the unfortunate "monster" by the end of the story no longer causes fear, but a desire to make friends with him, to pity him. With the aggressive attitude of the child, it is possible to destroy the monster by throwing it into a deep abyss or imprisoning it for a thousand years in a high tower.
Be sure to give the child "superpowers" during the game, which scare away all negative characters without exception. For example, let the hero who inspires fear be afraid himself, but not everyone in a row, namely brown-eyed boys when they make an “angry” expression on their faces and say: “Get out!” It’s good to rehearse with the child, playing the situation, how he drives the monster away, and it funny runs far, far away, warning all the other monsters along the way that “no jokes with this boy.”
Parents should remember that regardless of the types and causes of children's fears, they do not seem either stupid or "empty" to the child himself, and convince him ofthat "he's already big enough to be afraid" is a waste of time. Let the kid know that all adults, when they were children, were afraid of something, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Only by meeting full understanding and “speaking out” all the “horrors” that tormented him, the child will be able to calmly accept his growing up and not feel lonely.
Wenger Correction
Dr. Wenger's Fear Destroying Technique is used with children over the age of five and includes five sequential steps to overcome anxiety. The lesson is held in the presence of the father or mother of the child, who should not interfere in the course of the conversation.
The content of the five points of the technique from children's fears should change, depending on the age criteria of the patient, the level of his mental development, temperament, desire to cooperate with a psychologist.
- First, the psychologist asks the child to tell a little about himself: what he likes, what he likes, and what he doesn't. If the patient makes good contact, then the specialist can directly ask him if he is afraid of something, how quickly he falls asleep? More often the child is not ready for direct questions and even at the stage of "entry" begins to show stiffness. Then the psychologist gently directs him "to the topic" until he receives the necessary information. This is followed by an explanation to the child that it is normal to be afraid, but in order to make it clear to fear that he is not the main one here, you need to learn how to drive him away. The patient is asked to close his eyes and remember the moment when he first realized that he was afraid. He mustdescribe your fear – what it looks like, where it hides, how it smells, etc.
- After the personalization of fear as an existing unit, its visualization follows. With the help of colored pencils, the child is asked to depict fear as he sees and feels it. At this stage, the preschooler needs help, because fear for him may turn out to be an abstract concept, devoid of a specific image. When forming an image on paper, the specialist asks leading questions, asking what color this fear is, what eyes it has, how many arms, legs (paws) it has.
- The resulting creation needs to be considered, to remember something connected with it. To achieve the desired goal, the preschooler must realize and acknowledge aloud that the depicted monster is exactly the character that frightened him, and now he is not in the child’s head, not under the bed or in the closet, but here - on a piece of paper. Destroying it in such a vulnerable state is very simple - you just need to tear the drawing into small pieces. The psychologist does not participate in the destruction of the drawing, but supports the emotional excitement of the child with prompts: “Let’s tear even smaller!”, “Throw it right on the floor, like this, step on with your foot!” Then all the pieces are carefully collected, crumpled and sent to the basket with the words: “Not even a piece was lost, everyone threw it away, there is no more of it!”
- Now it remains to convey to the child the importance of the actions taken by him - he did it, he has nothing to be afraid of in the future, and if a new fear arises in his life, he now knows how to deal with it easily and simply. Older children with well-developed logical thinking shouldexplain the principles of psychotechnical struggle with fear.
- The final, fifth stage is not considered mandatory, but recommended, especially for preschoolers, for whom it is very important to receive confirmation several times that everything is already good and bad will not return. The "fixing effect" phase is based on self-suggestion.
Working with parents
Timely recognition of children's fears and overcoming them is only 10-15% of the work of a psychologist. As in ancient times, the antidote was made from the same plant from which the poison was extracted, so the solution to the problem should be sought in the place of its origin - in the family. First of all, it is necessary to eliminate any reasons for the child’s justified fear - fear of failure or punishment, fear of becoming the subject of ridicule or home proceedings “with prejudice.”
Praise for a job well done, regardless of its significance, is the best medicine against self-doubt, which gives rise to all kinds of fears without exception. The child should not be afraid that he will be punished, even if the task assigned to him was not completed or performed incorrectly. But at the same time, achieving a pleasant feeling of pride in success and encouraging adults, he will try to overcome the loser in himself and thereby suppress all manifestations of this weakness in himself.
